I recall my friend of 28 who kept himself pure until marriage and then he met a gal of 30. They fell in love and she had to tell him one day that she was not a virgin. It was one of the hardest things for her to do and she wept so. She so badly wished that she had waited just as he had waited. They went on to get married and they are both so happy to this day.
Another male friend also waited and then met a gal in college. Not only was she a virgin, she had never kissed a man. He decided to marry her and decided not to kiss her until the wedding. He did just that and then later he said that he wished that he too had waited to kiss a woman until he found his spouse. (He had kissed another gal before he had met her.) Not surprisingly, she never regretted waiting at all.
Another guy friend waited to be sexually intimate until 32 when he married. His wife had had multiple sexual partners in the past and she also was convicted. She was so thankful that he still decided to marry her even though she had not waited like he had.
So, friends, you will NEVER regret waiting...for sex, for fondling, for kissing, even for emotional attachments...until you find a spouse. In fact, if anything, you will be so thankful that you did not bring more baggage into the relationship than you would have done so otherwise.
I am also convicted about this and that is why I am a virgin even though I am 42. I do not regret waiting and if God should bring me a spouse, I promise you that I will give my wife a precious gift that has come at a dear price to me.
If you are still a virgin, think on this: what if you and I were to meet on this site and fall in love and decide to marry and we got to the point of talking about past love relationships. When I tell you that I have waited for you all these years, wouldn't you like to reply that you have also waited? Wouldn't that be better than having to confess to me that you did not wait for me? Would I be sad if you had not kept yourself pure? I have to be honest, I would be devastated. If you only knew how hard it has been for me to wait...I would feel that all my efforts to keep the marriage bed pure were somewhat in vain...or at least I would feel sad that you would not be able to give yourself to me as I give myself to you.
I hope these words encourage you in your life of living to the glory of God. Because, in actuality, our commitment to God should be even more of a motivation toward purity...even more than that of a future spouse.
I realize that many who would read this are windowed and I consider you to be in a different category since you would not be able to be a virgin now. Even so, I hope you also are encouraged to stay pure before you marry someone else.
If you have been sexually intimate with a man outside of marriage in the past, I want you to determine if this happened after or before you were born-again:
1. If it happened after you were born-again, please consider confessing your sins (if needed) and maybe get someone to talk to about processing though the likely residual feelings. Also, please commit to another women your desire to stay pure from this day forward and invite accountability from a female friend.
2. If you were sexually intimate outside of marriage BEFORE you were born-again, I have some good news for you: you are a new creation and the old is gone. Yay! You have likely already repented of your old ways (including sexual immorality), but if you have not done so, commit to living a future life of purity until God brings Mr. right along. Your future spouse may or may not be a virgin, but if not, he should have repented of his old ways just as you have.
Lastly, if you are divorced, you will probably find that this post is WAY to simple to address your life situation. I hope you will look past my inability to speak effectively to your situation. Others will do a much better job providing words to guide and exhort.
Thanks for reading and I hope most readers will be encouraged by this!
Wow its really hurtful, though i am not a single mom, i hope there's one single mom who will speak for herself in this post. If i were a guy i would rather marry a single mom than a single woman who undergone abortion. :peace:
I so appreciate your posting. As I went back and read what I wrote, I see why you and other might find this offensive. And for that, I am sorry. And if a woman ever had to decide between abortion and giving birth, I would say having the baby is the only answer...all the time.
But let me try to re-phrase what I am trying to say. I believe in mating for life. Therefore, I believe that you should only be sexually intimate with one person. And the only way to ensure that your spouse is less likely to leave you, is to marry before mating.
So my post is not intended to make anyone feel guilty. (However, if someone reads who needs to repent, I do hope you feel convicted.) Rather I somehow want to reach those girls who are still virgins and to tell them not to give away their virginity until the man gives you a ring and his promise in holy matrimony.
(If the person dies, and you want to re-marry, that is a different story.)
I'm amazed by this discussion thread, I'm wondering what planet you're living on! Certainly not planet earth in the 21st Century.
It seems to me that you're living in an unreal world in which everything is clean and shiny bright and nothing is every old or worn out or tainted by life or the difficulties of this world. You may have read the Gospels but you don't seem to understand the first thing about grace ... especially the grace of God as shown in Jesus Christ.
You say you couldn't marry a woman who already has children or who is divorced. Why don't you read the story in the gospels about the woman caught in the act of adultery who was dragged before Jesus. What did Jesus do? He forgave her and sent her accusers away shame faced.
What if you had lived then and God had asked you to marry that woman so as to give her a new start in life? Would you obey God and take pity of her? No, you would probably condemn her just like the Pharisees did.
And what about Mary Magdalene, the prostitute, who Jesus delivered of her demons. When most of His disciples fled and forsook Him she stood at the foot of the cross with Jesus' mother and John, risking their lives because of their love for Him.
What if you had been alive then and God had asked you to marry Mary Magdalene so as to give her financial security? Would you have done it? Would you have obeyed God out of love for Jesus and out of compassion for her? I doubt it!
"You blind guides... hypocrites! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel!" (Matthew 23:24)
It's clear that you are not yet ready to marry anyone. Until you learn the art of compassion, and until you learn the meaning of grace, God will not inflict you upon anyone!
There are many things you need to learn. Learn that you yourself are a sinner, saved by grace (though I wonder if you are saved yet) ... learn that in God's eyes you are not better than anyone else ... you are not better than a divorced woman with ten children ... you are not even better than a prostitute, or an ex prostitute, like Mary Magdalene.
Learn that God's love is so great that His compassion and forgiveness wipe the slate clean -- totally clean -- for EVERYONE who comes to Christ for salvation. And once they are made clean by the blood of Jesus Christ then God rembers their sin no more! So whether they are single woman with children, or a prostitute who has just left the profession, we are to love them with the same love and compassion that God Himself loves them. Can you do that?
You see, what marks you out as speacial is NOT whether you have 'saved yourself for marriage'. It's whether you have learned the meaning of love ... whether you have learned the meaning of compassion ... whether you have learned the meaning of humility and putting others before yourself. Only when you have learned those things are you be ready to marry.
And then ... then God will be able to ask you -- command you -- to marry whoever HE wants you to marry. He may tell you to marry a divorced woman with children. He may even tell you to marry an ex prostitute. Who knows? That's His business.
Are you ready to do His business? Are you ready to marry whoever God wants you to marry, regardless of their past? Or are you going to go on looking for Miss Perfect? If you find her please don't marry her. You'll only ruin her life!
I hope I wasn't being too tough on you in my last post. I just wanted to try to help you understand that Christianity is not about being perfect... it's about walking in the grace of God and understanding that He is in the business of making all things new... no matter how imperfect they are now.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you :prayingm:
Do you really believe that such Rhetorics can stand on a trial, in front of His Justice?
Have you ever read what happened to those preaching against God's Words?
For those adding opinions far away from scriptures, false Prophets etc.?
If not, please read thoroughly following!
a. About Judgements.
Deu 17:8 If there arise a matter too hard for thee in judgment, between blood and blood, between plea and plea, and between stroke and stroke, being matters of controversy within thy gates: then shalt thou arise, and get thee up into the place which the LORD thy God shall choose;
Deu 17:9 And thou shalt come unto the priests the Levites, and unto the judge that shall be in those days, and enquire; and they shall shew thee the sentence of judgment:
Deu 17:10 And thou shalt do according to the sentence, which they of that place which the LORD shall choose shall shew thee; and thou shalt observe to do according to all that they inform thee:
Deu 17:11 According to the sentence of the law which they shall teach thee, and according to the judgment which they shall tell thee, thou shalt do: thou shalt not decline from the sentence which they shall shew thee, to the right hand, nor to the left.
Deu 17:12 And the man that will do presumptuously, and will not hearken unto the priest that standeth to minister there before the LORD thy God, or unto the judge, even that man shall die: and thou shalt put away the evil from Israel.
B. About whoredom
1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
The Greek word for fornication is "porneia = whoredom".
The Greek text for avoid fornication is "dia tas poreias sas = for your whoredoms".
C. About humbling a virgin
Deu 22:28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
Deu 22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
I think it is easy to be understood that such a humbled woman who married after to another man was the only reason for her man to divorce her because of whoredom!
And now
Unfortunately our times not only enforce pre-marriage sexual intercourse, but also blame abstinence.
You should be informed that God placed virginity hymen only to humans and horses!
I am not able to know about His Will refering horses, but i may understand why He granted it to humans, though for Him preremarriage intercourse, means humiliation of the woman, excused only by marriage where the man could not divorce her for any reason.
Corporal intercourse means also a kind of covenant like a sacrifice concealed by blood, and the one who brakes covenants will be stay trial in front of Him. Also divorcing was allowed to man except for whoredom, where whoredom was that his woman exposed after marriage as non virgin.
That above refers to women in Christian faith!
For the rest that believed after that, saved in Jesus, and repented for that, the Grace of God will inform us through The Holy Spirit.
