Well I've been flying around this website for a while and have met some really nice people. I have a dilhema that I would like to pose to the "seasoned" men. I am an older woman and the issues I have been running into are older men that have contacted me online or in the flesh seem to only have sex stamped on them. I'm not trying to be crude or non-Christian, just realistic. I am a widow.. was married to a good man and was faithful to him for 26 years. I will not apologize for that. ..athough I think some view it as "black widow! Go figure! I feel I am ready to meet someone,either for friendship or more who knows,especially since my husband wanted that for my life but I guess I have been in the bull pin too long because it appears everything has changed and there are too many" red flags." These people say they are Christian but before the conversation has gone 10 minutes it starts crossing the lines. Maybe I just haven't been at the right place. We do not have a singles ministry at my church so maybe I'm very limited. I would like to meet a nice man and have a good conversation with him. Isn't that where it's suppose to begin...Am I missing something? Help!
Also, on the flip side of this, I have met some very young men who are nice and want to date me but I won't because they are too young...I don't think my expectations are too high, now do you?...Let's see Boaz, Joshua, Joseph, mmm...I stay away from David's (even though he was a man of God) and Solomons....Please post back and enlighten me on this issue...Oh, by the way, the contacts were not from here..thanks..Robin
I Don't have any words of wisdom when it comes to dealing with guys. All I can say is continue the correspondence until the issue of carnality comes up. Then confront the person and ask if they really mean what they say. They may think twice and realize they have acted crudely. If they apologize, maybe calling them out was all it took. If they acknowledge their action as being done on purpose, then send them a thank you and tell them not to contact you again. If it's really bad submit the message for review.
As far as getting to know the disposition of a person the forum post will give you an idea on their thoughts and character. Hopefully the ones contacting you actually feel the need to fellowship and participate in the forums. All people of intelligence have thoughts they would like to express and gets a feeling of satisfaction when the wisdom God gives them actually benefits another. Part of being a good disciple.
Good luck, hope things get better for you, and may God bless you richly.
Well, through experience I have come to realize that the best relationships exclude sex and focus on the other aspects of life. Too often humans get wrapped up in the physical beauty of life, myself included.
In my last relationship my girlfriend and I never kissed and although we ended up breaking up it was the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. We learned so much about each other that we became best friends before we let our romantic interests guide our relationship in another direction.
I believe 'men of honor' do still exist however I think you will be hard pressed to find them on a free Christian dating webiste. That is not to say that they do not exist, but simply that you must be patient.
Everyone has a different reason for why they are on this website, but perhaps not all reasons are pure.
Thank you for your post back. I do enjoy the forums and I have sent thank you but no thank you's back to inappropriate messages and have tried to avoid things like this l...I guess my best place is the forums...that is where I have met my friends...Again, thank you.
I really am not on a "hunt" but would just like to know that the values I was raised with still exist. It saddens me when people tack on the word Christian and don't go by biblical principles. Please understand that I am not sitting in judgment on anyone. That's God's business and He does a much better job of that than I could ever do. I guess I'm just disappointed and I am beginning to understand that online dating or even communicating may not be for me. I thank you for your input.
I've shared the same experience as you've described ~ with over half the men I've met...all by at least the second date (a reason there have been few 3rd dates...cause it just isn't happening). ALL of these were so-called Christian men.
Have tried to tactfully be very clear in my profile ~ to let these guys know up front that if that's what they want, they need to look elsewhere.
Been told that the men pretty much 'expect' to sleep with any woman who goes out with them ~ primarily because the women are so much more aggressive about doing so now. I've asked a couple of men why in the world they would want to be with someone who will be intimate with them so soon ~ I've gotten no real answer.
Just keep praying that God will bring the person meant for you into your life ~ and keep closed all those doors you shouldn't walk through in the meantime.
I do believe God is closing those doors for me. Thank you for sharing with me. I was beginning to think I truly was a "prude" as someone called me because I tastefully declined his offer. I do believe virtue is in the heart and I am trying hard to be careful with mine. Thanks for the encouragement...it is appreciated...Be blessed....Robin
I have been following your posts ever since I have been on this site, and you have a beautiful heart. I know it can be frustrating, but I am sure God has someone very special in mind for you. He may just be getting him ready for you as already stated.
Now, to answer your question, yes they exist, but most are already married. Not all, but it only makes sense that the kind of man you describe would work to make their marriage secure. Of course some get divorced anyway, and some are widowers, but there are not many.
I think most men have their own idea of what it means to be honorable, and we live by those standards. However, you have to discover what those standards are. No man is worth much, even in his own eyes, if he compromises his principles. That is why most have their own set of values that are theirs alone. Now you just need to find one with matching values.
