This is more or less something I run into in relationships not started online...
As shown in my profile, I am a sunday school teacher for Kindergartners at my church and absolutely love doing it...it's my second year in a row to do it and God has blessed me abundantly by giving me this opportunity to serve at my very large church.
Since I am the ONLY young male working back there who is not a dad already, I draw quite a bit of attention in general and everyone on staff knows who I am, in addition to the parents of my kids. The women on staff who are teachers and department leaders hear and say nothing but good things about me, as do the kids as well. I hear the comment quite often that I "Must have a wonderful girlfriend, or plenty of girls interested in me" but this is only partially true. Many secular girls find me attractive and enjoy my personality and outgoing nature, but for some reason I have issues with Christian girls.
If anything I'm too clean-cut (by most girls standards), so it's not like I'm getting sauced at dates or making moves on them...i do neither no matter what. But I remember one of my female friends telling me a girl from our church said "He's always with those kids and seems like a dad...it's sort of creepy." she also admitted that many others girl have said the same thing. These girls are in the age range of 19-23 btw.
So I supposed my real question is...is wanting to be a daddy and loving children REALLY creeping out girls my age? Is this just a crazy maturity issue or do they think I'm going to want kids immediately if we get married? I want more than ANYTHING a Christian partner who will love me and whom God wants me to be with (I might have met someone on here already!) but I was just wondering if something like this really "turns-off" girls. Either way I don't care, I'd sooner die single than give up working with my kids...but I'm just curious.
So I supposed my real question is...is wanting to be a daddy and loving children REALLY creeping out girls my age? Is this just a crazy maturity issue or do they think I'm going to want kids immediately if we get married? I want more than ANYTHING a Christian partner who will love me and whom God wants me to be with (I might have met someone on here already!) but I was just wondering if something like this really "turns-off" girls. Either way I don't care, I'd sooner die single than give up working with my kids...but I'm just curious.
I should'nt answer this because I am NOT wanting or asking to be a mommy AGAIN LOL just want to state that with the issue that I had. My husband wanted kids but didnt do anything with them. I did ALOT of it and they needed his devotion and attentiion as much as mine. I was wore out so, I would think it must be the maturity thing you said because it does not seem like a bad offer to a woman someday about how you are at loving kids and enjoying being one yourself.jk I know my kids love it when I am having as muich fun with them as they are with me. I think its a good thing! a Godly good thing. Say hi to the little kiddos for me too. I love them I just cant do it all over again for myself. I want GRAND CHILDREN.....TO SPOIL(LOVE)
I am going to put this bluntly. Sorry to scare you but here goes...that is what I am good at.
Most men who have, in the past, worked with young children, such as you are doing...well they turned out to be child molesters. Not not all of them...but a majority.
The following are quotes from www.urbanbaby.com
"But no one is saying that all men are child molesters. What's true is that a significant percentage of men involved in careers that give them intimate access to unsupervised, young children are molesters."
"Wrong. It's the inverse that is correct: A large percentage of men who molest children choose jobs where they have access to children. It does NOT follow that a large percentage of men who work in jobs where they have access to children are therefore child molesters. Do you not understand the distinction?"
They reason the women are giving you funny looks.....is that they are wondering what you are up to.
That is not to say you are a good Christian...remember God knows your heart and your sins. These are just statistics say.
Well, I don't find it creepy, and I fit that age range.
But maybe it's because I do really want kids, and it would certainly work out better if the man I marry wants kids too.
I do watch men a lot around kids to see how they interact. I want them to genuinely like being with the kids as opposed to putting on show for all the baby-crazy ladies :goofball:
I assume they find it 'creepy' because they question your motives. But don't worry I promise you it doesn't scare ALL women.
awesome, you do exist! It's not a turnoff. Hey clean cut is want some of us are looking for. Don't write us off yet!. Perhaps we're too quick too judge... by your appearance we assume you're in to 'having a good time' for lack of a better word.
your desire to have a family etc, isn't because 'everybody else is so i want to too" right?
To me, that doesn't scare/turn me off at all. I already have a beautiful daughter and I want more than anything to have another child to love and to hold, but when the time is right for me. I believe God gave me my daughter because he knew that I could handle it and that it would lead me on the right path. I'm in complete adoration that you love your kids so much! I used to help with the toddlers at my church, and as much of a handful they were, I loved them all so dearly. I think that any girl who thinks that what you're doing is creepy is clearly misguided and doesn't understand. But me, as a mother, I do. Haha. Sorry for 'writing a novel of a response', but you get the picture :)
wow i never read one of these post before but you really speak to people and have a caring heart :hearts: i belive that you are truely a wonderful person and a loving mother you keep it up and keep trusting in the God for real you have a great blessed day :)
My response is not just because I am a mom.... it's because I know where you are coming from. Since I was too old to attend VBS and Children's church I have been teaching them. Working with children and youth is my passion. I knew from the time I was young that I was created to be a mother and a wife (among other things). I've always had the desire to be a parent... to give life and teach the meaning of it, to my own flesh and blood. In my opinion it's definitely a maturity thing with the girls you're talking about. And perhaps the majority of them do think you want children immediately. That could be kind of scary I guess. A lot of people don't know how to manage time between being parents and being a couple. They never saw a good balance growing up and are afraid that if you bring children into the picture early on, that you will lose yourselves and your relationship. Does that make any sense? Well... like I said, I may not shed any light on this issue given that I am now a mom... and that I'm a girl. It seems more acceptable for women to want children sooner than men. That's the worldly view though. Most men are afraid to "give up their freedom" and "get locked into the 9-5" thing. That's what makes your desires a bit less common, but far from scary.
Well yes some time has passed since I had posted that (I just started my 3rd year of teaching and I have over 35 kids!) but I've decided to stay on this website for the fellowship and encouragement, not just looking to find someone.
I think it would seem more of an issue if I was a middle-aged fellow with no wife or kids who still lives with his parents and had no service references in the least. My church, being as large as it is, runs background checks on all workers in the childrens ministry extensively and routinely. It's sad that we live in a world as broken and corrupt as we do, so much so that there is discourse in people's trust with the church leaders.
