I was a troubled teen who had very low self esteem due to being raised by parents who did not know how to show affection or speak words of affirmation. I guess it showed because there were always adult men there to tell me that my father did not love or understand me like they did. So between the ages of 11 and 12 these men began to provide me with cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol, and also began to abuse me sexually.
This led to a lifestyle of drinking, drugs, and promiscuity that lasted throughout my teenage years. When I became an adult I had seen an ad in a newspaper that said I could make money dating men, so I began a career as a prostitute for an escort service. In my warped mind at the time, I thought that if all men wanted from me was sex then they were going to have to pay for it and that I was taking control of my sexuality. I did not feel that I was hurting anyone and that it is my body to do with as I pleased.
I tried to rationalize what I was doing and thought that I was somehow different from the prostitutes on the street, because I was going to the finest hotels and restaurants with these men. All of the money that I had made was spent on drinking, drugs, travel, and shopping, all in an effort to to make myself feel better about what I was doing. I eventually became very depressed and sought the help of a therapist who encouraged me to pursue my dream of working with animals.
And so I attended a school for dog trainers and bought a ranch in the mountains where I began to board and train dogs. So I lived on a ranch in the mountains with pet cows, pigs, and a burro. I was training dogs and making a great living and thought I had everything that I had ever wanted.
But I was still miserable and empty inside. I thought I must be crazy and that I would never be happy no matter how much I achieved. I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I was dirty, and damaged, and that nobody could ever understand me or love me after all that I had been through. I was also an atheist since about 12 years old and could not be convinced that there was a God in Heaven. Fast forward to March 6th 2005...
When I woke up in the morning and felt compelled to go to church, it was like I had no choice in the matter and I had to go. So I went and introduced myself to the pastor and said " hi, my name is Lydia and I really don't know why I am here, I do not believe in God". The pastor told me that the Holy Spirit brought me. Anyway I went in and felt at home there and after the service the pastor gave me a new believers bible and said that he hoped that I would come back. I went home and read the New Testament in a week, I could not put it down. Two weeks later I asked Jesus to forgive me and confessed Him as my Lord and Savior.
In that moment it was as if the weight of the world was taken off of my shoulders, and I cried like I had not done in very long time. I felt clean, whole, renewed, and restored. The scriptures became very real to me that day. And I know that the blood of Jesus does wash us white as snow, and that we are new creations in Christ. I no longer feel like there is something wrong with me because I am now right with God. The old man has passed away behold all things are new.
I now know what it is like to have joy, contentment, and peace in my life. They are gifts from God that nobody can take away. I know now what my purpose is in this life and it is to serve the Living God and tell everyone of His great love, grace, and mercy. And of the sacrifice that He made on our behalf.
Wow Lydia, you are such a strong, wonderful woman.
Your testimony is beyond amazing. Thank you so much for sharing. I apologize I don't have much time to elaborate or write much right now (I told you I have to pick up my Dad at the airport tonight).
I'm very happy you completely changed your life around. You are inspiring. This is truly a miracle!
I will be sharing maybe not with the whole world, but right here in Colorado. God has given me a ministry to start and I am looking forward to going out on the streets of Denver with a few sisters from church and witnessing to the prostitutes there and if God allows providing housing and vocational training for them. We serve a big God and I believe that this will come to pass and that many women will be set free.
Miranda,
I could never have made these changes of my own power, it is only through the power God that I am even alive today. Our God is awesome!
Your testimony is unbelievable. I really don't even know what to say. The Holy Spirit grabbed you and didn't let go.
I was never an Athiest, I always believed that God existed but I just wasn't living as a Christian. I never knew how to...didn't have a religious upbringing or Christian friends, etc.
One day I just picked up a Bible and started reading. It felt like the missing piece of the puzzle. Soon after I started attending church on Sundays.
I don't know where to begin in writing a testimony. Harder than I thought, but I wanted to give you some type of response.
I am an elder in my local Lutheran Congregation. I am an active member of two groups in my congregation which are the Mens and Social Diaconate HIV and Aids groups. I am also planning to join our church choir.
I was baptized when I was nine years old and remember it as if it was yesterday. As long as I can remember I had a love for God's Word. Here are a couple of experiences I had as Christian; I was traveling to Cape Town, South Africa with the then my landlord and his family. Upon arrival on the border I realized that my passport was going to expire within 5 days and the stay in Cape Town was planned for two weeks. This is when I started to pray asking God for His forgiveness for my negligence, to make sure that my things including the passport were in order. After confessing I ask God to bring through the border. I can’t remember whether I handed my passport to my landlord or whether he asks for it. Anyway, my passport included with the other people was about 8 passports. Needless to say, the official didn’t notice that my passport was going to expire in 5 days. Relieved I was when the official handed me back my passport without any query. I praised God. I didn’t even told the people I was with. After our two weeks stay and back at the same border post the official in charge did notice that my passport had expired a week ago. He however said that the Namibian border post officials should deal with as I’m Namibian. Well, again I prayed that God would let me through and He did! The official on the Namibian border post didn’t pick it up that my passport has expired.
2. It was Valentines Day 2005, when my grandmother who raised me passed away. I After I got the call from my sister I decided to take a walk The office suddenly became small. I ended up in a mall in the city centre. It is then that I heard a voice that said, “Jesus is holding you!” Filled with sorrow and anger I turned around as quickly as I can, saying, “What!” There I saw this women repeating what she said earlier with just little more emphasis on her voice tone, she said, “Remember, Jesus is holding you!” I just stood there, don’t know what to say, and then I heard me saying, Thank you. I walked from there with peace and joy in my heart as only God can gives.
So you just picked up the Bible and started reading, just like that the pieces all fell into place. Wow God is so good! Lot's of people pick up the bible and begin to read, but it makes no sense to them. I say that God called you my sister. And that's a radical testimony!
Praise the Lord everyone! I have been reading and enjoying these posts for months and finally decided to step out and 'contribute' as an official 'poster.' I have learned a lot through these posts. Thank you to all who have contributed and those who join to contribute posts. You never know how you will impact someone's life by sharing your testimony in this particular thread and by sharing sound-biblicial information in the other threads as well. :glow:
Lydia--your testimony is an amazing testimony of
God's love and how HE can bring people out of any situation if they will allow Him to do so. Praise God for you submitting to HIS WILL and laying your own will down to follow HIM and now be a minister of His Word to help other ladies.
All my life I have been what people would consider "a good girl." I knew of Jesus, attended church services, and was even active in different areas. HOWEVER, I had never given my life to Christ. Being a 'good girl' or 'good boy' is not 'good enough' to get one into Heaven.
The Lord begin to just pull on my heart and I had a strong urge to start reading AND studying my bible. Once I started reading, I couldn't stop. I read nonstop. And while working, I had my bible on every break and lunch period regardless of the snickering that was going on when others saw me reading a bible of all books. Shortly after my nonstop studying started, the Lord impressed me to get baptized at a local church I was attending while I was in college. I spoke with the Pastor of my 'college' church and he agreed to baptize me. Then, an amazing turn of events occured.....
As I was baptized into the water, what a wonderful feeling! I can just feel that same experience all over again every time I think of it. God had prepared my mind, heart, and soul before entering the water. I could literally feel all the weights of this world, the dirt and scum, and sin being cleansed from my soul. I could feel HIS forgiveness of my sins and all that I had been through in the past. I was immediately filled with His Holy Spirit in the water (with the evidence of speaking in tongues) and it was if scales fell off my eyes. The Lord immediately gave me spiritual eyes and ears. I could see and hear so many things that were of the Lord (and not of the Lord). It was the beginning of one of the blessed gifts He has lent me--discernment.
I have spiritually prospered only by the grace of God. I was one who thought 'being a good girl' and me not doing 'the sins' (which I only thought/knew of were drinking, smoking, stealing, murder, and sex before marriage) was a good life for me and I'd be in Heaven if I died. After being fully committed to Christ and really beginning to STUDY His Word, and surround myself with bible-believing/praying warriors, I realized the 'unspoken sins' of gossiping, backstabbing, disbelief, reading/watching/listening to unclean media, and anything else that did not glorify the Lord was a sin as well. So sin was more than just those things that you could be 'convicted' of in a worldly courtroom! AND to learn that gossiping was just as much of a sin in GOD's eyes as murder! I thank God for opening my eyes!
(And continuing to open my eyes and ears).
But thanks be to God that HE has kept me serving Him. Next month, it will be 16 years that I have been running for the Lord and it's been an amazingly blessed journey. Only God can keep you strengthened when you feel weak, encouarge your heart when you feel like giving up, comfort your soul when people disappoint you in this life...only God. Friends and family can be there, but ONLY God can bring that inner peace, loving comfort, and eternal victory.
Thanks Lydia for starting this great thread! I pray that as others read the posted testimoniies, they will be inspired to walk in a greater boldness for the Lord!
Thank you for sharing! It is great that you brought up the good girl and boy issue. So many people think that they are so good because the have not committed the" big" sins, and do not realize that God is just as offended by the ones that you mentioned. Sin is sin.
Praise God that you are still on fire after 16 years! I pray that I will be too. May many more testify of Gods awesome power to change lives.
