Thread: How much is enough and how much is too much?
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How much is enough and how much is too much?
Posted : 15 May, 2009 08:53 PM
Hello everyone,
Suppose that you have met a guy or gal online, you have talked and expressed interest in one another and have even discussed meeting in the future. This is my question: how often would you expect someone who is interested in you to call you? And how many calls would be too many?
If interest is shared and meeting is expressed, then I don't see why a couple would not want to talk on the phone at least ...perhaps 3 times a week. Of course the closer you get in getting to know someone the times might increase. LOL
You know what I believe? If someone is truly interested in you then they will make the time to talk with you.
I find it odd when someone says they are interested in you and wants to meet you yet they do not have the time to call you and yet they manage to find time to go online and do whatever they do on this site. It can make someone wonder if they are being strung along while they continue searching. I have seen many people over the years lose something precious, a gift from God, all because they kept searching for something better in one way or another and missed the blessing!
Thanks for your answer. You know I agree with you, I think that many people are on a quest to find what they think is the perfect guy or gal and they will never find them. And maybe some people really just enjoy the fantasy aspect of being in a relationship online and do not want the reality of meeting in person and making the time for a relationship.
The bottom line is this Walter, if someone is still looking or they are really not that into you, they should just be honest and say so. Well that's my 2 cents worth.
dear folks, im kinda like walter. it dont have to be an everyday thing.. yet youd still wanna keep in toutch. either by email or messinger..just a note to say hi or just to let em know you are thinkin bout em.. but not by phone everyday.. with me thats not a necesity..
Thanks for your answers. Walter, I agree with your 3 times per week by phone and Cattle, the notes via I/M or email to let someone know you are thinking about them. Good answers guys.
Personally, I do not like to ever have to wonder where I stand with someone and I appreciate one who is honest enough to say it, if they are just not feelin me. Or on the other hand he makes it very clear that he is interested.
Another question: how do you feel about someone that you are talking to, who you plan to meet and they are still searching? Do you still want to communicate and eventually meet or would you rather wait until they know what they want?
dear lydia, well, as for myself, if one has friends of the opposite sex then the other can have friends of the opposite sex as well. long as its kept to friends id be ok with it..
I will stand with the the guys on your first question. The second one I would consider it not offensive to continue searching having never met. After meeting this person and all seemingly went well and it continues I might have some questions tho....Jim
hi Lydia, really, why quantify, measure, compare everything? if both of you show interest, and both of you keep any kind of Goodly relation one each other, the number of calls and time cant bee quantified at all!!!
we are all different, no couple or potential couple is the same, trust in God, submit your life and will to Him, trust Him. Depending on who you relate with, depending on your feelings and how close both of you are already, the time and qualities will change, usually will grow, but i dont have to tell you this!
so, enjoy what the Lord is giving you, dont question too much, keep Him at the first place in everything you do, and it will be easy to know when u are doing things right, u will have the answers to your questions by yourself!
I agree with zxcvb whole heartedly! I think each couple will gauge this based on their personality styles.
I am an INFJ and would love to be shown that the other person cares. Now depending on where we are in the relationship, I do not want to feel smothered either with calls 5 times a day.
I met someone who called me early morning everyday and prayed over my day! Now we didnt go far for other reasons, but I thought that daily call was special!
One more thing, I dont mind if they are still searching, even after we've met. It depends on how that meeting went - We may have connected as friends only.
I actually do not want to start out with an expectation for anything more than friends. That should happen naturally and with God in it, we would both know when to call the search quits!
