I am not an expert on relationships but I just wanted to share some teaching that I have received from my Pastor on what women should look for in a man and what a man should look for in a woman.This was from a sermon on what to look for in a potential husband/wife.
Women want a man who:
1. Has a car.
The kind of car he has tells what kind of image he wants to project. Does he value speed or comfort? That can say a lot about what kind of relationship he wants.
2. Has a job/career plan.
Needs stable income. Have a job means he has discipline to get up each morning and go to work. Know how he treats of think about his manager/supervisor/boss. Can he take care of you?
3. Has a proper relationship with his mother.
Not the same as mommy. Values her counsel but is separated from her. He will treat you the way he treats his mother. Also does she(mother) controls him as an adult. Some are subconsciously drawn to the same as the first females in their lives.
4. Has a financial plan.
Is he saving up for a home or paying off any debts. Study what a potential mate focus on what they spend their time and money on.
5. He has friends who are mature.
1 Cor 15:33 Do not be misled
"Bad company corrupts good character."
Is he like his best friends. You attract what you are. Sometimes we are drawn to others out of a common weakness.
Look at the phone directory of someone who you are dating.(I know to some they may say it is an invasion of privacy but if there is nothing to be guilty of then there is nothing to hide.)
6. Has mentors in his life. Is he humble and teachable?
7. Does he have the reputation for being spiritual, kind, intergal and highly regarded by others.
1 Timothy 3:7 - He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.
Colossions 4:6 - Let you conversion be always full of grace, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Watch how they treat father figures i.e. pastor etc. Attitude towards a father figure is that same towards God.
Watch how he treats his pets.
Prov 12:10 A righteous man care for the needs of his animal.
I think this could also apply for a woman too.
MOST IMPORTANT!
8. Has the self-control to put limits on affection before marriage. A woman wants someone who is man enough to say no. If they sleep with you before marriage they will cheat on you during marriage.
I know that some will have their own opinion. This sermon was giving to a congregation of young people but the same can apply toward older adults.
Men want in Woman who:
1. Respects Him.
This is so important to men they would rather feel unloved than disrespected by a woman. Respect does not mean submission. Respect has to be earned. A wife should not mother her husband.
2.Is Pure.
How does she handle herself, spiritually, emotionally, physically. Is trustworthy. Men don't buy the cow when the milk is free.
1 Thes. 4:4-7-that each you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who does not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
Though we may have fall short of God's glory we have been forgiven by him and shall sin no more.
3. Is Attractive.
Not necessarily pretty-not shallow. But do you take care of your appearance. Do you love you neighbor as yourself.
Is she godly. Is she full of faith.
4. The Trinity of Beauty: Clothes/Hair/Makeup. This is important to be attractive.
5.Is Secure.
Balance of independance with dependance. (Not clingy, she can solve her own problems and issues.)
Proverbs 31:25 - She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
6. Has a healthy relationship with her father or father figure(for those who don't have fathers.)
7. Has Godly ambitions. Does she have God include in her career, when raising a family, when building a home.
8. Can be financially independent. Ex. Not asking parents for money.
9. Is Positive!
Maybe both men and woman can learn something from this maybe we can look at ourselves and learn how to become better for the person God has for us.
The kind of car he has tells what kind of image he wants to project. Does he value speed or comfort? That can say a lot about what kind of relationship he wants."
I have a mini-van, I LIVE in it half the year as I travel around North America with my traveling museum. Because the entire back is full, top-to-bottom, front-to-back, in order to sleep I have to remove stuff from the passenger seat and place it on the dashboard, then I can lay down across the two front seats.... sort of.
I usually sleep at truck stops like this, often driving for days at a time.
So what does a woman "read" from all of this? haha! Ladies???
That could be taken a lot of different ways! haha! Thanks though Lydia. You know what though, this got me to thinking. I mean, first, I was kinda surprised to read that: "What? Women judge a man by his car?"
But then again, I thought about it, and I too am curious about the kind of car a woman drives, how she keeps it, etc... and ya - I guess it does speak something about you.
It's just that in my case (except for the neatness part) it's all just a practical thing to me. ... although maybe that speaks more than I'm afraid to admit???
I suddenly feel like my life is a giant Rorshach ink-blot test!
I drive a little nissan versa, it is dirty on the outside cause I live on a dirt road and has car safety seats for the dogs and everything that I own fits in it. What does that say about me?
Whoa - I'm baffled. Car safety seats for the DOGS???
And everything you own fits in it?
Hmmm... without actually seeing it, I'd say:
-You're more concerned about what's on the inside than the outside, but that's not to say you don't care about appearance: the fact that you say it's dirty says to me that you don't necessarily like it that way - it's just a losing battle, being on a dirt road, you've got better things to do with your life than to try to impress people with appearances.
-you run a tight ship; no pack-ratting
-you're after efficiency and reliability
But what's the *inside* of the car like? huh? huh? Aside from the car safety seats for dogs - which you really gotta explain to me now :laugh: Like, do the dogs wear seatbelts and stuff when they're in the seats???
Good analysis my brother. And the car seats boost the dogs up so that they can enjoy the view and there is a tether that hooks to their harness so they cannot become a projectile in case of a crash.
And the inside of the car is neat, but there are nose prints on the windows and a little bit of dirt on the floors. It' a losing battle where I live, but it is beautiful.
