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Author Thread: getting to know someone?
muhugcy

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getting to know someone?
Posted : 25 May, 2009 07:33 PM

Hi everyone!



Well, I was really shy when I was younger and although I've overcome that, I'm still a little shy when it comes to single guys my age. I've found that I need to take things really slowly and not get too close too fast. But is that kind of thing acceptable in online dating? I mean, I may email or chat with someone for months before I'll feel comfortable exchanging phone numbers.



And even then, I'm very picky about who I would potentially date and most of the time I may not ever desire to be more than friends with someone. So I guess a second question is: is this okay? From reading profiles and chatting w/ a few guys, I've gotten the impression that most people are here to find someone, so I wonder if people would see that as me leading them on by communicating w/ them via a dating website.



Thanks for taking the time to read this. :)

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getting to know someone?
Posted : 25 May, 2009 10:12 PM

I think your smart for talking to as many guys as you can. Outside of dating the only way you can learn what traits you are looking for in a man is by communicating with them. You are not responsible for announcing to every man that you talk to that you may not be interested in marrying him (if they don't know that by now they have bigger problems to deal with). If a man doesn't have the guts to ask you what your intentions are then that is his fault and he deserves to follow a fake carrot for a while, however if he does ask its your responsibility to be truthful. I believe real men enjoy the hunt (and if they can't handle disappointment they are not going to do well in marriage-lol) and you should enjoy being hunted. Courtship is serious but it is also a time of fun so allow yourself to enjoy being a woman.

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muhugcy

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getting to know someone?
Posted : 26 May, 2009 09:38 PM

sisu33,



Thanks for the male perspective, I wasn't sure how guys viewed this sort of thing. And I agree w/ you regarding being truthful about intentions, I value honesty in all areas of life, especially in matters of the heart.

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Gourd00

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getting to know someone?
Posted : 21 Jun, 2009 05:52 AM

I think slower is better, but if you start to think a guy is going to be more along the lines of staying a friend to you than for you to want to have him as a spouse, it would be good for you to tell him that if you plan on continue talking to him. People are on here to look for a mate, and there is no point in spending countless hours talking to some people if it isnt going to go anywhere. We can only be good friends with so many people before 24 hours is gone in a day.



But in general, don't be afraid to go slow. Marriage will last you 50 years or more, it's not something you want to rush. And yes, some guys on here arent christian at all, and will try to rush you, or ask you to do things that are disgusting, but most places have their wolves in sheep's clothing, so don't be surprised. The great thing about online, is how much control you can have over how fast things go.

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