I might ask the same question of the ladies, but I will say that I have always written, not winked.... and then usually gotten no reply! So, figuring maybe I was doing something wrong in writing, and having ladies wink at me (but not write), I was tempted to wink instead - change my approach. But naw, I prefer to write.
If a lady has winked at me, usually I write back, even if only to tell her I wasn't interested; that's only fair.
Maybe it's just tough to find something to write about? I dunno - cause I'm not a winker.
My thought on the wink is that it is more for the girls to send. Saying hey I saw something on you profile that is interesting to me, but I am going to wait for you to respond. And to respond with content, not just "hey whats up?"
Seriously though - that is enlightening. I hadn't thought of it that way. This makes me re-evaluate how I react to said winks - even though it probably won't change much except perhaps my attitude.
So it's more of that "The man is supposed to pursue" thing? There's nothing wrong with a woman expressing interest, but in some ways I even agree it should be the man pursuing (though writing that makes me cringe - "What? I'M supposed to be the one stepping out and risking? How come the ladies get off easy and avoid rejection?")
But this is interesting - the winks, as you say, are an avenue for the ladies to call attention to some guy in hopes that he might follow through with the pursuit.
And it seems the only ladies who've tried to contact me were scammers. Aha - so if it's a wink, they're probably legit. If they write - THEY'RE A SCAMMER! I see now...
dear folks, i could understand a wink if this was a pay site and you had to pay to write emails. but since its a free site ,why wink when you can send a real email? it puzzles me.
"But to get a msg which starts with 'hi babe' even worse ..."
Haha! Ya, I guess there's far worse you could get than a wink, huh?
Scammer: A scammer is someone who, say, posts a profile with a drop-dead gorgeous photo of a white, blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman from South Dakota, when in fact it is a bald, black man in Africa.
They approach you via CDFF to try and convince you to give them money.
And of course, they do the same for women, posting photos of some male model and an impressive sounding resume.
Linnie made an excellent post on how to detect a scammer, and I provided a link to a really good website devoted to exposing romance scammers.
See the post entitled "ya think ya got a scammer?" under the forum "Advice on love and dating"; I posted the website there, and then Linnie posted her excellent scammer detection system (patent pending).
