I have conducted my own informal research by asking guys if they would approach an attractive woman they don't know and ask for her number. Every man responded by saying that he would be too nervous to do that because of fear of rejection. Does this mean men can only approach women from the safety of being behind a computer screen? If that is the case there is no wonder there are so many single, lonely people. Gentlemen what are your thoughts on this topic?
"Every man responded by saying that he would be too nervous to do that because of fear of rejection. Does this mean men can only approach women from the safety of being behind a computer screen? "
There are more options than that. It means those who stated such won't approach an attractive woman unless there is conversation and she shows interest in him. It does not mean men only hide out on the computer. It can also mean the attractive woman already has tons of men pursuing her.
Asking a lady out you don't know can result in bad outcomes, especially with today's accusational mindset, even in church. For instance, I said hello to an elderly woman in passing at church one day, one I've done outreach with. She told her husband I hit on her. He then called one of the ministers. I don't know if it spread thru the whole church or not, but it went from bad to worse, the more than husband talked. It caused me to leave the church.
The one thing not considered in approaching an unknown woman in public is the faith issue. There is no way of knowing whether the person is Christian or church goer, atheist, spiritual, muslim, or believes in everything and nothing at the same time.
Personally, I would not go up to a random stranger and ask her for her number. 2 reasons. One, I see it as rude, since neither of you two know each other. And 2, you don’t know her lifestyle. As a Christian, God forbids Christians dating non-believers. You do not know she is saved,and living a life that is surrendered to God. Dating is a serious business, and can’t be left up to just looks and popularity.
But it's a part of a man's life. Women have their own hardships.....men are designated Leaders by God and so part of that is taking the initiative, so that sort of pain is necessary. Subsequently, the man must be the one to ask her to be his girlfriend, the man must ask her to get married. These run the risk of a painful rejection, but I'm never going to marry a woman who asks me.....
"I have conducted my own informal research by asking guys if they would approach an attractive woman they don't know and ask for her number. Every man responded by saying that he would be too nervous to do that because of fear of rejection. Does this mean men can only approach women from the safety of being behind a computer screen? If that is the case there is no wonder there are so many single, lonely people. Gentlemen what are your thoughts on this topic?"
Interesting discussion. I have wavered between reality and virtuality. I have "hid behind the computer screen" and gone right up to total strangers and asked them out, and some variations in-between. None of these women were bad looking. I have my insecurities and sometimes am borderline terrified to talk to a strange woman. But, for some reason -- be it good sleep, a well-digested potato, or a good cup of coffee -- I sometimes have ZERO inhibitions and will just start talking to a woman.
I am still single after nine years of being widowed. My last actual date was in March of 2011. I have tried in all that time, and I have failed, repeatedly, regardless of venue: GNCs, laundromats, theaters, supermarkets, church, dating sites, chat rooms. I do not have what women want. The occasional worldly woman online will express interest in a hookup, but those are swiftly declined. I've had many women reject me on account of my height (5'6), and two christian women in particular told me so to my face.
There are reasons for my perpetual singleness, but most of these I'll never know. I have tried things the traditional way and have tried some of the more contemporary methods. I do not have what (most or all) women want. It is that simple.
So, in answer to your question, I am not alone for lack of trying. When a woman in church suddenly looks like a deer in headlights after I ask her if she'd like to exchange contact info just to talk outside the confines of church (after two nice conversations IN church that SHE initiated), you know something is wrong and that Godly companionship and sex are simply not meant to be.
I think men are here for a variety of reasons. Rambo gave you some (the lady Lydia did not get where he was coming from, and shows me how much most women do not understand men). I came here because not one church I've attended or visited in the Los Angeles area has a good singles population, or at least one I've felt like I had anything in common with. Online has failed. Reality has failed. Hence, the reason for my profile's structure. I simply don't take this site or trying to find a partner that seriously anymore, and I don't take women that seriously anymore (at least beyond the confines of them being human beings created in the image of God). But, I remain for forums like this.
That was such a funny but realistic writing. I totally loved it. Now as for me l have been thrown money at and it only makes you feel like an up market prostitute. However l do expect the guy to working towards financial stability because been able to handle money wisely and with kindness is reflective of their character. Would l want a man to pay for the first date ... it would depend whether we knew each other or not. If it was a first meet up no but grabbing a hot drink would be more suitable. If he was wanting to pursue me and their was interest on both sides than l would call this basic chivalry. Dates should be about learning about each other and there should be thought and time invested into this. And if you choose to marry than it should be the beginning of a life time of spending time together.
I wouldnt like a stranger to come up to me in public and randomly ask for my number. It shows he lacks discernment. However, if we were at some christian event than l would be fine with it as long as we chatted first.
This is my two cents from a girl that has no clue in life 🤪🤪🤪
😂😂