Author Thread: Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Angie1609

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 5 Jun, 2020 03:49 AM

Hi,



I'd like to use this platform to speak out:



Yes, we do have our preferences for a life partner. But let's not be racist or have preconceived notions in our hearts towards others who are equally searching for a life partner from different countries ( You never know what battles they would have fought through in their home ground).



Not all are looking for a green card might I add - I speak for many, some are highly educated, beautiful in their own rights, not looking for financial support and definitely does not need saving - Jesus has done that for them ❣️ ..all they look for is a partner who walks with them through 1 Corinthians 13 till Kingdom come.



The world is going through " Blacklivesmatter" revolution, if my voice counts I'd add "Yellow-brownlivesmatter" TOO. Jesus even with His hands and legs pierced looked down from the cross with nothing but love at human kind, am sure He did not see if we were black ,yellow,white or brown OR Asian/ African/ European. If this is the same Jesus that we so declare in our profiles to have faith in, might as well search our soul deeply and see if we are, what we declare we are even in our search for our other half.



Change begins at home, in our hearts, pray we learn to love and respects others who are not from our home ground WITH THE LOVE OF CHRIST.

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 5 Jun, 2020 07:09 AM

Good day Angie. Just wanted to say your post indicated some very valid points about being one in the church. I had a look at your profile and I admire your faith story, humility, and boldness to be direct and vulnerable at the same time.



You're right to say we shouldn't be racist and we need to look beyond stereotypes of people from different countries. Not everyone is looking for a green card to live happily ever after. Your profile detailing exactly what you are looking for is admirable. You being a believer in Hindu/Muslim dominated India... I can only imagine what obstacles you have to face when you just want to connect with a fellow believer which explains your flexibility with distance.



That said, I don't think people having preconceived notions is an overtly bad thing upon a closer examination. I assume you also have notions developed from past personal experiences from your usage of "green card" and "Yellow-brownlivesmatter" (yes they do matter). Please feel free to make a correction but from the info you've provided and statistical data from past research, I will assume your preference is Caucasian men from America. For this demographic, they experience the highest suicide rates in America. A good question to ask is, "what are factors that contribute to this?



"You never know what battles they would have fought through in their home ground." Your words ring true. I would encourage you to try to look into the perspectives of the men that matches your preference and try to research the country where they come from and seek to understand everything about how they might interect in their society. Demographics, lifestyle, culture, media, politics, values, and of course the role of faith in the society. Exposure gives you room to navigate towards the best communication tactic to speak to that person's heart. We were told to be wise as serpents in this world plagued by evil.



I think when a big factor like long distance is involved, people are not going to be looking just at your skin colour persay, but they are counting the costs. Every Christian will encounter this challenge in everyday life. People would ask a dozen of humane questions like, "how much is a flight to Bengaluru?", "my friends and family might think I'm crazy right?", " what are the cultural differences?", "do I like this person enough to learn a foreign language?", and "what would the plan to close the distance gap look like for my job, my family, etc?" Not everyone has that flexibility you have. Stay strong sister!

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Moonlight7

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 5 Jun, 2020 07:27 AM

Excellent. Response David ! You are a very intelligent young man. God gives us wisdom when we are His.



People have prejudice in this Nation and Other Counties for decades. It's not getting better only God can change Hearts.





Many foriegn people do want to come to America and will marry to do it. In my opinion.

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Angie1609

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 5 Jun, 2020 12:22 PM

Hello Dave!



You are kind, God bless you and wow! This is interesting and thank you for giving a different perspective. I feel like the Pandora women right now.



This topic stemmed from the fact that while I was browsing through profiles, I happen to come upon few that said if we are from India , Philippines , Africa etc we should not bother writing to them because of XYZ reasons…… (off course in kinder words, with apologies attached), and to cite a personal experience there was this certain someone who had no picture of himself and had written a glowing testimony, it was admirable and I loved it and mentioned it too, the response was pretty straight forward “I came to …… few months back and I won’t be able to sponsor you”. Yes I do understand, like you said not everyone has the flexibility/ bandwidth and have their fair share of everyday challenges, but it does not excuse us of the fact that were rude or were prejudice about it, we registered on this platform to find a friend / a companion / better half with the believe that this is a Christian site and that we would be meeting that someone who looks at us with the love of Christ if not anything else. There should not be room for racism/ prejudice in God’s Kingdom.



Having said the above – I apologize ,that I too have preconceived notions about certain denominations and race, hence I use the word “we” everywhere which includes me too. I start with me.



India is a diverse country and although we are secular and making progress in many aspects, there is no room in many pockets of the country for divorcees and are very much frowned upon and taken advantage off, and add flavor to it all, to be blessed with my skin colour and slanting eyes in this pandemic season we end up being called “corona corona” by even young kids who have no clue what the word “racism” even means. This is a daily battle and a generational gift that we are handing over to our children am afraid and it’s a chain that needs to be broken in Jesus name.



Coming to the point where do I ? prefer Caucasian men from America – that’s for me to know and them to find out , but this much is true from my stand point that the God who was a Father to a Fatherless will lead her to the person whom she is meant to be with, His will! not my preference be done! I stand on this ground and so are other women am sure, like i said not all are looking for the green card/ whatever other countries term it as. It would be sad to say that many would do anything to live the American dream. Having personally worked on international grounds,I think women are very capable of getting their own PR’s etc. than go on sponsorship of their other half. I like to think it that way! A shout out to all the STRONG! BEAUTIFUL! FAITHFUL WOMEN OF GOD!



Pray that I look at others with the love of Christ as they me.

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 6 Jun, 2020 06:22 AM

Yes, I have stumbled upon some profiles like that. It seems like when things are online, we can forget sometimes that we're interacting with another human (not a robot) before we write a message, tweet, or post.



The diversity in your country is so tremendous that it leaves me in awe at times. Prayers for Prime Minister Modi as he leads India through the post-coronavirus period. I'm very sorry you had to go through such experiences. It takes a lot of resilience to not stay bitter. We already have the cure to racism therefore we can cut the chain starting with ourselves and build up young people in our circle of influence.



That's understandable. Can't reveal all your cards right? Correct! God's will, not ours. You'll be in my prayers and I hope those that read your post will also be in prayer and be reassured.

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Angie1609

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 6 Jun, 2020 09:09 AM

Thank you Dave for your prayers!

I love my country and am pretty proud of it despite all its flaws, she is what shaped many of us to respect diversity,Covid-19 has bought many Christians, Hindu’s, Muslims , Sikhs etc together and serve the less fortunate, that none can deny. PM Modi may not be my choice of an ideal leader, ( we got nothing in common other than the fact that him and I share almost the same birthday ) BUT in God I trust, sometimes the unlikeliest people are raised to achieve extraordinary milestones for “His” children.



Pondered over what you said and there was this one verse that kept ringing in my heart –it’s from 2nd Tim 1: 7 “For God has NOT given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”. I’d like those who felt scammed or was harassed etc that made them bitter towards people from other races in this site to remember this verse- Especially the word “sound mind”, Yes we do need to exercise fearlessness and love others with the love of Christ but at the same time we need to exercise our common sense too (Sound mind), but definitely not racism / prejudice.



Pastor John Gray rightly said – “We are not going to be able to heal this (racism) at a legislative level, this is not a legislative thing, we can’t pass a law to change someone’s heart, that’s why this conversation has to happen in the Church”.

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RetroMillennial^

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 6 Jun, 2020 01:17 PM

I heard something recently that resonated with me and may be relevant to what we're talking about here. Someone observed that when religion and religious values are not the primary source of personal identity, inherent characteristics like race, gender, or sexual orientation become the dominant focus and source of one's identity. That then leads to the division, tribalism, hatred, fear, and finally destruction like what we are seeing in the United States right now. As we should all be Christians here, that should be our unifying identity. If race is truly an issue for someone on here, that may in some cases be an indication of how much value they place on their Christian faith as part of their identity (please note that I'm not speaking in an absolute here because we may not know the other person's reasons for their feelings).



Now, for a couple of caveats. For my own life, I've noticed that I find long distance relationships stressful when I only have a couple of hours in a car to go and see the other person. Hence, my statement in my profile that I can only be a pen pal to people from other parts of the world. I figure that if I don't like a long distance relationship across state lines, attempting an international relationship would be dead on arrival for me, regardless of the differences (or lack thereof) in race or culture.



Caveat number two: It was mentioned that some profiles identified specific countries that some people are not interested in getting messages from. One thing that I guess I would have to bring up about that is that IF their preference is purely about attraction, it should be noted that attraction can be a very fickle thing. It's not clear why someone is attracted to one characteristic about a person and not another. The other has to do with demographics. The population of this site is not even across the world and that should come as no surprise to anyone. I won't attribute specific motives, but it may be possible that specific countries are being singled out by people in their profiles because the person started receiving a lot of messages from people in those countries and they simply don't want to have to continually turn those people down.



I hope this helps the conversation a bit.

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Angie1609

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 7 Jun, 2020 01:49 AM

Hello “ RetroMillennial”

That was very insightful and I respect your thoughts and inputs, this is a Christian forum and its assumed that we are one in Christ. Perhaps we all need to re-look into the small gateways that we are creating within ourselves and our society, although nobody starts out being prejudice about other race/ culture/ ethnicity, however if we look at it, the gateway may have been the numerous messages received from people of other countries, that they simply could not turn down as rightly said, that perhaps may have triggered some of us to mention specific countries, the danger lies on the fact that it’s going unattended and thought to be normal. We may not realize it but,I feel this is the gateway and we are nurturing it to grow into something bigger. We need to cut this at this very level and put on the armour of God through 2nd Tim 1: 7(As mentioned in my above conversation).



Tips! Am sure many are aware that there is an option of blocking people from outside our country in this site? And one person had an admirable trait in stating right on- in his profile, that he prefers Caucasian/ European women from other countries too and within the radius of so and so. Perhaps we can communicate this way too?  or block someone if they are persistent in their quest for us? Guilty as charged I did the same for a certain “Hot-man”



You sir, gave an insight on the genuine challenges( yours included) that many may have faced in all honesty, i am sorry that many had to go through it, I speak on behalf of those who are misunderstood from this side of the world, we needed to be heard too. Not denying that there is always “a rotten apple -that-spoils the barrel” in every society.



Since most of us are ( am assuming) looking for our better half , it would be sad to stand on a platform one day and speak of God’s love for mankind and in the same platform we need to explain why we are treated the way we are because of our color ,race or ethnicity.



Hope people in this site do not reach this stage ! God Bless you.

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LittleDavid

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 09:08 PM

We all came from the same original Father & Mother, Adam and Eve.

Since I don’t believe in race OR color, I have no problems with a person’s nationality!!!

For sure, we’re all the same color, some just a little lighter, but same color, some a little darker but all the same color. It all depends on the level melanin—but all from Adam & Eve. Any dermatologist could tell you skin “color” is the same for everybody

As for “race”, there’s no such thing, unless you’re Charles Darwin. Although Chuck didn’t invent the concept of race he sure did exploit it!! Poor guy was soooo wrong about sooooo much!! Very tragic story about his journey from belief in God. Despite that, there are stull practicing Darwinists around!!

For a very interesting look at the topic from a different perspective, check Answers in Genesis, “Did Darwin Promote Racism”, and, “OneRaceOneBlood”. Very very interesting stuff!! Tells all about how we got where we are now. How and why we have different genetic makeups that determine our physical traits and all that!! I get all excited about that kinda stuff!!

I was more surprised to see this from the National Geographic › 2018/04

There's No Scientific Basis for Race—It's a Made-Up Label - National Geographic Mar 12, 2018 · It's been used to define and separate people for millennia. But the concept of race is not grounded in genetics

Even Newsweek—-There Is No Such Thing as Race - Newsweek Nov 8, 2014 · The notion of race may be real, but the science is not. We are all the same, with no exceptions

So there ya have it!! NO RACE

I think Newsweek and National Geographic still believe in the fledgling myth of evolution but, at least they got this one right!! Neither magazine is go to source for finding the right philosophy on life but every once in while they stumble upon a facet of truth

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LittleDavid

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Racism & prejudice in our search for life partner
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 09:18 PM

I didn’t mean to indicate the 2 magazines are hardly truthful in everything they write about. My comment was intended to convey only my opinion about their philosophy and concept of truth that are clearly different than God’s.

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