Author Thread: Avoiding interest
Admin


Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 10:01 AM

I know I'm not the only person who feels invisible or even unattractive...After all, I don't have some things going for me that women are most attracted to. I'm short, white, 45---divorced...etc..? My question for the ladies is may sound more like a complaint than question. I am not sure why you all seem to be looking for the tall, dark and handsome hunk, who has a six figure income, is romantic, athletic----and keeps up with what seems to be impossible. And now I have to drink wine and eat sushi, too?? Aughhhhh! lol. I have never been a player, and now I am forced to be single late in the game. I have been on a few of these sites thinking somehow I could find the "impossible" myself. Maybe I'm too simple and this is all too easy. I too, ignore most of those who actually do show interest...Is that OK? I see some awesome gals time to time, but don't stand a chance it seems. Do you really need a man, anyhow? Maybe the forum is where I need to do the talking without any stipulations.

DAVE

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 10:14 AM

I don't think you look unattractive, and you sound genuine. Sure we are all looking for the wine sippin' sushi eating tall dark and handsome young guy with a bankroll. Realistically that doesn't exist. I love sushi but we can eat at the hibachi, I will have my sushi as appetizer. :laugh: I don't drink at all so don't matter if you drink wine. I don't make millions, but I do work for a living, don't need a man but one would be nice.



What I am saying is the "dream man" is not out there, but if God has a plan it doesn't matter what you do for a living, or what you like to eat, it will happen. I'm still waiting; and this time around I truly have only 1 stipulation. That he be a true Christian gentleman. With that in mind, everything else will follow.



So, don't be so hard with yourself. She is probably out there waiting on you.

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 10:46 AM

Thank you for the humorous reply and your seriousness. That is what I need. I do not wish to sound cynical and pessimistic. I hope you all see between the lines; That I am not typical male seeking typical female. Heck, my "dream-girl" exists and I meet her time to time! Funny thing is, I attract the opposite. You girls have it too easy...and too tough at the same time, if you know what I mean! :)

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 11:32 AM

Here something of interest, your profile has never come up when i have done advanced search and it should have. So that is a consideration. Second, if women have expressed interest in you and you have ignored...are you using the same bias that you have expressed used by the wome? Here are probably some legitimate concerns based on your profile:

Trucker - you would be gone (could be an assumption)-nightime widow.

Nothing to offer - those are your words, women will wonder what that means, along with what you are not sharing.

Depending on the age of woman you are looking for, some have financial security or do not have financial concerns of a family living at home. With your own children, you probably aren't looking to relocate far, so women would have to consider moving to middle of Washington - beautiful-however, getting a good job difficult - hence back to financial security.

Probably most women are not looking for handsome. i dated one drop dead gorgeous man in h.s., and never did again, i went with cute (you are cute!). Now,at age 49, i don't value appearance as these are physical traits that most of us are born with and can only enhance what we have..and besides, it's our society defined (brain washed) what is beautiful-. Certainly, i want to be the cutest at the dining table.:goofball:

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 05:56 PM

Dave..



welcome.. first let me say you have a lot to offer.. your heart and that is what a lady wants. If anyone wants more then they are not for you. I think it just takes time for people to connect. I know until you posted the question I had never seen your profile. It was a very good one.



Just remember everything in Gods time.



GBU

bethany

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 06:02 PM

Yeah,I know what you mean,the tall thing really bothers me!I work out regularly,can bench press 250 lbs.,so its not a protection thing!Im not rich but i work hard and could probably do better with a good wifes support!I didnt have a lot of breaks in life(broken home,no good foundation)Ive had to fight to get where i am!Some women need to recognize us for the good things,loyalty,doing the right thing by them in christ.Women always complain about men being all about looks,yet a lot of them are about,money,status ect.Hang in there bro,sometimes i think gods gonna keep me single for the rest of my life,but,im also scared ill rush in to something out of desperation thats not blessed by god! In Christ Steven

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 07:28 PM

If you are looking then you should cast your net wide without expectations and don't be afraid. Sounds like "once bitten twice shy" going on here. Most women my age if you ask what they are looking for they will tell you someone that will treat them with respect. I don't know many women looking for anything specific. I think as a person gets older they drop the shallow expectations and go for what is real.



If you are "short" and your not finding the right one... it might not be because your short, maybe your attitude might be lacking or your insecurities might be showing? Not you per say, but as an example in general. You can change the word short with the word money, tall, ugly, fat... whatever. I'm sure you get the point.



I am a big girl, but I don't use my weight as a reason why I am alone. I am beautiful and I have many other qualities that make up for the area's I may be "flawed" by todays standards. I know there are people out there for all types and some (sings) like em' big; some like em' chunky ... lol (love that song by the way.... Madagascar movie) Anyway.....(sorry had a random moment)



I think patients is key. The reason I haven't found anyone is because I have a feeling God is still working on me and until I am right, I don't think I will find "Mr Right", but I am still leaving the door open and enjoying life on the way.



I think if we all just stop "thinking into it" and just let it be, enjoy ourselves along the way, the right someone will notice.



:ribbit:

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 07:55 PM

very good response LM,although,this may be a bit controversial,but,i think as a general rule,a man needs a woman more than a woman needs a man,oooh that ought to stir up some conversation!I really beleive,men have stronger sex drives than women(not all,but in general)Also ive always functioned better with a woman in my life!Dont know exactly why,it just gives a man a reason to fight harder,when i see a profile of a lady that says,very independent,dont need a man to take care of me,im imediatly turned off!Its like,ok,but i wanted someone to take care of,not financailly neccesarily,just in general,you know,kill the bugs,scare off the boogyman,rub your houlders after a hard day.whatever,I mean dont take away all of our duties. In Christ Steven

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 24 Jul, 2009 08:30 PM

I totally agree, and that is all I gotta say about that!!



Ya know; I do need a man... bugs stink! (I think I will put that in my profile)



:party:

Post Reply

Stan4life

View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 25 Jul, 2009 06:07 AM

Dave;



You were discussing you height and it got me to thinking about my first wife. She was taller than me and although she tried to not let on, the height thing bothered her. I guess she left because she got tired of waiting for me to grow up! :ROFL: Can any of you ladies relate?



But on a more serious note, I have to agree with Lisa Marie's comments about God is still working on her. I believe God is still working on me and when He has prepared me sufficiently, He will open that door to the right one.



Stan

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Avoiding interest
Posted : 25 Jul, 2009 06:29 AM

Steven..



I think we both need to the other. Some women are unwilling to admit they need a man and I have found men are the same way. They like the independence they feel and if they are with someone they think they must give that up. I have never understood why men think of marriage as a ball and chain type of thing. A wife should bring so much to your life as you should bring to hers. While I do understand it means giving up SOME of the things from your past but look at what you gain.



I for one want a man in my life.. to take care of me.. I have done it so long now im not sure I know how to have anyone care. But I know at the end of the day I wish someone was heer that cared if I was dead or alive or happy or sad..I want to want him as he does me and work toward a better life for everyone.



GBU

bethany

Post Reply

Page : 1 2