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Author Thread: Struggling with Divorce
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Struggling with Divorce
Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 05:28 PM

How does a person deal with knowing they have willfully and knowingly gone against what they promised God they would do.

I made a vow in my wedding that I would not separate from my spouse except for death and I did not keep that vow. It is not as if I sinned due to momentary weakness. I deliberated and thought and then decided marriage was no longer the answer between me and my wife.

She did not cheat on me that I know of. She treated me poorly for over a decade of which I let her. She didn't love me as I loved her. She was difficult in a hundred ways but still I broke it off.

I don't want to go back and do it over again. I wouldn't make another choice so to repent doesn't even feel right because to repent is to say I regret doing what I did and I am turning from that sin. Can I repent if I would do it all over again?

I need some council.

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Struggling with Divorce
Posted : 13 Aug, 2009 03:53 PM

Sorry you are struggling with the divorce decision. God was not surprised that you divorced your wife, nor is he surprised that you really don't feel sorry. I believe that in some situations, the Lord helps us to feel geniune repentence about situations. This may take time for you, but it will come, continue to seek the father and cry out to him, and by all means continue to walk before him in truth.:waving:

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Struggling with Divorce
Posted : 14 Aug, 2009 10:16 AM

Thank you, I found your words comforting. I really appreciate it.



Today I was thinking maybe I need to look for a book about post divorce for men or in general. Does anyone know of a good book?

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donpjt

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Struggling with Divorce
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 05:59 PM

Here is a link where there are several online books available about divorce and remarriage.



http://www.monergism.com/directory/link_category/Divorce-and-Remarriage/



http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Articles/ByDate/1986/1488_Divorce_and_Remarriage_A_Position_Paper/



And well, the other thing which I wanted to tell you, is that if you know that you are wilfully doing something which you know God does not want you to do, then the best way to deal with the guilt is to stop doing it. If you feel you are wrong in doing it, then don't resist the conviction which God has given you. I for sure can't understand the pain that you would have gone through in your marriage, but imagine that just as difficult it would have been for you and painful, it would have been painful for your wife as well. And if she did not want to divorce you it might mean that she might want to make things better, there are times when men don't divorce just because they are afraid to disobey God, but more than that, you took a vow that you would care for your wife more than yourself, and of course I agree that even your wife has failed in that. But if none of you make an example of yourself, how can the other learn? If you are not willing to be selfless and live for the happiness of your loved ones, do you think that if you remarry again you will be able to do that? All people are selfish and God gives us tough situations in life, not to lose heart, but to trust in him more and to defeat the circumstance by living for him. I know its very tough, though I can say all this, i know living is such a circumstance is tough and God alone can give the grace for victory. None of us is any better than the other, whether you divorce and another does not, all are selfish and bad men, but its only God who can change your heart and give you the grace to mend your marriage if you give it a chance.

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donpjt

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Struggling with Divorce
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 06:00 PM

Oh, I did not realise for a second that links are prohibited, sorry about that!!

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