Author Thread: More to Love (and some thoughts)
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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 10:23 PM

I never watch shows like this, but this one i have been watching because I wondered about the spin in it-th larger man and the larger women. I consider myself to be a larger woman, although I don't know if that has detered me from getting guys interested in me. Maybe it has, and I wonder that even on this forum....but I know that plenty of guys have liked me for who I am:)



The show though, makes me wonder if people have the opinion that not really skinny chicks-that they don't have a life. I'm just basing this on the show because all the girls basically say that it is just their weight that keeps the men away. Although I think that in our society that can be an issue with men, I don't think it has to be a "dealbreaker" as these women tends to feel. Even the main guy on the show talks about how he is giving these girls what they never had because of their size....



Um...ok.



I had a prom date. I dated in high school. I have people ask me out at libraries, resteraunts, etc. Perhaps not as much as other women (but I wouldn't know) but it still all happens.



So, all this just to say...I don't like how the people on the show portray themselves and hope that people don't think that they are less lovable because they are not skin sticks and they should respect themselves.



And, to blow away a myth...just because some people are larger, doesn't mean they don't like to get out and do things! Skinny or medium or large or whatever...it all totally depends on each person individually. So don't put yourself in a box or let others do it either:)

:dancingp:

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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 11 Aug, 2009 10:28 PM

PS. I couldn't figure out how to edit posts so I just wanted to make sure that I say this: I wasn't trying to be vain in what I said and I hope it didn't come across that way. I'm a normal looking girl and was just more trying to be an encouragement to others.

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Candace09

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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 14 Aug, 2009 08:46 AM

Hey I was reading your post, and I had a comment to make about people that are trying to lose weight. I have never had a weight problem so I can not relate, but I did some audience/background work on the show dance your *** off on oxygen, and watching how working out every week and how bad people wanted to lose weight for theirselves not only for others was life changing for them. By the end of the show some of those people looked like totally different people, and I cant disclose any details, but I do know this that it can transform a person's life. I really feel bad for some people that get made fun of for being overweight, I hope my sister doesnt end up having that problem. Bc my mom remarried when I was younger and my step dad is a bigger built guy, well she took after him. And I feel bad bc she has low self-esteem bc of it. The way tv shows have shown of girls and the "in crowd" is to be super skinny, and I know she just wants to be like that. I just think that no matter what size you are, to stay motivated and if you want to lose weight do it, if not just be happy for who you are. It does'nt matter what other people think, bc in the end their thoughts won't matter. but some weight issues can cause health problems and that's when it can become a concern. I do believe that no matter what size you are everyone has a special quality about them that others don't. I just think everyone should just love theirself, and if your not happy with the way you look then do something about it and don't stop until you get it. God bless!

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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 14 Aug, 2009 09:37 AM

I know what you mean, Sunny! I'm quite skinny myself, but am friends with interesting, engaging, active larger women. I don't understand what the media's fixation is on acting like one's weight absolutely controls their life; in some people's cases, it might, but they perpetuate the idea that you should feel left out or lesser because of your weight. It's sickening how they portray all degrees of overweight (and let's also consider what Hollywood considers to be "overweight", particularly for women) people as sloppy, depressed shut-ins. Is that how a larger person is supposed to be? Ouch.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it is easy to blame one's lack of success with the opposite sex on one's appearance. One might like to think that they have trouble getting dates because they are "fat" or "ugly", when really they have personality traits that have them make poor first impressions. Perhaps it is easier for those women to think that all men are obsessed with 20 inch waists than to explore the possibility that there is something inside them that is unattractive.

Keep the confidence and live your life, and don't let "reality" TV affect yours.

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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 08:46 PM

I agree with silyii:hearts:

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tristan07

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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 20 Aug, 2009 11:46 PM

When I was in high school, one of my best freinds, jennifer, was a very heavy set gal, but we spent alot of time together and she was part and partial to leading me to christ. That girl was so outgoing, full of life, and just happy, i coulnd have cared less if she was a heavy gal.



man people are all people, we all have hopes, dreams, desires, and love to give. and need love.



I sometimes wish we were all blind so we could just go by personality instead of looks, but such is life. Thank you for your honest and your post.



Alex

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Michael916

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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 22 Aug, 2009 10:49 PM

Amen brother!

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Posted : 5 Jan, 2010 06:50 AM

I agree with you 100%. I am not a reality TV buff, but when I saw that show advertised, I tuned in. I wanted to see how they were going to show these women and this "big" man who was "giving them a chance" even though they were bigger.



I can't believe how weak, depressed, and vulnerable they had these women be. I mean, at least find confident, independent fat women to go and show the world that we're not all loners who lock ourselves in our homes and constantly comfort-eat. I don't break down and lose all control when a guy doesn't want to date me. Maybe I am just not his type. Granted, weight DOES have something -- however little it is-- to do with the dating thing it is by no means something that should wreck a woman's self-esteem the way it had these girls.



I'm a big woman. I'm also smart, successful, and very confident. I go out and do things and I have fun with my friends. I don't constantly sit around worrying or beating myself up over guys not liking me because of my weight. The show did it all wrong. Those women wouldn't like themselves even if they were skinny. Confidence comes from within, and if you think poorly of yourself it doesn't matter what size you are, you'll always feel that way.

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Posted : 19 Feb, 2010 11:06 AM

god loves you just as you are open yourself to god and say holy spirit fill me with your holy spirit, read your bible starting from the new testament starting at the book of mathew and work your way throutgh to john at first,



that is a good place to start, and having good christain music to listen to helps your focus, hillsong praise and worship cds are good and very motivational





god bless you real good this week aqnd be blessed





carl xx

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More to Love (and some thoughts)
Posted : 20 Feb, 2010 02:00 PM

hey keep up the good work and bless and encourage more people



carl

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Posted : 21 Feb, 2010 02:13 PM

hey jesus loves you just the way you are, and it is what is in your heart that counts



carl :hearts:::hearts::hearts:

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