"Your such a great guy, that's why I turned you down"
Posted : 28 Aug, 2009 12:21 PM
Hmm...
You can be a wild, independant, free spirit. I tend to go in the opposite direction of our culture's idea of normaility.
The main thiing is LOVE. It doesnt matter if you're cool, or good lookin, or smooth, or anything else. Love is what counts, in the end. Now if you just so happen to be able to pull all that off, AND be loving... lol
I always look at the life of Jesus, he was fearless, but everything he did was thought out, had a purpose, and it wasn't to glorify him, it was to bring glory to the father.
I'm trying to figure out how to explain how I pull this off. Let's see, well, my first wife wanted me to be a slave/couch potato who just went to work and jumped when she said jump. Well, oddly enough, thats not me. Hmm there is a point here somewhere.
I'm sure you all know I used to be a *rockstar* guy, toured, played, recorded, for many many years. no thats not the point, what am I trying to impart here...
There is a legitimate way to be exciting, different, attractive, etc, without being a sinful wretch. But it's more just personality then anything else, really. SOme guys are just laid back, others are kinda gentle, or some are like me, and I', just all fire and flames and far out there... but thats just who God made me,
I think when It comes to dating, and the laws of attraction, as believers, our first consideration needs to be, is this a Godly man, or a Godly woman? Not, wow he/she is hAWT! or whatever. The true, real, ties that bind are held in the hands of God, no where else.
Mellow dude, wild guy, whatever, focus on love, the real lknd, not the mambi pambi junk you get in chick flicks.
Oh and what that one dude said about how bad boys are really into themselves, it's true, because it's all about image and how people percieve you, and that takes a strong element of narcassism to pull off.
anyway, sorry this was rediculously long and meandering. I'm kinda of distracted anyway, my girl is flippin out on me and my head isnt on too straight right now.
"Your such a great guy, that's why I turned you down"
Posted : 29 Aug, 2009 12:07 PM
I agree with legendofthecrucifix, A Godly man is what any Christian woman should be looking for, sadly many just dont look for that.
On a personal level however, I never really label a guy as bad guy or nice guy. For example I do want a guy that has fun and can be extreme at times, and has confidence in himself. Both spiritually and physically. If he is not confident in these ways how can he believe in his salvation, or how can he have confidence that he's making me happy or is good enough for me? All a man has to do is read the word with me, pray with me, love me and have fun with me. That to me is perfect. A guy is only a bad guy to you if you label him that way, same for the nice guy.
"Your such a great guy, that's why I turned you down"
Posted : 30 Aug, 2009 02:21 PM
Thank you all for your insight. It's really appreciated. Here's the story. Because we've still been talking ever since.
She claims to be christian, to read the word and says she want's a godly man in her life. And when we met it was amazing. On our first date we went to a hookah bar, then a restaurant, and hung out at my place for a while reading the word and playing music a while. I've never had a date that went that well before.
Well she just got out of a relationship a little bit ago. So I'm willing to wait till she's ready for a relationship.
But we've been hanging out, talking on the phone, we had future dates planned. Then all contact drops when we were supposed to go on another date. That's when (later) I got the "Your such a great guy that why I turned you down".
Come to find out. She was sleeping with her room-ate the whole time we were talking. And not only that (and I've met this guy before), I've heard him say "f*** JC" before. And I'm not down with that. I'm not down with anybody that will slander the name of someone that shed his own blood for us.
I sent her a couple messages over myspace of some passages she should read. For example: Psalm 69:1 (comfort for the broken hearted), and 2 Corinthians 6:14 (separate yourself from non-believers).
She doesn't seem to care.
Idk. Sorry about the really long message, but I've been in a funk lately. I just recently had a family crisis, and on the same night is when she decided to send me some nasty messages on myspace and that dude also sent me a few bad messages.
I don't care I'm kinda burnt out on dating for a while after that. I'm just glad she never met my son.
"Your such a great guy, that's why I turned you down"
Posted : 30 Aug, 2009 03:02 PM
On another note, replying to some of your other messages lol
I'm not a "nice guy", I'm not a "bad boy", I'm just me. A lot of women are drawn to me mainly because of my hobbies/jobs. I host karaoke/entertain at a local bar, I play 5 instruments and have a lot of solo work done. But they have no morals. And that would hurt my walk to be with them.
It seems though that whenever I find a girl that I actually am interested in for a relationship, something happens (like my last post). And the ones that are interested in me, I'm not interested in. It's a vicious cycle.
But for the moment, I'm trying not to worry too much about relationships or anything mainly because I could rather be reading my bible, or preaching the gospel (through music too).
I understand working at a bar (which is actually my second-job) isn't exactly the best for my walk. But you'll get the person sometimes who is struggling. And might be to change they're mind or convince them to go to church. I actually have someone coming with me to my church next Sunday who goes to that bar. So it's worked once haha
"Your such a great guy, that's why I turned you down"
Posted : 31 Aug, 2009 05:05 AM
So no one liked my thoughts?
Just kidding... I think what I said, should have included more detail because I wasn't trying to say you shouldn't be a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" or a combination of the two.
Who is bad? Who is nice? I can make a judgment, but the truth of the matter is we are all sinners saved by God's grace. God loves the "bad boy" just as much as He loves the "nice guy". This also doesn't mean you should date the "bad boy" or the "nice guy".
The point I was trying to make is that people aren't perfect and even Christians gravitate into these "extreme" categories. Like legendsofthecrucifix was saying these are secular perspectives (nice guy and bad boy).
When I said I wanted to shoot for something in the middle was wrong, but I should have said... I'm not confident in myself, but I'm confident in Christ who lives within me! He's given me faith to overcome difficult situations; strength and power when I was weary and didn't think I could make it. Being a Christian guy or girl is a life of dependence on God. Knowing that He is good, His timing is perfect and He will supply all your needs. However, I fail and so many times I get in the way of the relationship that Christ wants for me, but God hasn't given up me!
I want to apologize if I confused anyone with my previous post for this was not my intention, but I appreciate the Brothers and Sisters that shed light on these matters and provided a better perspective.
