Thread: Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Admin
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 17 Sep, 2009 07:29 PM
I understand why ladies are reluctant to give out their phone numbers...>staulkers & guys who won't stop calling after they have been asked not to - so enough said about that..... But I need some input from the ladies on this issue...As a man not only is it frustrating but it is also hard not to feel insulted or dishonored by that.....After all, who likes the fact the the woman IS insinuating that you might be a staulker or will continue calling after you have been asked not to.:devil: Gee wiz mam, well thanks a lot!
Give me a break. Most of the women I have written live in other states. Even if she is a poor judge of character - how is it that she can be worried about giving me her phone number?? - Especially when in a lot of cases they have given me their personal email address - which also gives me their last name in most cases...???
Perhaps I am naive.. (no doubt apparently) ...I typically expect a woman (especially a Christian to be honest) but a lady friend here insists it is because they have something to hide..Daaaa:dunce: - but you know over the years having probably 15 women since my teenage years - I think only one of them was a liar. Are there that many women liars on this site??????
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 17 Sep, 2009 08:40 PM
Not sure what specifically the question is, however it is clear you are frustrated. I've been on this site for six months, during that time i have had approximately six men who have emailed me who have been banned; not by my concern but cdff. That is a fairly high incident rate; add to my little activity.
Also, i believe it is easier to "screen" interest in the beginning compared to later after a friendly relationship has been developed. Plus, the scammer are usually pretty good at the scamming, so if a member (male and female) starts talking to one, it would be easy to get wrapped up in the web of lies. It's important to remember that it is not personal but a safety precaution, which should be encouraged not discouraged. Many men on the chat forum will agree and reinforce women to be safe.
i have only "talked" to three men, one was the scammer, second one lied about his age and the third i have enjoyed after three + months writing. Maybe the issue is the woman doesn't have the personal security or maybe she isn't interested to talk on the telephone. Be patient. :angel:
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 17 Sep, 2009 09:39 PM
Thanks. Food for thought. I know generally speaking men are way worse than women, but I need to be reminded of that because I am not like that - although like most I have had my moments. Never done anything that could get me banned on this site - by far.
Those statistics are WAY out there. A lot of real dogs out there unfortunately. Might be able to give you some good tips.
I recognize scammers immediately in most cases. Two emails at the very most. I probably get about 5 of them banned every week and the majority of them didn't write me. I can usually tell by reading their profiles. More often than not there are clues in their profiles.
Thank you for responding. This internet/emailing stuff stresses me out sometimes. But the good thing is all of the pain and hardship - better prepares me for my search in the real world. I have not dates in quite a few years.
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 17 Sep, 2009 10:00 PM
WOW, I checked out your profile. Can't see why the dogs are being drawn to you. MY HEART REALLY GOES OUT TO ALL OF THE LADIES. THEY MUST ALL BE GETTING THAT GARBAGE!!
THEY SHOULD APPOINT ME TO THE CDFF POLICE. I WOULD TAKE CARE OF THOSE GUYS!!:boxing::laugh: NO REALLY THAT IS HORRIBLY BAD, BUT IT HELPS TO BE ABLE TO LAUGH
BUT SOME OF THEM PROBABLY SHOULD BE PROSECUTED CRIMINALLY - ALTHOUGH IN MOST, BUT NOT ALL, CASES THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE DIFFICULT TO IMPOSSIBLE.. BUT I'M NOT JOKING -
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 18 Sep, 2009 03:03 PM
Hi there,
Just a few thoughts��
My problem with giving out a phone number is that with the number, he can find my name and address. Because I live in a small town and I am a teacher, it is extremely easy to find where I am employed.
No one else supports me so I must be very careful with my job. Also, there is a morality clause in my contract. If man shows up and behaves poorly at my school or even in the community, I can pretty much start packing the boxes because in the best case I won�t have to leave until the school year ends. Worst case would have me job hunting the next week.
The fact that a guy says he lives a few states over means little. Sadly, close to half of the guys that contacted me lied. Also�.it isn�t hard to drive across a state line. On the positive side, that means over half have been honest�.have to celebrate that.
My rule of thumb is to pray about it. God seems to have a pretty good handle on people and takes very good care of His own if we take the time to ask�.and then listen.
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 19 Sep, 2009 02:21 PM
Elisa
I really appreciate that. By all means do not give out your number until you feel comfortable - and I would also find out as much about him as you can before you do. Of course you do not want to make him feel like he is being investigated, but if you are interested in him it doesn't hurt to find out what you can.
Also there are usually ways that you can make it so that he would have a very hard time getting your information. If you are interested write me here and I will help you figure out some ways that you may be able to do that based on my knowledge and experience. Don't worry I won't be asking for your personal information.
But of course whatever you do - do not let yourself get into any sort of fear, but ask for Gods help, use wisdom and the tools available. Again, I will be happy to see if I can help you find and apply some of those tools if you like.
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 20 Sep, 2009 07:36 PM
Hello! I was wondering what I should look for in other people's profile to see if they are scammers. Thank you for your response. Feel free to message me with any tips.
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 20 Sep, 2009 10:07 PM
Here are some other things to watch for: (I posted this to another question, so if you feel like you've read it before, well, you have. Lol)
When someone writes "hello pretty" or wants your personal email address right away, they are a scammer - I'll guarantee it. You'll get pictures from them - not OF them, but most likely of some model somewhere. If you're not sure, ask them to snap a picture with their phone of them standing next to a blue car or holding up two fingers. Then ask them to download it and send it to you. If they are a scammer, they won't be able to do it - they'll make up some lame excuse, but they can't do it because they don't have access to the person in the picture on their profile.
If you do start talking to someone and suddenly their English doesn't seem nearly as good as it was in their profile, that's also a warning sign. They most likely took the profile from another site, slapped on a gorgeous picture, but aren't able to actually speak (or type) much English. This is another warning sign that they aren't who they say they are.
When IMing, don't be afraid to ask questions that you already know the answer to - if they say they're from Dallas, TX, say "I should know this, but I'm drawing a blank - what football team is from Dallas again?" This is of course, an example - but if it takes them a few minutes to respond, they are looking it up and are probably IMing you from a different country. Feel them out - you can tell in a short amount of time if someone is for real if you know what questions to ask.
And the age old rule - if someone asks you for money, they are either a scammer or very tacky. Either way, they aren't someone you want to be with. And beware - these scammers are trained to play on your emotions. They will tell you anything from they need help with a disconnection notice to their child is very sick. DON'T fall for it. If they really had a disconnect notice or a sick child, do you really think they'd be running to the internet to try to find money? No - they'd be going to family, friends, their church, social services....not the internet.
And just so you know - I've never fallen prey to a scammer. I just like to play with them. I think it's only fitting that they get a dose of their own medicine from time to time.
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 22 Sep, 2009 09:35 PM
Response to Linnie
Oh boy..... Do you mean when they say they exact words "hello pretty" or any complimentary form of endearment - they are a scammer?
Sometimes I might open by saying something like "Very Lovely Photo" usually followed by something I like in their profile. If I said it I meant it. I guarantee I am not a scammer, nor have I ever asked anyone for money - or would I send anyone money I did not know very well and had not met in person. I think ladies never should.
Reluctance to give out phone number> What does it mean?
Posted : 22 Sep, 2009 09:40 PM
Also it does not mean a person is a scammer if they ask for an email right away. I usually don't until after at least the third email. Although if I think there might be grounds for a friendship I will often give them my email address on a second email and once in a while even on a first. The reason for that is I am always on my email with work and its a lot easier for me to respond if they email me directlty. AGAIN I am not a scammer
