Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 18 May, 2023 10:16 PM
Lately, I've been pondering why no guys ever approach or like me. So far, I was talking to someone online and we met but he ended up ghosting me afterward. Also, I had a man approach me for a hookup which I do not do.
I am looking for a boyfriend and I see all types of women with boyfriends. I never get approached by any men nor do I even attract guy friends. Even a nice guy I could talk to would be good. I'm beginning to think I am unattractive or something like below a 5. I dress nicely at home and at work and wear minimal makeup (eyeliner, mascara, a little concealer, and lip color).
In high school I even had a few guy friends or people interested in me but now nothing.
I believe most people would describe me as friendly, easy to talk to, can be funny, smart, etc. and have lots of interests. Usually, guys will most likely completely ignore me or I will try to talk to them but they end up walking away after making a few comments.
It's just so strange because I wish I can have someone tell me what I am doing wrong?
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 28 May, 2023 08:15 PM
I checked your profile. You are very attractive and a Godly woman. Advice join a singles group and do a missions trip. You may find a single guy doing Gods work. I like to travel and am involved in ministry. Get involved ok. There are a lot of single guys and it is ok to make the 1st move.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 24 Jun, 2023 06:40 PM
Since you're asking, Elisabeth, here's my opinion based on a few observations. (Some of my comments may be more general in nature, even if I think they apply to your case.)
1. What you offer: Men value things in women that are different to what women value in men. Do you know what it is that *men* value in women? What do you *offer* that *men* value? Perhaps including some of that info in your profile might help. For example, California is, for better or worse, very (in)famous for being a feminist cesspool. You say you were born and raised there, which means it's more (or very) likely that you've adopted feminist beliefs --even if you *don't claim* to be a feminist yourself. Nothing you say in your profile tells anyone reading it that you've actually had nothing to do with said nonsense, etc. (And no, feminism isn't about "equal rights" and those nice-sounding things; that's the propaganda. If you want to see what feminism is really about, you can *start* with a documentary called "The Redpill" (published for free in YouTube within the last year), which was made by a now-former feminist while she was still a feminist herself... but I digress.)
2. Full-body picture: Very self-explanatory. When women don't show pictures where their full body, and face, are clearly visible, it's easy to conclude that they're (likely) trying to hide something about themselves. Men view a woman's physical fitness as part of the "value proposition", if that makes sense. And we don't like bait-n-switcheroos either (e.g. women who let themselves go and become unfit after "getting" their man). Hey, women expect their man to keep a good job and be a good provider or they'll leave him, right? Men have expectations, too. We're just culturally punished for having them and/or making them known, so many men just leave, but understand that they *are, and always will be,* there.
3. Age & Restrictions: You're 30 yrs old. Men tend to value youth, so, everything else being equal, if you had to compete against your 23 yr old self, your 23 yr old self would win. You have a 4 yr degree and are a manager, so, it seems, to me at least, that you prioritized your career above your ability to find a spouse. (Note I'm *not* saying that you didn't think it was important; I'm just saying that your actions *may* indicate that you thought your career was *more* important.) Obviously, this means that the time in your life when you had the odds more skewed in your favor was spent doing something else. You've also restricted your target ages to be 28-34. Obviously, this means that *you* have *rejected* any man that could've been interested, just on the basis of age alone. I'm sure your choice there has consequences.
4. Female Standards: This is something that only you can assess, and that depends on how objective and honest you can be with yourself. For example, most women I've seen answering questions online typically want the triple-6s: 6 feet tall, 6 figure income, and 6-pack abs, without realizing that just their height requirement rules out ~87% of the US male population... and we're not yet excluding men who're married, in prison, homosexuals, non-Christian, and so on, which means that said women have way less than 13% of men to choose from... and that's *most women* going for the same set of men. And we're not even adding the income requirements yet... and these are requirements from completely average women. Note: I'm *not* saying this is you; what I *am* saying is that you have to objectively review your standards and expectations of men and check whether you do fall into this group of women or not. This includes expectations for a relationship: are they driven by "romantic" stories (e.g. books, movies, etc) or are they driven by reality? It's said that romantic literature is the "porn" of women, b/c it gives them unrealistic expectations of how relationships should look like --among other things.
5. Your Past/History: It's said that women judge men based on what their (likely) *future* looks like, whereas men judge women based on what their *past* actually looks like. For example, a woman that has been relationship-hoping, or engaged in casual/hookup "dating", tattoos, etc will be viewed differently and is likely to raise "red flags" for men. (E.g. I've seen statistical studies showing correlation between people getting tattoos and their willingness to engage in more risky behavior.) A woman who wants a "traditional" man *must* have a history of being traditional herself. If this is you (e.g. feminine, cooperative, brings peace instead of stress, generally physically and mentally/emotionally fit, never engaged in hookup culture, etc.), then mention it in your profile and give specific examples that demonstrate this is true.
6. Willingness to Relocate: Like it or not, a key point here is your being in a site, which makes it more likely to result in a long-distance relationship (LDR), while simultaneously being unwilling to relocate. You might think this sounds like a double standard (e.g. I'm unwilling to relocate for any woman), but it's not. Here's where one of the differences between men and women shows up: Men are designed to lead; women are designed to follow/assist. (This is the Biblical structure; I presume you know the Bible.) While that doesn't mean you have to follow anyone, it does mean that your pool of potential men that will meet your criteria/standards is narrowed down more than before.
At the end of the day, a lot of women end up excluding themselves from the very dating pool they claim they're trying to participate in, often without realizing it. If 80% of women are collectively setting up their requirements in such a way that only the top 5% to 0.1% of men (varies depending on source) can, in theory, meet them, why would the average woman think she has a chance?...
In any case, I hope this gives you something to think about, perhaps do some self-assessment to see *if* any of the things I've mentioned do, or don't, apply to you in any way, etc.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 25 Jun, 2023 03:45 PM
I'm a guy, not a girl... I have no past. If I post photos online I get nothing but scammers and folks messaging me for sex. 10 years of looking and I only had 2 folks reply back to me online and both where simple hellos. 100s of messages sent and nothing. In person folks tell me to leave or will not even say hi back. It does not matter what I do, its never good enough. I try online, offline, dating sites, non dating sites. It obviously gods plan for me to have no one in my life, no friends, no family, nothing.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 26 Jun, 2023 03:57 AM
@thatguy93a
> I'm a guy, not a girl... I have no past.
I figured. I didn't say you were a girl, so I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.
> It does not matter what I do, its never good enough.
I get that. If you carefully read what I said, you'll notice that you might *not* be the problem... female hypergamy is pervasive in society, and was especially amplified with the rise of social media, etc.
> It obviously gods plan for me to have no one in my life, no friends, no family, nothing.
I don't know that it's "God's plan" to want stuff that's explicitly contrary to things he has done/said before (e.g. establishing marriage, etc). But, we do live in a world where what God would want people to do is not what people always do, etc.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 28 Jun, 2023 06:05 PM
>I don't know that it's "God's plan" to want stuff that's explicitly contrary to things he has done/said before (e.g. establishing marriage, etc). But, we do live in a world where what God would want people to do is not what people always do, etc.
No disrespect but this is the most human interaction I had in years. All my life I been ignored, abused and miss treated. I mean I gotten more then 1 death threat from my family in the last month alone. no friends, if I go anywhere church inculcated I'm told to leave before I even say hello. The few folks close to me in the past ether stole form me or physical hurt me. I just never got it, but now I see that its god plan for me to have a life of misery. the more I accept that the more I realize I need to stay the heck a way form people. It does not fill the void in my heart but at least I'm not being abused or miss treated by others.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 13 Jul, 2023 07:58 PM
I agree with most of the points you listed but disagree with the 30 year thing competing against the 23 year old. I've gotten waaay more men interested in me now than at 23. But I do agree with maybe not engaging in finding a man actively.
