Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 18 May, 2023 10:16 PM
Lately, I've been pondering why no guys ever approach or like me. So far, I was talking to someone online and we met but he ended up ghosting me afterward. Also, I had a man approach me for a hookup which I do not do.
I am looking for a boyfriend and I see all types of women with boyfriends. I never get approached by any men nor do I even attract guy friends. Even a nice guy I could talk to would be good. I'm beginning to think I am unattractive or something like below a 5. I dress nicely at home and at work and wear minimal makeup (eyeliner, mascara, a little concealer, and lip color).
In high school I even had a few guy friends or people interested in me but now nothing.
I believe most people would describe me as friendly, easy to talk to, can be funny, smart, etc. and have lots of interests. Usually, guys will most likely completely ignore me or I will try to talk to them but they end up walking away after making a few comments.
It's just so strange because I wish I can have someone tell me what I am doing wrong?
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 22 May, 2023 10:26 AM
After persons graduate there are fewer opportunities to meet new people than in a school setting with classes of persons, extracurricular activities, etc.
However, your profile states you live in Los Angeles. In such a huge city there are likely large numbers of single Christians in your age group.
You may meet them in a church service. There are probably multiple churches in your city with activities for volunteering, socializing, etc. At least one likely has many singles in your age group.
Also, when you are at a church, park, beach, library, concert, volunteering, working, and at other places doing things you enjoy, smile and be friendly. Converse with persons you are interested in. This can help you meet people. Smiling and making eye contact in a friendly way can help. But sometimes it's a good defense mechanism to not be too friendly.
Also, seek to avoid dangerous, risky situations. A church, library, or other public setting is probably safer than some others to meet people.
Perhaps most important, seek to avoid rushing into the wrong kind of relationship. Doing the things you enjoy doing and conversing in a friendly manner while making it clear you are a Christian who wants to build friendships with others who share common interests rather than "hooking up" may help you build the right relationships with the right people.
Talking to your parents as others have suggested, as well as trusted Christian female friends, can be helpful too. They may be able to give you more constructive advice.
Finally, some of the happiest people I know (including me) are people who remain single. You may find that stopping looking for a boyfriend and just becoming more involved in serving God and others, as well as church, may give you fulfillment. And when you stop actively looking for a boyfriend, that may be when the right person pops up at the right time in the right way with common interests, goals, morals, etc.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 22 May, 2023 12:41 PM
I'm too old to go chasing you around the maypole but you're a good looking young lady and reading your profile, it sounds like you're all there. So, I wouldn't say it's you as much as maybe God has 'Mr. Right' for you but not Mr. 'Right now'.
It's a funny life as a Christian; we can't see how things have to line up just right in time and place in order for us to have our prayers, wants and wishes put in front of us.
Enjoy your life while you're young and appreciate all that's put in front of you today. Because....when that right fella DOES come around, you'll not regret later missing your 'yesterday's '.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 22 May, 2023 11:44 PM
As an introvert I find making the first move difficult. The traditional man pursues woman mindset will limit your prospects greatly. You are an attractive woman. This can also intimidate men and keep them from approaching you. Today the dating culture is not easy to navigate.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 24 May, 2023 02:18 AM
Thank you to all of you for your answers! Very informative and I will take your advice on just focusing on the here and now until someone maybe pops up in my life.
Guys never show interest in me, what could be the reason
Posted : 24 May, 2023 05:20 PM
Four observations:
01 - Since you're connecting online and dealing only with Christians, the fact of your unwillingness to relocate makes you a) look very independent and potentially somewhat unadaptable, and b) substantially diminishes your search loci. Combine factors of faith, geography, your narrow age bracket, and intellect, and the available field becomes extremely narrow.
02 - What the guy said a couple of posts above is significant. When a lady confidently approaches a man, it's very attractive. Of all the ladies I've communicated with over the last two months, the one who is finally flying over to meet me next week, God willing, approached me with "I think I've found my future husband" in her very first message to me.
03 - Like it or not, if other men are anything like me they want to see a body shot and evidence that you're not letting yourself go. A man wants a woman who he sees as valuable. A lady ought to know herself better than anyone. So, if she doesn't think she's worth taking care of, who is the man to say otherwise?
04 - You semi-successfully downplay your intelligence a little online, but in person, it might be harder to achieve. Your pretty-much perfect spelling, grammar and syntax betrays an IQ that's probably not less than 130. Men like to be able to delude themselves that the lady will think they're smart. That'll be hard with a lady with your IQ. You won't be able to hide your intelligence for long so a more reliable distraction will, perhaps, be humour and lightheartedness. Once a man is encouraged by you long enough to be able to get to know you a bit better he won't be so crestfallen at the otherwise initial realisation that you'll probably be able to see straight through his intellectual deficits.
