Author Thread: what am I doing wrong?
austin93a^

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 30 Jul, 2023 09:16 AM

On paper I have just about everything going good for me. good job, no debt, fat bank account, 6ft, fit, nice, kind, caring, good faith, confidence and all that other good stuff.



But I can't get anyone my own age to even so much as saying hello back, man or woman, not online, not in person, nothing. as you can imagine I got nothing to go on and i'm rather lost here... The people who know me don't get it ether, by their accounts I should have been paired off years ago but I haven't even had a date in 4 years.



i'm really starting to believe God wants me to be alone, but I know I can't handle that so I have to be doing something wrong? or are women and younger people in general just paranoid and antisocial? for context i never had a friend that wasn't 10+ years older then me as everyone my age can't seem to hold a conversation let alone say hi back. any advice?



P.S., please don't tell me to just pray or seek God, my relationship with God isn't the problem... sorry I had to put that there, but thats always seems to be the defaco response to any christian thats struggling with anything... 😆

Post Reply

Moonlight7

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 30 Jul, 2023 01:41 PM

I couldn't say what you are doing wrong.



What I do know is young people are still having dating relationships and getting married.

I know in. Person four" Christian" women under 40 who got married.







It good to not leave God out in anything you do .

Post Reply

austin93a^

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 30 Jul, 2023 02:14 PM

I wish I could say the same. here just about everyone under 40 is single and friendless. But I appreciate the older fiends I do have.

Post Reply

blessedGigi^

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 31 Jul, 2023 10:42 AM

Well, I am no love expert. Maybe most women think there are too many scammers here.



A godly woman would not care too much about your big fat bank account or your good look. Skin deep or material attraction won't last.

That said, this is what my suggestion, put a true picture of you here. When I was active looking, I like to see the picture of the man I am talking to. Not looking for a good looking guy but I need to associate a face to the man I am talking to. Then, start with a friendship, edifying each other and see how God leads. I took my picture down now because it is not necessary anymore.







I fast and pray for my Adam and there is only 1 Adam for this rib. You look for that rib of yours. His timing, His way.

Post Reply

austin93a^

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 31 Jul, 2023 03:16 PM

im not just online, my post apples in person too.



I agree no godly person should care about looks, but i'm confused, if look's don't matter then why would having a photo mater???

as for my account not having photos, I have it set to only show photos to people I message.

Post Reply

HazelEyesSparkle

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 5 Oct, 2023 01:26 AM

That's good

Post Reply

HazelEyesSparkle

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 5 Oct, 2023 01:28 AM

You seem to have great moral standards which is rare to come by these days. One issue is your photo. About 99% of people are not going to respond to an icon. You need to place a picture and a nicely filled profile. If people are not saying hi back, maybe something you are doing. If you are making friends though, maybe you are just more mature than people your age.

Post Reply

Moonlight7

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 5 Oct, 2023 08:12 AM

I have hidden a photo at times because I message Men I want to chat with on this site .



Photos are very important to MOST men on this site.

They will ask a woman for a photo.

lol



Its best to have other Venues.

Post Reply

austin93a^

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 6 Oct, 2023 03:53 AM

photos are not the problem . i had photos publicly posted before and never gotten anyone to reply back and I have the exact same problem in person too. it's just that no one is interested in me. it doesn't matter since I given up in finding anyone. 10 years of trying anything and everything and I had maybe 3 gals my own age talk me and not one date. so why bother if I'm so unlikable no one will talk to me???

Post Reply

HazelEyesSparkle

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 16 Oct, 2023 02:25 PM

So why the lack of a photo now?

Post Reply

Clark0829

View Profile
History
what am I doing wrong?
Posted : 16 Nov, 2023 05:12 PM

Ik this is "ask a girl," but I think I can articulate the photo issue here.



It's not that having a real photo of you either matters or doesn't matter. Having a real photo in your profile matters in some ways and not in others.



When I'm looking at a profile on CDFF, or anywhere else, or even when I'm thinking about a woman I've met in person, my opinion of whether I want to pursue something with her is based on a lot of factors. Are we a similar enough age? Is she single (which isn't a given in person, obviously)? How long has she been a Christian? Do I think we can/could converse well? Do we have many similar interests? And it'd be a lie to say I wasn't factoring in how she looked, too -- but it's not my number one concern.



I'll also say that it's useful to distinguish between evaluating a person's worth based on their looks, and recognizing that a person is valuable regardless of their looks, good or bad. It's okay to say that a member of the opposite sex is very valuable, and also *not* be romantically interested in them.





~~~





So I wrote the above post, but then I checked out Austin's profile and apparently he's hit a low. His last post is on a thread called "I don't belong in this world."



You do, Austin. I've learned that God has us here, right where we are, for a reason. Even when we don't know why life is worth living, we can be sure that while God still lets us live, he knows what he's doing. You're not hopeless, Austin. Can God be your hope even now?

Post Reply