Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 09:24 AM
Wanted to see other Christian views on this subject and any scriptures to back it up would be welcomed. Know someone who is considering doing this cuz God has placed in her heart to have a baby and since there isn't strong Christian man in her life who is interested in marriage she's considering other options..but refuses to get knocked up because she believes in purity until marriage. She want to please God and doesn't want to do anything to dishonor him. All view points wanted regarding this matter. Gbu:-)
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 09:52 AM
That is an interesting question. By the way I think you have a nice profile. Very expressive!
I am not so sure that God' told her to have a baby. Perhaps it is just her overwhelming desire to have one. She should test the spirits against God's word and see if what she is hearing/feeling/sensing lines up with it and with God's character. God instituted marriage and the manner in which he condones for us to "multiply". One man and one woman, in marriage. To just get a "sperm donor" and not have the "father" be an active participant in the rearing of the child, in my opinion, is contrary to what God would want and has designed. I believe she should be patient and find a good man to marry the way God intended.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 10:36 AM
Thankx Walter for ur advice and the warm compliment. I agree that she needs to discern if it's his will or her will. She is looking for husband and believe she will marry soon. This way the baby will have both loving mother and father. If she waits it may be too late for her to have her own biological baby. Ive heard many stories on Focus on family women waiting for God to send her man in 50's and still single with no kids of their own cuz God still hasn't brought him. She doesn't want to be a statistic like that she's in her prime baby producing time and doesn't want it to escape her. Didn'tGod give all this amazing technology so that people who wants babies can have them. I don't believe God would've gave us this technology if he never wanted us to use it. I believe it's a blessing from God. Even Jesus father wasn't Joseph but Jesus was the best man that ever lived and will live. Most men in my friends age group don't want any more kids that's why she's even considering this in first place. Still would love to hear more feedback on this. Gbu:-)
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 10:58 AM
By the way not sure if it makes any difference but she is only considering the anonymous sperm donor route. Anxious to hear any thoughts and wisdom on this subject. Also if it can be proven in scripture that this is sin.?Gbu:-)
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 12:12 PM
dear folks, thumper welcome to the forums..
genesis 3:16 To the woman He said:
"I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you."
ephesians 6:1-4 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: 3 "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
your friend it seems is tryin to bypass the order that GOD set forth in genesis.. that the wife will bring forth children and her desrire will be for her husband.. she wants to forego bein a wife first.. and just have a child out of wedlock.. not wanting a husband first..
GOD always sets forth a proper order to things..
as we can see in ephesians children obey your parents.. its not saying parent.. but yet parents.. and to honor both your father and your mother.. and it also teaches the fathers how to bring up the children.. and what also not to do..
now your friend wants to forego a father... and only seeks a sperm donor, also a anonomys one ...
how can the child then honor their father and mother when they dont even know whom their father is?
and she seeks a man who is not her husband to insert sperm into her from a man who is a stranger and also not her husband ,and one she has no idea whom it is..
conception was meant to be between a husband and a wife during love and intimacy with one another..
you said she wanted to remain pure , i ask you does this sound pure and like what GOD intended?
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 05:33 PM
Hi LadyThumper, :)
I think Cattle gave some good things to think about as well.
Regarding "technology". God gave man the intelligence to grow and learn and be innovative but it doesn't mean that everything man does or makes is approved by God. God's intentions for having children involves both father and mother. It has been proven that when a father is not present in a child's life it affects them a great deal. Dr. Dobson had someone on his show once that stated that homosexuality is directly linked to men who grew up without their father or a had bad relationship with their father. Not that all men turn out that way but it is a common denominator. It really is not fair to a child to grow up with just one parent. That simply is not God's desire.
The question is this.
Does your friend want to submit to God's will or will her own take presidence and is she willing to suffer the consequences if she does not follow God's plan?
Is her desire to have child more important than the child's happiness and well being of having a father to give her that special godly example as a man of God and fatherly love and stability that a woman is not capable of nor was she designed by God to do so?
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 6 Nov, 2009 05:43 PM
Parenting is the toughest job you'll ever love, but I have to agree with Ole Cattle here. Some species are designed to mate and walk away. We are not.
After going through a divorce and raising a child mostly on my own, I can tell you its tough, and it is not the way God designed it to be. So many people today want to lead us to believe that fathers don't matter. Father's do matter. I watched my daughter suffer because her father was more concerned with his next party than with his daughter's life, missing invites to school programs and sporting events for his next opportunity to drink. I watched this damage her.
I also had a father who was emotionally distant. I can see now, years after the damage, where having a father that takes an active role in you life is important.
The strong desire to procreate is part of our design, but these areas where our desires are strong is also where satan will attack us. Especially if he can talk us into believing our desire or path is purposeful and God driven. Often people circumvent obedience in the Word for their own path which seems right, but the Ways of God are not the ways of man, which is why we are given the Word.
I would suggest if your friends desire is that strong then tell her to seek a child in another way, a way that is Godly. Think how many children are out there in foreign orphanages laying in cribs waiting to die because they are girls, or because their families were too impoverished to care for them and left them there with a hope for a better life.
A child like that is better to have one parent over having no parents, and less than a decent chance to even survive. Maybe God's burning desire within her was meant to be fulfilled in a way other than her narrow focus on it.
I often wonder about this with couples that go so far medically for a child "of their own". What do they think adoption is? Not really a child of their own, but a fake child??? A child is always a gift from God, but a bond with a child that you save from a life of heartache to give a good life to, well, really I know first hand when you save someone from a tragedy, it really does create a bond no one else can fathom.
Has she considered being a foster parent? There are children in her own community that could benefit from all that love inside her. I think it is important to care for God's children first, and you never know, in the midst of that, she may just meet her future husband.
I truly believe God gives us husbands before He intends us to begin families. It is His natural order.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 8 Nov, 2009 09:33 PM
What does my friend do if she waits...waits.....waits some more and he never comes and it gets too late for her to have her own biological kid? I appreciate all your wisdom and spiritual knowledge but don't see anything stating it's a sin to want the experience to have her own baby from her and experience the pregnancy and labor and delivery stages. The Bible says to be fruitful and multiply. There are way more women than men in the world and even less percentage of men who are true Christians, then if you narrow down the true Christians to men left who aren't divorced then ur chances of getting married before 90 are pretty slim to none. So figure she either has to lower her standards and marry a man who's not a Christian which is a black and white sin or do the Sperm Donor which is far better pathway. There is nothing evil about wanting to sacrifice your life for a precious baby that's a blessing for the Mom and the baby and to be able to give that precious baby all that love uv been storing inside for so long. Still not seeing the bible being clear on if this is right or wrong 100%.
I see anonymous sperm donor is a gift from God to righteous women who love Jesus for them to be fruitful and multiply innocently and be able to embrace their love and motherly nurturing abilities upon. I believe he wouldn't put that desire in their heart to have a baby if he never intended them to. I believe God knows there are a shortage of Godly men more strong Christian women out there than men so he had to find away to answer the prayer requests of all these righteous women who have been praying for years for a husband and kids and this is his answer this is his gift this is a way she can have a baby and not lose her purity in the process. See women of faith who pray God answers and sometimes it's different his answer than the way you first imagined if.
This mother would love her baby so much more than the knocked up baby
moms who just wanted sex and not the responsibility of a baby along with
it. I pray for the knocked up moms that Jesus let's them comprehend how
blessed they are to be given a little baby. God can turn any bad situation
into good.
If a girl was a virgin when she had this procedure done then she'd still be a
virgin after the procedure so u can't get any purer than that. She's not
committing fornication. God wants us to accept help when it's offered
whether it's chemo for cancer, fertility drugs for couples who can't have kids
and pace makers to keep ur heart pumping. Any technology that is here is
from God cuz God gave the man or woman the brain to make it. The man
can't do anything of or by himself. God first created the man with the brain that thought up the technology. I know there are many kids in single family
homes if loved and trained up in the ways of the Lord can be normal and
healthy. Probably many are right here on this very website who never knew
their biological father and turned out fine. A real father isnt someone who is
biological a real father is someone who loves....nourishes....cherishes and
trains him up in the ways of the Lord. Just cuz there are two parents doesn't
mean the kid is going to turn out right....remember Ted Bundy and many
others?? Besides she will find a man to marry and screen him to make sure
he'll be a good father to her child that's still in her plan. She won't settle for
less than God best. My friend wants a husband first she's considering this
as her last option since she's tried everything else first. She can't kidnap a
true Christian man and make him marry her now can she......heeeheeee....don't give us girls any ideals kidding. Once again appreciate all ur views, opinions on this touchy subject. God Bless all u good people.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 9 Nov, 2009 03:36 PM
Lady,
What you are talking about is a dilemma. Scripture dose not speak directly to this issue as the ability was not available at that time. You could probably find Scripture that implys or infers, but there really is none that speaks directly to the issue.
One thing to consider is that the identity of the "donor," may never be known, depriving the child of an awareness of his or her own lineage. This can mean a lack of knowledge of health problems or dispositions toward health problems which could be inherited. It could lead to half brothers and sisters marrying one another, because neither knew that the sperm which engendered their lives came from the same "donor."
The Church has great compassion for those who yearn for childern. Out of love for all human life and respect for the integrity of marital relations, however, the Church teaches that some means of trying to achieve pregnancy are not licit and therefore Immoral. Some of these means actually involve the taking of innocent human life (IVF), or treating human life as a means toward an end or a "manufactured product." They do violence to the dignity of the human person.
In America we have a tendency to think that we can solve all problems with the right "technology." But children are not engendered by technology or produced by an industry. Children should arise from an act of love between a husband and wife, in cooperation with God. No human being can "create" the image of God. That is why we say that human beings "procreate" with God. Engendering children is a cooperative act among husband, wife, and God himself. Children, in the final analysis, should be begotten not made.
There are many women (and Men) today raising childern alone -- they need our prayers and support. I don't think that God wants another one
Is Adoption an alternative? I am not that familiar with adoption. I feel for your friend's plight and I wish I had the answer she would like to hear.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 10 Nov, 2009 05:05 AM
I don't care how much love you have in your heart as a parent, the one thing you absolutely cannot be to your child is the parent you area not. I saw first hand how damaging this is and it truly is heart breaking. I honestly believe if I would have cut off one of her limbs, she would have found it less painful than to be "without" every time her friends were spending time with their Dads, like father daughter dances or having a Dad stand up and cheer when you do something wonderful in sports.
Sure I was there, I was always there. Sure I was proud of her, I was so very, very proud of her. I sacrificed, but do you know what she truly wanted?? Her DAD. I cannot be her Dad. I tried to be all things to her, but no matter how hard a woman tries, she cannot be a Dad to that child and it hurts. It hurt them and it is truly painful to watch.
At least if you adopt a child that is likely to die in an orphanage because they were born the wrong gender, you know that you gave life to a child that would have been forsaken by mankind.
Why is it so very important this child be biological? I have never quite understood that. Is an adopted child somehow less "YOURS"?
Your friend thinks she has all this love to give and that is wonderful, but why would she want her child to be born less privileged? Robbing you own child of a father that is there for you to grow up with on purpose is just as bad as if you strike that child regularly, for there will be a hole there that you cannot file.
Dads stand up, you know this is true, for Fathers cannot be Mothers either. God's design is perfect. Not all of us are intended to bare our own children. After all, who will take care of the orphaned children? I can see that being God's Will, but having a fatherless child on purpose seems completely against God's design. If you child knows they have no father because you felt a need to save them and give them a life and if you would have waited for that father, they would have perished, then you have given a child the gift of life.
Something about trusting a medical procedure and a sperm donor over the Will of a Powerful and Almighty God who can do ALL THINGS, seems self centered, and self serving.
I think you are looking for validation more than guidance. If that is the case, and opinion poll will never change the Will of an unchanging God. If the Lord intended us to be fruitful and multiply without both a father and a mother, then He would not have made it necessary or given us so much guidance on marriage. We would be able to produce without mating if having both parents was not part of His design.
You know satan uses our strongest desires against us all the time. That is definitely something your friend needs to think about because babies are little and cute and wonderful and then they start to cut teeth and you don't get any sleep, and there is no one there to help you when you truly need sleep more than you have ever needed it, and you have to go to work too, because you are the only bread winner, and trust me, all that is really easy next to when they get to be teens and they need a babysitter worse then when they were two. No one that has not walked this road can ever know how very tough it is and when there is not another person to hold you up, to lift you up, to help you, to pray with you. The toughest job you'll ever love is tough enough for two parents, for one it is unimaginable, which is why the Lord created families in a perfect design. Having children alone is not a perfect design and in a world gone mad, raising a child alone will be so much tougher than it was when my marriage broke up.
If my words are true, would there not be great suffering? You think the love is worth it, and as a parent, it is, but for your child, that is really a pretty self centered decision. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but if I would have known the painful childhood she would endure when her father decided his life was more important than hers, I do not know that I would have put her through that, and I believe it is no better for a son.
To rescue a child from dying is one thing, but to knowingly sentence them to a fatherless existence, that is cruel. Fathers matter so much, and your friend cannot be one.
Is it wrong biblically for a woman to get a sperm donor?
Posted : 10 Nov, 2009 10:00 AM
Hello LadyThumper!! :waving:
There are SO many things to consider in this situation!!
Tarasye explained many about a fatherless child, and from a chid who's father wasn't around much, she is absolutely right!! Listen to her words, please!
What about when the child gets older and starts attending school? Children are mean to other children, especially when differences are pointed out. Has your friend thought about the pain her child would suffer when he/she is made fun of for not having a father? How will your friend explain, or give advice about marriage and relationships and things like that when she is ignorant of them?
It concerns me when you say that all technology is from God for I believe some of it is, but all of it is not. Stop and think for a moment about all the bad things there are in this world. Isn't the antichrist supposed to use technology, such as implanting a chip in our hands? What about the technology to perform abortions? God would give us no such thing. There are too many to list.
Whether we can or cannot use a sperm donor is not specifically in the Bible, but adoption is!! Think about baby Moses.
God has given us a perfect plan and it is laid out clearly in the Bible. To me, anything against it is not from Him.
Now, I will speak to you on a more personal level. I am 30 years old and I am unwed and I would LOVE to have a child someday. The desire to have a child is HUGE in my heart. However, just as I know that God will give me the husband that He knows I need, He will give me a child with that man. I have prayed many times that if it's not His will for me to have a child, then take that desire out of my heart. It is still there. Wanting a wonderful Christian family is my hearts desire....mine. It might not be His. So, this is the time for your friend and I to put OUR desires behind us and pray for God's Will to be done in our lives. Because no matter what we THINK would be the best for us, God KNOWS what the best for us is, we just have to trust Him and have faith that He will see us through.
