Hey first off if you're reading this you're probably not one of the women doing this.. but if you are I got something to share with you..
I've been on this website for quite awhile and talked to the girls and guys.. and I have my own experiences here.. if you want a guy that is a good guy pay attention.
1. If you go to a guy's profile and you like him.. wink at him at least.. yes I know you think men should chase you down and slay the dragon.. and I agree... but remember we've never met you and know nothing about you.. also, if you don't wink or msg we assume you are not interested.
2. If we do happen to wink at you to see if you are interested.. don't go into some self righteous.. he didn't message so he's not a real man.. wink back if you're interested.
3. If we do happen to message you and put ourselves out there and you are interested.. write back an engaging email.. something to talk about.. don't write back one sentence replies.. we assume you're not interested! Yes, the man is the leader, but we don't know anything about you.. and quite frankly if you're worth chasing yet. Be willing to put forth some effort.
4. If we write you a quick email or something and we're the ones writing to you.. odds are that we have been messaging a lot of girls who have either not written back on longer emails or wrote back short silly replies to longer emails.. so if we are messaging you and it's quick.. don't assume it means we are uninteresting or boring.. write back something interesting and test the waters before you decide that.
5. If you're not interested in a guy.. don't write back anything at all.. don't respond to winks.. or you could even write back and say what it was that didn't interest you! Novel idea I know, but as Christians why don't we help each other out.. just don't write back out of pity.. if you write a short reply.. thinking men will get the hint.. well we do, but we think either a. she's not into us which is likely.. b. we didn't ask her something interesting enough which is possible.. c. she is just scared to put her heart out there so we gotta get to know her more.. d. she just isn't very interesting and we have to pick up the slack.. so if you're not interested let us know.. sure it sucks at first, but it's a lot better than wasting our time with a girl that doesn't like us because we don't ski or something.
And if you have any advice for men on profiles, things to lead emails with to get you to feel comfortable and talkative, things that turn you off quickly, or your own experiences.. feel free to share them we are all Christians who love one another here.
Hmm, maybe I came across as hostile. Sorry about that.. :)
Uhm, well.. when I said if you're reading this you're probably not doing it.. I didn't intend to come across as bitter.. as I'm certainly not.
I guess I came across incorrectly.. in essence I meant to say, that for women who are serious they should respond to guys who they find interesting.. even if they "wink" or just send a short statement.. only because the onus on men to always approach doesn't help either sex.
For instance a guy writes a long thought out letter to let's say 10 different women.. and 1 responds, but says something very short and doesn't give much to feedback on.. I'm sure you've been in these convos before, with the one word replies.. not very much fun :)
So back to our eager bachelor after this happens, the guy decides he will write less and wink.. just to see who is even interested in him through his pics and profile.. then when a woman responds.. he will be more engaging.. make sense? Anywayss... it was just an open letter to women because I've talked to many women on here who were doing the exact opposite and didn't like the results. So, I offered my opinion.. if you like your results so far, then I guess this isn't a letter for you and more power to you :).
As far as the Archimedes guy, yeah he rubbed me the wrong way.. if you felt his comments were constructive well.. to each their own.. no problems. Maybe, I overreacted wouldn't be the first time and probably not the last :)
I completely agree with you. Who say the guy always have to take the lead. Not saying the girl needs to be pushy and overbearing but there is nothing wrong in letting a guy know you are interested by a wink and a little message. If two people are compatable and like each other, conversations usually flow naturally but first there has to be an intial contact.
Be yourselves people. Yes it good to express that you love God after all that is why you join this site (or that should be the reason) but no need to be overally dramatic but placing God/Jesus in every other word and every single sentence, that just makes you come off as fake and unrealistic.
And its ok if someone writes/wink you and you're not interested. Afterall not everybody is for everybody. You are trying to find that special one right? Trust you heart and God.
As a guy I just wanted to say thanks for someone caring enough to take the time out of there day to try to offer some helpful advice. I think some good points have been made but I would tend to agree with thee initial author. I think some of the rest of you are seriously over analyzing things. God is in control. Theres no perfect formula so don't critisize someone who is trying to help. I would also like to appologize on behalf of the male gender for those men who have given you bad impressions and ask that you please be patient with the rest of us. There really are some of us that are aspiring to be Christ like and are sincere. Thank you for your time.
first off kudos to you chris bc you've got quite a hot topic here. lol. lots of people wanna know what ya think which is pretty cool.
just my thoughts though for these ladies who are "shy"...its online dating girls...its not like when you see someone and can give flirty looks to let a guy know you like or are interested in him. life's not a story book...sometimes You gotta go looking for the Knight. Besides its not like you can embarass urself on here by tripping while walking up to him lol. so stop batting your eyes to the computer screen and click on the little "wink" button or start typing! lol.
This is really good! Thanks for putting this up Chris!!! In all honesty, I probably wouldn't do everything here, but I'll be better at some... Sometimes it is difficult to write back an engaging email to someone who just sent you a one or two-liner message out of the blues.... but it can be done!
I find this forum very interesting!. Therefore, I can say that it really depends on the person's culture, faith and the way they were brought up at home.
You seem kind of famous to me on these dating sites like some sort of celebrity. I almost want to meet you just to get your autograph. You seem like you try to have fun in life. Keep trucking!
Hello all..:) Just have a scripture to share! Use it to the glory of God..:) Think about the last six words in the verse, they are what I wanted to bring to everyones attention...:)
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. Genesis 2:22
Grace and Peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ!
I like this method!....I think that girls should be more like this,unless of course they are indeed overly aggressive,or masculine type girls....but sometimes if a woman approaches it can mean that she is so interested in a guy that she couldnt help it...."-....:]
