Okay, I've never been a big dater. I've gone out on a handful or so in my life. Always had jobs with low(or no) numbers of people, don't really do the bar scene aside from going out with friends, and always moved around a lot, so my dating experience is pretty low. I'm kinda afraid that my lack of experience may cause me to lose out on a connection by me either taking it too fast or too slow... or not knowing what to do when.
I've read some dating advice online, but its usually for more traditional (non-online) dating and usually based on more... shall we say, secular dating.
What are people's experience? Should I just not worry about it? Maybe I'm just nervous...
The best way to meet someone is to get involved in things you enjoy....church, interest groups like hiking, bicycling, sports, etc. The bar scene is NOT a good place to meet someone. I taught classes at a Christian pregnancy center on Dating Relationships. As a Christian, you want to meet someone who is also a Christian. Not to say you can't have non-Christian friends but if you are dating for the reason of marriage down the road, it is important to be on the same page.
Once you meet someone, take your time. Enjoy the flirting (not teasing) and friendship without pressure. Enjoy discovering who the person is inside. Get to know the person's family, friends. Observe how she treats people, how she interacts with others. Is she carrying alot of "baggage" around that needs to be worked on before a relationship takes place? Does she value who she is, precious in His sight...comfortable with herself? These are important because sometimes guys/girls think someone can "fix" them and make them feel whole.
I'm learning that online dating is a whole new set if tires (if you know what I mean).
It is nothing like dating in the "real" world.
Here online people can hide behind keyboards or monitors and present whatever "image" they wish to project and you won't really have an "honest" idea until you meet them in person.
You can still get a fairly good idea of whom they are through emails and phone conversations and if they post on the forum you will have a more in depth look at them and what they believe in.
Hmm well, I actually have something that is about to move out of the online sphere, which is why I posted. I agree with the previous poster, I don't really have any desire to date non-christian women, and I don't go to bars to meet them either. Really, I've been to about 3 bars in my life, and I always go with friends, and I never get intoxicated.
I was more referring to the general rules of "real life" dating I read, like waiting for three days before calling, although I suppose I broke that one already, heh. I could list a bunch more, but many clash with each other. Obviously some do not apply to the Christian dating scene, which makes me wonder about the others or if they are just bad advice in general.
My sons are your age so I understand where you are coming from somewhat. There is a lot of secular advice out there. Be careful and really think "Is this something pleasing to God" or is it of man?" Stand strong in Christ as you go into a relationship. Pray for His discernment. Don't rush, even if she wants you to. She will respect you for really caring about quality time with her. Don't be anxious about anything but entrust all to Him!
