How much of my past experiences, past history, past life am I to share with a potential partner with just knowing them for 1 month???
I do have a past. A dark side that I am not proud of.
2 failed marriages, a criminal record, and afew other past issues that I have yet to share with the potential partner.
And because I had'nt shared ALL my past life within 30 days, she now believes that I've been lieing to her, playing mind games etc...
And to share parts of this in the open with all you. It does'nt matter to me anymore. I've already been judged & convicted and served my sentence. Christ has forgiven me and has allowed me to move-on with my life.
Its a shame that some people can't see it that way.
I wish all of you the Best and hope that you all find what your seeking.
As for me; I give up trying to find someone. If she's interested, she'll contact me.
dear randy, i think you have a good side to ya too there.
youve always been honest and upfront with me and i can appreciate that quality in you. i think you really care about people. i believe you got a good heart..
you may of made some mistakes in your past .. as you stated youve paid the price and been forgiven ..
you had no problem telling all of us here so im wonderin why you didnt feel ok to just tell her like you did us..
is it because you really care about her? thatd be my guess.
Hey Randy.... sorry for how things have turned out with the potential partner. I have to say revealing is often not easy trying to decide when is that right time to share with the person-- not just the bad, but the good stuff too. Especially if you really care, and don't want to risk losing the person. You are right, each of us has a past and difinitely stuff we hide or not necessarily proud of, but I think you, we can never lose when we are transparent in sharing. The timing.... well, I can't say to tell all as soon as you meet the person, or one month later, or wait till the proposal. It's different in each situation I think.
I do know that I have been burnt by a scammer just this week, and it'd only been a couple weeks communicating. I thought the person was ok, and I started revealinig bits and pieces about myself, you know, a little about my life, but low and behold the last email communication, just didn't seem right, so I checked it out, and the person wasn't real, but a scammer. It's also times like this where telling "everything" about you can hurt you rather than help you or the relationship. If you don't match to whatever they think you got or potential you have, then whatever truth about you you want to reveal, they drop you like a hot potato, and often all they need is that little something to not reveal who "they" really are. So, it's two ways to look at it all.
I'm finding it's a lot of cruel and evil people roamiing these sites, and they are pretty dog-gone slick Willies and Wilmas that will be more than glad to take is slow with us knowing for some, the slower it takes, a guarenteed given to reel us in. That's the bad part, because we do become vulnerable the more we trust a person is real with us, and believe they are being honest when actuality they aren't.
After going through my little ordeal, I just have to be still, and a lilttle more cautious. People are looking for different things out here in this cyber world. Don't lose heart Randy, and I know that's easier said than done. We all got a past, and it's definitely going to take the power of the Holy Spirit to lead us into when to tell, and when to wait before exposing the intimate parts of our lives to our "potentials".
Just don't lose the "you" that you are now. You've grown from who you used to be so no regressing. Take care.
Randy, I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences.
I don't think there is an easy way or a "formula" for sharing the things you talked about. I do know it gets a bit easier the more you do share. You get a feel for when to share and when to not, and how to insert things into the conversation.
I'm not sure what to say, except that if you are getting to know someone online (i.e. not on the phone or in person) then you need to be cautious and slow about sharing. It is just good common sense.
Hang in there, Randy. God loves you, all of you, all the time. Keep searching and hang tight to God.
Ouch man!!!! I gotta say, it'd take me a lot longer than a month to get comfortable enough to completely "come clean" with someone. Just because you don't talk about something, doesn't mean you're trying to hide it!!!
