Actually - that happens both ways. A lot of men get the same thing from a lot of women here. I don't know all the reasons either. I agree - I've met a lot of fine ladies here and had some wonderful conversations that have been very beneficial; and yet even if I may find them attractive, it's not going to go beyond friends.
there's more to it than you're thinking though; sometimes its that someone is here only find a mate, and if you're not it, they don't want a pen pal or spend time talking with something they're not going to be involved with.
Or sometimes they're just too busy doing something else, or...
There's lots of reasons I'm sure - try not to take it too personal. We all experience this.
I agree Tessa, however, there's also the communication factor. I said this elsewhere, so I won't go repeating long details.
In fact, it's been humbling that I've had several ladies go out of their way to tell me they thought I was a sweet, funny guy.
Yet, here I am 40 years old, never been married though I wanted to be - why did I strike out? Mostly my horrible communication skills. by that I mean how I presented myself in word and body language - it scared ladies off, making them think I was "unreachable" or "not interested," etc...
So here, we have profiles. Getting feedback on the profiles helps us to c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e and present ourselves better, more accurately. I really appreciated the feedback I got on my profile, it helped me a lot. Even my photos, I blew it on those; the brutal honesty from others here was really helpful, because (once again) my PHOTOS conveyed messages that I didn't even think were there.
Ah, but it's a tough call; a lot of people very innocently pitch their email addresses - sometimes even first contact. There are limitations to the communication here, and you have to log on in order to read the email, etc...
For example, in a couple of days, I'll be on the road and I have NO idea when I'll have internet again. When I do, it may be on a borrowed computer, so I'll be accessing my email, but obviously - I won't be visiting christian dating sites on someone else's computer.
The other thing to do is go get a free gmail account devoted JUST for things like giving out your email address here. First, it helps you keep conversations from here separate from your private email so you can keep track of it all, secondly, if there's abuse of your email address, so what? It's a throw-away account.
If you haven't done that already, I'd suggest it: gmail.com
Ah - understandin ya now. Yeesh. Seeing as how I'm horribly distracted by some lady all the time (I've usually got a "crush" going for someone!), it's annoying - because I agree; it IS distracting!
here I am, trying to focus on praying or reading - and it's bad enough that I'm ADHD somethin' fierce... oh look, my sunglasses..
...what was I saying? Oh - ya, ADHD something fierce, and also OCD (in a good way, as long as it's in submission to Christ), all of this causing me to lose focus on my Creator King, and get focused on a lady.
It's difficult; BUT; it's going to happen no matter what. Paul was clear about this and why singleness is better than marriage - but most will be married, which is still a very good thing. But, having a spouse/lover will distract you from the Lord; there's nothing you can do about that, it's right and proper (so that you make sure you minister properly to your spouse) and not only does God already know you're going to do this - He created marriage in the first place!
So does the relationship bring glory and honour to Christ? That is the ultimate question (just read that this afternoon).
struggling with a lot of these same things lately, especially after meeting a "potential" and getting kinda focused again - really distracting.
And the funny thing is - Lynn even has it written right on her profile (and I quote)
"If you're a scammer, please, by all means email me. I would love to waste your time to keep you from harassing women that would actually fall for that sort of thing."
Lynn, please - I'm trying to eat my dinner (yes, at the computer) and I keep choking on it because I'm so hard! :ROFL:
Tristan (Alex) has been an encouragement to so many people on here. Even when he was in a relationship, he still attended the boards and threw in his two cents, giving of himself for others, despite being a single Dad. He still took the time (between confiscating toothpaste from the 3year old and confiscating the deoderant from the 5 year old) to write here and be a mentor to many who've needed an encouraging word.
so hard.