Sorry to hear you're not getting many responses - although everyone is pretty much getting that.
And by the way - you go girl! That's the way to do it - post like mad and see if you can get any takers.
Quick question: On the emails you sent, if you look in your inbox, you can see if they were read or not. Have they been read?
I sent out a pile of emails which got no response because the people hadn't been on line - they've basically abandoned the site, their profile is still here, but they are not :-(
You don't have to pay here to read an email. There's a couple of things going on:
1) you have your "mail settings" on your profile set to 50 to 65; this means that NOONE (like myself, or Elisee, or any of the other ladies, or anyone wanting to engage in friendly chat) can email you UNLESS they are between 50 and 65. The system prohibits them from doing this.
Change this to "any age" and instead, write in your profile what age bracket you're open to.
2) You also have "Must not smoke" set in your mail settings, which again does not allow many people to email you even if they just wish to be your friend. I had this too, and then found out what it was doing - turn that restriction off and instead, write something in your profile like "I will not date a smoker, but if you want to be friends, by all means email me." or something like that.
The instant messenger sometimes works, sometimes doesn't - it could be a pop-up blocker somewhere on your computer - but you might want to do what some have done, and write on your profile that you can't receive instant messages; it aint working.
Actually, that's been a bit of a frustration for me. There's been humorous (is that how you speel humorous?)...er funny stories from that; when I was teaching at the high school, we got two new teachers, ladies - both about 30 and they both looked 15. It was trippy to go down crowded halls of students and see this "15 year old" barking out orders to out-of-line students!
While age is just a number in many ways, this can be a sensitive subject and has led to severe heartache for me. On other websites like Christiancafe, they put you into age groups (i.e., 31 to 35). There's 30 year olds who have no problem dating a 40 year old, and then there's 38 year olds who want someone 37 to 39; and they don't write any of this on their profile (including their age); so I have to first of all guess what their age is, and then guess what their age group would be. There's lots of 35 year olds who have no problem dating a 40 year old like myself; but this lady I'm trying to write to could be 31 - I dunno cause she didn't write it in!
I'm grateful they specify the age of the person here, and if I can make a recommendation ladies, specify on your profiles what age group you would be open to.
One lady I was absolutely crazy about in Texas a few years back (I was 37 at the time I think), I met her down there and we corresponded a lot and talked on the phone and I was really hopeful. She would NOT tell me her age, but I figured "Ah, she's just being coy - y'know, never ask a woman her age." I figured she was probably early 30's (and so did everyone else, by the way she looked, dressed, behaved, etc...)
She was everything I looked for - I mean, wow! And she was interested in me for a change!
Then finally her mother let the cat out of the bag one day - this girl was 21. I was devastated; what would my church think? What would my Pastor think? What would my parents and friends think?
This is a public forum, so I won't go into all of the heartbreaking details and the long story. I'm still licking my wounds from that one. Even though in the end I wound up being open to the relationship (and all my counselors even unanimously said there was no problem with it - if she was interested, and her parents approved, and she was as mature as I said she was, then what was the problem?) let's just say that the option got taken away from me anyway.
I've been very sensitive to the age thing, this just made it worse.
Hey thanks for sharing squirrel, and welcome to the forums. It's often surprising how a story like this, shared here, will minister to someone in an unexpected way, just sharing a story - so thanks for sharing.
Well Adam, all I can say is "Ouch!" Thanks for sharing - and venting. Hey, I know it's cold comfort, but remember first that we are all striking out (yup, every one of us). In fact, I think I'll put up a post elsewhere on that subject.
Please don't give up. and Kudos to you for sticking to your guns on sexual immorality.
But let me get this straight: You're only 22? You've got LOTS of time man; relax a little bit. I'm 40, and I've wanted to be married all this time. I know how ya feel!
You did the right thing posting here on the forums though - post lots.
Hey - are you on other christian dating sites as well? FOr me, they are perfect because I live in the boondocks of Canada where really, there are very, very few women to pick from. I suspect you're probably in the same situation?
And yes, we all send emails to people and get no responses; there's a variety of reasons for this - it's not always that they've not interested, but out of probably a dozen or so that I sent, I've only gotten replies (all of them "sorry, not interested") for about two of them. All the others never even wrote back, and it's the same for the women too I hate to say it.
So what I'm saying is that it's just par for the course here. Keep your chin up, and keep trying. I know it's tough, but what little experience I've had, it seems to be the same in "real life" anyway.
I found out something more this past week about Christiancafe - I had written a lady there, waited a week for a response. She never got on line. Then I figured out - "Oh, it's because her free trial expired."
So ya, people get on there for the free trial, and when it is expires, they can't even log on, let alone read the emails you sent them.
However - they did one thing smarter than CM; they give you the opportunity to buy someone else a subscription. There's been once or twice now where I wanted to do that, so it was nice to see that.
It was still seriously irritating though, because now my long list of interestees just got a whole lot shorter, because if they haven't been on line in the past TEN DAYS then they are probably on the free trial which has expired.
Anyway - some more info I discovered on my drive out here.
I sent your elephant killing mokele mbembe story to a bunch of friends. at least a few of them were shocked and saddened - they didn't get it. One wrote back "What are you doing sending out such sad stories? Have you gone daft?"
I wrote him back, said "It was a joke Joe, just a joke. Mokele Mbembe isn't a real person, there is no elephant, it was just a joke."
He wrote back saying "Oh. Okay, but don't be telling stories like that around the girls."
"I got it from a girl!!!"