Yep--this topic comes up fairly often. Like anything else in life you can choose to look at it negatively or NOT. Thau--while you may think it good manners to respond to every single email or every wink you receive. Just as many people feel the opposite and they, like you-- have their reasons for thinking and feeling as they do.
You need to know something right off the bat, just because you write to someone --and you don't hear back from them--if they have not accessed your email at all, chances are they have not logged into this site in awhile. You may be writing to a profile that is no longer viable. There is no way to know that here if a profile has not been active in awhile. So why you may be thinking it rude of someone not to even read your email--they may not even be an active member here to know they have mail.
Also, I think the second most common reason why women do not respond to emails AFTER they have actually read the email sent them--is basically a fear of reprisal. So often women have stated here in the forums that they had gotten email from someone not of interest to them. Instead of just ignoring the email they respond with a courteous reply that amounted to "thanks but no thanks". You would think this would be the end of it -- however many many many women have said that upon responding with a NO THANK YOU, BLESS YOU IN YOUR SEARCH--they get another email from the guy berating or chastising them for not responding with favorable interest. Women have said it happens to them so much that they have stopped responding altogether to any mail they get unless they DO have an interest.
I, for one don't blame women for not responding to email. I just assume if they have an interest they WILL respond, just as a non-response is till in fact a response. A non-response lets me know two things--either she read my email and was not interested or she never received it in he first place.
To that end--participation on a site like this you isn't going to work for you if you have really thin skin and are sensitive to the merest appearance of being slighted. I don't focus on the small disappointments on this site, instead I choose to focus on the positive people I have contact with and opportunity for new forging new relationships.
What should i do, my bf's mom wants him to convert to muslim?
Posted : 23 Oct, 2011 12:12 PM
I read your other forum post -- that along with this one reads to me as if you're trying to put a square peg into a round hole and it's not working for you. You are struggling with wanting a relationship with a man that may or may not be the ideal choice for you and rather than to let the relationship go you are struggling with huge issues that could impact your life forever should you continue on your present course. I think you need to really think and pray about what it is you want out of life and the type of relationship you want and the type of man you want to devote your entire life to. If life with this man is not everything you want or is forcing you to compromise other areas of your life important to you, like your religious walk--is this something you can truly give up for any one man--would you really be happy doing so long term and forever?
Could you be happy with a Muslim--Would he be accepting of you as a non-Muslim or would you need to convert as well. Could you be happy denying the very faith that defines you as a daughter of God? Could you be happy helping raise a child not your own--are you willing to put behind you any jealousies and work to the greater good of bring that child up properly--and are you willing to put yourself in a position whereby you will have to deal with that child's mother either directly or indirectly for years to come. Also, are you strong enough to deal with her impact and that of her child on your relationship and or eventual marriage with they guy?
Lastly - his mother obviously has a lot of influence over him still. If you marry this guy--will she take a back seat to your place beside your husband or will she still try to steer your life from the back seat? Is this man strong enough to stand up to her or anyone else for that matter that would seek to influence him regarding the choices in life he makes--
As forum responders we should not seek to direct you as to what to do--what choices to make. That alone is your decision. I would strongly suggest you think long and hard about the direction your life will take should you continue to see this man and eventually marry him. Ask yourself if your love for him is strong enough to to withstand the changes YOU will need to make to become one with him. I see all the concessions on your part and very little on his.
The confusion you are now dealing with--is your own way of letting you know that maybe this isn't something you should be pursuing because it's not making you entirely happy and is causing you to second guess what it is you want. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting your dilemma here in the forums--if you were entirely happy with this man or the situation you have found yourself in this wouldn't be an issue for you.
That alone should tell you, you need to listen to your inner voice. You might find if you really sit and ask yourself some of the questions posed above that this relationship isn't something you really want-- or you may find it is and thinking about it clearly will give you the validation you seek.
Keep in mind you are only 22 years old. Stop a moment and think about what it is you want out of a relationship that leads to marriage and what you are willing to be accepting of -- unconditionally. God places us in situations to challenge and teach us if we are open to allowing him to work in our lives. Best of luck to you.
Wine had a number of uses in biblical times including being used as a disinfectant to clean wounds, also as a means to safely hydrate. There were not many beverages safe to drink. Water carried bacteria and contaminants and was unsafe for drinking unless it came from a fresh spring, and the milk supply was limited. Additionally making water safe to drink was time consuming. The safest way in which to make water safe to drink was mixing it with wine.
It is an historic fact that the word "wine" was used for both alcoholic and non-alcoholic wine in Bible times. The differentiation between types of wine is also clearly delineated in the Bible. Bad wine is always intoxicating and it is attributed to violence (Proverbs 4:17; 23:29-30), self-security and ungodliness (Isaiah 28:7; 56:12; Habakkuk 2:5), and is poisonous and destructive (Proverbs 23:31). It is also significantly emblematic of punishment and eternal ruin. (Revelation 14:10; 16:19, Isaiah 51:17, Jeremiah 25:15, etc.).
Good wine is to be presented to God at the altar as an offering to Him. (Numbers 18:12; Nehemiah 10:37,39; 13:5, 13). It is also referred to as part of the blessing and basic provisions of life. And of course good wine is emblematic of the blood of the atonement, whereby we receive the forgiveness of sins and eternal blessing � the opposite of the emblem of bad wine. (Matthew 26:26-28; 1Corinthians 10:16). The two types of wine represented in the bible are Yayin - which is fermented (bad) wine and Tiyrowsh which is the unfermented wine of God, good wine.
Lastly, wisdom dictates that the use of alcohol can be a serious personal nightmare to those who abuse it. We are admonished to be wise regarding alcohol; "Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit." Ephesians 5:17-18 (NKJV)
If you hear back from him -- he's interested. If you don't -- he's not. Common sense would dictate if he's read your email and has not responded and never responds...HE'S NOT INTERESTED! :bow:
hmmm...back on topic? I don't believe the topic is what kind of body shape you prefer in a woman MiracleManiac -- :ROFL: The topic is who should make the first contact the male or the female. Since you aren't capable of getting back on topic, I will.
Overall, I don't think it matters who makes the first contact. Though I too was raised with a more traditional view of male and female roles, I'm not so steeped into tradition that I wouldn't look favorably upon a female that makes the first move by winking or messaging me. The only way I would actually begin to think a woman is too pushy or too forward would be if she did in fact bring her interest to my attention and I declined that interest as not mirroring my own and then if she kept on contacting me. Women are pretty savvy individuals and in my experience they usually don't waste their time barking up the wrong tree -lol. There are of course exceptions to that rule. Stalkers come in both genders.
Statie. So are you telling me looks are not important to you. Ya sure. The reason I make a point of stating that men are visual is that apparently there are a whole lot of women on this site who don't get that. I got no game for people like you Statie. You've got a lot of nerve. And you statements aren't cute or funny just because you put a :ROFL: And you do not have a clue what kind of man - a lot of that probably has to do with the fact that you are Catholic. Grow the Heck up!
*********************************************
Yes MircaleManiac I appreciate a good looking woman as well as the next guy does. The difference though between myself and someone like YOU -- I don't focus solely on their looks and I certainly don't continuously harangue women in the forums by demanding they post full body shots -- lol. I would certainly never make negative personal comments to a female wearing form fitting clothing in one of her pics nor would I suggest that by doing so she was intentionally being provocative.
Yes you make a point of stating men are visual -- but the last time I looked--most women have two eyes as well and are just as visual as men. You think I don't have a clue as to who you are -- lol. I got news for you MiracleManiac - you aren't that hard to read and if I can see it those visual women can see it too. :ROFL:
The reason I ignore messages from men I'm not interested in
Posted : 13 Oct, 2011 07:45 PM
"You're not the kind of man I'm looking for" is almost identical as "I don't think we will make a good match".
***************************************
They are NOT the same thing at all -- lol. While they invariably lead the reader to the same rejection, the former places a negative connotation on the shoulders of the rejectee while the latter is more ambiguous and comes across far less harsh. If you seriously cannot tell the difference Cuddle I would suggest you stick to my earlier suggestion. A NON-RESPONSE is still a response. :ROFL:
MiracleMan--it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the type of man you are. YOU make that very clear. YOU are all about the VISUAL. Your repeated posts condemning women for not showing full body shots and yet you post no such picture of your own. These comments of yours seems to sum you up in a nutshell, "I have zero interest until I know what a lady looks like. I'm usually also not going to be very interested if I can not see in at least a general way what her figure looks like." -- MiracleMan
Some men actually care about the heart and soul of a woman not just her packaging. You come off very pompous, haughty and controlling to me, I can imagine women get the same sense of you. Not getting a phone number from a female within a weeks time of communication with her doesn't suggest to me she is playing games with you -- it suggests she is cautious and not willing to compromise her safety and security by giving such a man as you her contact information. Your response to such a woman would be to chastise her and teach her a lesson by denigrating her choice to wait until she's comfortable in giving you that information only reinforces the idea that you are most likely a man interested only in his own needs rather than that of the female. To that end, she would be well rid of you. :ROFL:
