I believe God created the man to be the pursuer and the woman to be the responder. I don't get offended by being pursued as a man, and I will most often respond, but after the initial contact gets the man's attention, I think ladies should wait for the man to pursue. It's his natural position and if he doesn't assume it after you get his attention, then he either has identity/development issues (he doesn't know what it is to be a man, or hasn't grown up yet) or he's "just not that into you".
I think it should be a red flag if a person admits to preferring to do the online thing. It should be two different methods a single person uses equally because they're two WAY different ways of getting to know someone. If you can't meet people in person, then for men, it's most likely an aversion to rejection. Fear of rejection is a huge reason men are on dating sites. Online, women are sometimes either non-responsive or very polite, and that's somehow easier to take than in person where you can see their physical response.
The other thing with online dating is quantity of contacts. In person, you have to experience the rejection of every non-successful approach. Online, you can shotgun blast out 30 or 40 short e-mails a day, and if you get 2 or 3 back, you focus on those and you don't have to "experience" the rejection of the other three dozen failed approaches.
Then there's the fantasy vs. reality factor. In person, other than the emotional masks many people wear to hide behind their walls, you get more of the real person with their real life flaws and weaknesses...we all have them. Online, you tend to project your fantasy of your perfect mate onto the person in the photos or behind the words until you meet in person. I think you even keep those fantasies until they're proven untrue somehow during the process of getting to know the person.
As for the cell phone thing? Geez you need to find some grownups to hang out with! lol When I'm with someone in person one on one (not in a group...that would be a different story), whether it's a friend or potential romantic interest, I don't take phone calls or texts unless it's work, an emergency, or some other urgent thing that can't wait. I always apologize and explain before I take that call or text. It wouldn't matter to me how loud it was in the room or if there was a lull in the conversation, if you start texting someone and don't tell me in advance it's urgent, I'm going to excuse myself quickly. In my book, that's not only rude but it's pretty much showing me you don't value my company so it's time to move on to someone who does.
Well to be specific to this site and not dating sites in general, I hate wasting time reading profiles and e-mailing ladies that haven't logged on in two or three years, and may never come back. Because the site is free, and it's in their best interest to have as many profiles as possible to attract new users, stale profiles are not deactivated or purged. On pay sites, you cancel your subscription, they yank your profile. That doesn't happen here...nature of the beast I guess? They should automatically de-activate profiles after some period of time of not logging in...like 6 mos. or a year. Then when you do log in again, you can always re-activate it. Free e-mail sites do this, so why not free dating sites?
You could surprise me with that motorcycle you're sitting on in your profile! Then of course I would take you for a ride on it...
However, if you showed up at my door unannounced and unexpected, expecting me to stop what I'm doing and devote my attention to you, I might not like that surprise unless we have been dating quite a while and I knew you could hang out without being entertained...
Any Guys left that believe in Sex only within the Bounds of Marriage?
Posted : 9 Jan, 2010 08:06 PM
While it is natural to have those desires, it's kinda right there in black and white in the book, and it's a joining of two souls and two spirits, not just a physical thing no matter what anyone says. Knowing that, it makes sense why God intended it only for marriage.
I feel ya bcpg... have a "friend" from here that I've corresponded with for months, and never met because she's on the other end of the country. Now she has begun a relationship with someone else that lives closer, so we probably never will meet.
I concur with the other posters tho...I think the guys interested. It's hard to tell though for future contacts...some guys aren't good with typing e-mails and computer stuff, and want to get digits or meet right away to get around that, but that doesn't mean they will ultimately be that interested. Other guys are just crazy busy with work, kids, sports, etc. so things are going to go slow until they get REALLY interested, usually after meeting in person and feeling the chemistry.
Good for you that you've potentially found someone that's close by...because of the relatively small size of this sight, I haven't found very many people in NE Ohio for ANY kind of relationship, even friendship.
Doesn't that completely change the meaning of the word "committed"? If you're on a dating website while in a committed relationship, what are you committed to...cheating?
If it's someone who remained on the site after committing to a relationship for the purposes of a "success" story, then that's one thing. If it's to keep in touch with friends, you can do that through a thousand other places like facebook.
