I work with men who have anger issues, and we use a course by Dr. Paul Hegstrom called Lifeskills. He wrote a book entitled "Angry men and the women who love them". I highly recommend this book to anyone, and it will help you see and identify patterns that lead to abuse, including whirlwind courtships, hard pressing for marriage, and other manipulative and controlling behaviors. I also think this material will minister to your heart and give you confidence that you will be able to see these things before they happen in future relationships. Whether you intend to marry again, you will have future relationships.
I pray for total healing in your heart and encouragement that there are Godly men out there who can walk out Ephesians 5:25, and love you like Christ loves the church and laid down His life for her. It's a matter of time and HIS timing.
Piano chick I totally agree with you on the income thing. That is the one place I could understand for just the reasons you stated, and in my mind, it wouldn't create a presupposition one way or the other, unlike the picture/body type question. Obviously it's appropriate to discuss those things after you've established a relationship.
Does anyone reallly believe that it's better to use this phrase about ANYTHING??
I mean really...if you don't post a pic, and use that phrase for body type, guys have no choice but to think you have a poor self image and you're ashamed of your appearance. We're gonna have to see you eventually!
I know I know...that may not be true, and the lady may have chosen to omit those things in hope that she would be chosen for well written profile or something other than her extreme beauty...but you're working against nature! God wired us to be visually oriented in our attraction, and we're gonna assume the former rather than the latter!
Okay, this oughtta open up a can of worms and bring the posters out of the lurker woodwork! :ROFL:
I have a situation that I would like honest opinions.
Posted : 4 Jan, 2010 08:35 PM
Sounds like to me, the guy has some reservations (fears). He may be unsure of himself, unsure of what he wants, or afraid of committing again after his relationship with the girls' mother ended. Although his feelings for you may stronger, he may not be sure that you're everything he wants in a mate, and therefore, afraid of losing a friend. If he's an emotionally secure guy, or any combination of the above fears is a factor, he may not settle until all the major items on his "wish" list for a mate are there.
The first gal I ever met on this site, I thought I was meeting her mother instead! Her pic was a GOOD 10 years old.
I think there should be a guideline that you should post no pics more than a year old. It does NOT benefit you to have pics on your profile that don't really look like you because it makes you look deceptive, and makes me wonder what ELSE I'm going to get surprised with!
To answer the question (and stop pontificating) my main pic was taken in August and the rest are no more than 1 year old.
Well referencing my posting about age limitations, if i can't e-mail or wink at someone because of it, then I'll add them as a favorite! It's the only other thing beside looking at her profile that I can do to get her attention!
Other than that, I might add her as a fav if I don't have time to come up with something meaningful or clever to e-mail her at the moment, with the intention of doing it later. Of course, all my friends that I do correspond with are usually on my favs list for convenience, and to kinda act as a ranking. Whether it's accurate or whether it was meant to or not, I do think it's one form of ranking how popular you are.
In the past, I've taken my profile down when I've determined that there really is the potential for long term relationship, and that I want to focus on this possibility without any other relationships distracting me or causing issues with the one I feel the most potential with. It was almost always a mutual thing that we didn't have to discuss or ask the other person about...we just both did it at the same time.
Speaking of airfare, I had a friend who used to work for USAIR, and she got me guest passes once in a while. You had to fly standby, but you could go roundtrip the next day for about 85 bucks. Now its up to about 150, but alas, she does not work there anymore.
I have another friend who works for USAIR and immediately family members fly standby (space available) for FREE.
So anyone employed by an airline and want to adopt me?
Uh yeah. Sex is a big deal. Think I read some statistic that the average 30 something male thinks about sex every 37 seconds or so. I think by the time he's 70 it subsides to every 5 minutes. Most ladies I know who have been married think about sex all the time as well. It's normal. I do however believe that lust is a huge factor in our society, and abstinence is possible and required.
When the disciples asked Jesus how many times they should forgive, He said 490 a day and I'm sure that was figuratively speaking, so that answers those questions. However, when trust is broken, it's more complicated than just forgiving...there has to be a time of proving and re-earning trust. Even then it's nearly impossible.
Meds? Have the underlying issues been identified and are they being dealt with?
Flirting is a great thing for single people and a very bad thing for married people.
Women need emotional connection to be sexual...the challenge is to have that emotional connection which builds anticipation, and be celibate until marriage!
Women should be exactly what God created them to be, and be able to be equal to their partners, yet be able to submit as much as he submits to her.
I value my female friends more than ever this year, but I acknowledge how hard it is to keep it platonic.
And again, mutual submission is the key. Neither husband nor wife should make choices that affect their spouse or families without the consent of their spouse.
