Author	Thread: A call from behind the wall.
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 9 Jul, 2011 03:11 PM Being a single man looking for a woman, I am often unaware of the actions other single men and how they act. I hear horrible stories from trusted Sisters-in-Christ, that claim men have lost their minds..that looking for a good man is extremely difficult..so what�s goin in out there, please share with me your experience. Please keep in mind, to be respectful, and not come off as if you are complaining or give us advice, otherwise men will pay no heed. And I know you want be heard. It would also help you if you appear credible, for instance if you dress immodestly, and you have problem with men making sexual advances towards you..well I think you get my drift, but I�m not here to debate a topic (we can start another thread for that lol) Men pleeeeeeeaaseee just listen�do not offer advice or solutions, but encouragement, and empathy would be more than welcome�I would like this to be a platform where women can tell us men what they would like us to know, and how interactions with us make them feel  Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 10 Jul, 2011 03:18 PM 28 views and no one wants share? :( Post Reply
View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 10 Jul, 2011 04:15 PM It's all guys that have looked at it. Or more likely, they don't actually trust us to not answer back to them. I don't blame them. Post Reply
View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 10 Jul, 2011 05:53 PM I am posting something I have observed thus far with Christian brothers and sisters in relationships. I�ve come to the conclusion that it isn�t men to be blamed or women for the type of abuse most sexes receive in relationships. I just read a profile where one man apologizes for the all the times women have not been respected by men, not cherished or put first as they should have been in a relationship or for those relationships that were used to get one�s self ahead of the other. The fault is in my opinion�us ourselves, people. When someone abuses us it is because we�ve let them after the first time and stayed. Compromising our character in Christ brings shame and heartache. Standing in His truth, telling another when they are hurting our emotions or that they are crossing our set boundaries makes the other person give us the respect we desire and deserve in Christ. When someone lacks respect or honesty towards us and we say nothing we let ourselves down and diminish the price Christ paid for our freedom. We are the ones who continue the age old progress of the enemy. We are agreeing with the lie. We aren�t worthy enough to be treated with respect. When we agree to settle for less than what God intended for us is when we decide to let the abuse continue�therefore�let us agree to have respect, walk in honesty, and keep His character within ourselves to be held up first and foremost for us to be with the best He has intended. Post Reply
View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 10 Jul, 2011 06:07 PM I apologize for the sermon...it was how I have felt for quite some time now and hope men and women decide to treat others as though it was Christ they were conversing or dating at the time of any relationship...and any and all mistreatment would stop. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 10 Jul, 2011 07:31 PM The reason I haven't answered is because I'm not entirely sure what you are asking for, Rabbit. I'll do my best to give some of things I've liked and disliked about the way men have treated me in my adult life so far, and a brief explanation of each. Dislikes: I really don't like it when a man (single, married, friend, stranger...doesn't matter) treats me like a child. I spent the first 27 years of my life attending one church. Many of the men there STILL think of me as a little girl, and treat me as such. It really irks me! When a single man talks to me in overly-simplified language, or says things like "Oh, you probably wouldn't understand yet", or tries to shelter me from things, I don't take kindly to it. I don't like for men to assume that I'm a super independent woman just because I have a full-time college teaching position. Also, I sometimes feel that it's almost as if my position requires a guy to treat me as he would an authority figure. It's kinda weird, actually! I don't appreciate it when men flirt thoughtlessly. If he's interested, great...flirt away! But if he's not, I wish he'd just talk to me like a "normal person" and not make things awkward. Likes: I love it when a man treats me as if I'm the most precious thing in his life. That doesn't mean that he is overprotective, but rather that he seems to think that he is lucky to have won me! When a guy treats me like that, I am the truly lucky one! I like it when a guy doesn't have to play the part of a gentleman because he IS a gentleman. Opening doors, paying for dates, walking on the road side of the sidewalk, holding my chair, offering to carry heavy things, etc...if those things are second nature to a man, my heart will melt (if he's a single man, that is!). Any guy who will engage me in serious conversation will win me over pretty quickly. Even if he's not single, I have great respect for any man who will talk to me as an equal while still recognizing that I'm a woman. A guy who is openly passionate about Christ is sure to catch my attention. If his face lights up when he talks about whatever ministry he is involved in, I will be drawn to that. If he calls me to tell me about a verse that really spoke to his heart, if he texts me a prayer request, if he sends me a link to his favorite Christian song...those are things that also show his passion. This one might be a little weird, but I like it when a guy knows I'm not helpless, but lets me be helpless once in a while when I need a big strong guy to handle something. That something might be as small as opening a jar of spaghetti sauce, or as big as taking on a major project around the house. Either way, I could probably handle it myself, but there might be times when I would want to let him show off his strength, or when I might just feel the need to take a break from handling my own problems. Here are a couple things that I've never really had to deal with in "real life", though I've encountered some of them online. Men don't usually approach me in a way that makes me think they are only after sex. I hope that says something positive for my modesty and demeanor, and doesn't say something about how unattractive I am! I've honestly never had to turn down any date requests. Guys just don't ask me out, which isn't exactly fun, but it does keep me from having to reject anyone. I don't know if that's anything close to what you are looking for or not in this topic, but that's what you are getting from me! Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 10 Jul, 2011 07:34 PM Oh yeah, I meant to also say that when searching for that really special guy, it's a lot harder to find guys who line up with my "likes" more than my "dislikes". Even if they don't fall into any of the "dislike" patterns, if they lack the "likes", then I probably won't be all that interested. And no, they don't have to be perfect or meet every single "like" on my list. Goodness...if they just had 75% of the likes, I might be interested! Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 10 Jul, 2011 10:09 PM You know BC I agree with you it makes me mad to no end when men stir up a womans heart for whatever a reason, I dont think its right because I know how sensitive a womans heart can be, and I suppose thats why ya'll are so guarded. Whats worse is I would consider myslef blessed to be in the company of some of the women, that men haphazardly pursue. :) Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 11 Jul, 2011 03:59 PM alot of the men I have run across have apparently been rejected alot, so by the time they get to me, they're tolerance is short. If I dont answer my phone, they say "it was nice knowing you" and they give up. They seem afraid to pursue. others seem to very interested in physical things. it's rare to meet a christian who is interested in the things of God. Interesting, huh? Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 11 Jul, 2011 04:09 PM @River do you think its really fear, or perhaps frustration? Post Reply
View Profile History	A call from behind the wall. Posted : 12 Jul, 2011 01:35 PM Lack of patience, more like, I'd say neither fear nor frustration. If someone doesn't pick up the phone or you can't talk for a few days, and the other person is already making a huge issue of it, RUN. It just means that when harder times come, they won't be there for you, and it's evident in the fact that they are quick to give up or jump to conclusions and raise their voice, or quick to anger. Post Reply

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