Author	Thread: Would it bother you if...
Admin	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 08:46 AM Would it bother you if (when you marry) your husband made less money than you? Would it make you feel like you were the provider? Would you respect him any less? Would you feel like you were the true head of household? Post Reply
View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 08:48 AM Yea, it would... Post Reply
View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 09:00 AM LOL. My elaboration; It would bother me that my husband made less money than me. I would feel like I were the provider. I would have to consciously remind myself that he's the one wearing the pants, so yes it would make me feel like the head of the house hold and unfortunately make me respect him less. Money is not king, but if I am able to make more of it than he is then i'd have to wonder. I'm being honest when I say that it would take much effort to keep a chip off my shoulder. Post Reply
View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 09:17 AM Thanks boo! I appreciate your honesty. Post Reply
View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 09:26 AM No problem! :glow: C'mon peeps, have at it! Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 10:28 AM My two cents for what it is worth. The deciding factor for me is motivation. If he is doing his best and working to provide for the family, what more could I ask? As for if his contribution to the coffers is more or less than mine, once it hits the family pot it is all family money anyway. Does it really matter which person contributed what? An analogy: Does it matter which family member puts in the vegetables and which the meat as long as come dinner time we have the pot of stew to eat? Although, if his job pays better than mine, we could have chili instead of stew some nights. :) Blessings, Elisa Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 05:57 PM I was well on my way on posting re this issue on the ask a guy forum when I realized that maybe the question would as well be on this forum! I would be very much bothered with it as I do not want to have such an experience again. I have been in such a situation once, that is a dating situation, and I constantly had to invent something to fill the rather painful, if not embarassing silence that fell when people would ask the profession of my date, that is hear the answer. I never realized how many times you have to tell your name, your profession and your faith (or denomination) when you are socializing or when you are introducing your boyfriend! Although we were not bothered with it ourselves, friends and acquaintances obviously did not know what to say.... they either said nothing but give us these looks, or came up with a cheap (funny meant to be) comments. There is this way to say: oh well moneyis not everything as long as you love eachother.... very nice to hear!! And then those looks! Real, real friendly and well meant! In the end, it was because of others that it became an issue between us. He felt uncomfortable when people would ask or a related issue would come to conversation, I felt irritated and at the end of such a social evening, we were both fed up with it or ended up in an argument, where I would accuse him of being over sensitive and he me of not being engaged enough to battle the prejudice. Anyway.... it did not work out. So Babygirl, it is not only when you would marry someone.... it is also a question if you would ever get so far... Well we did not and whatever the reasons, it was brought to us from the outside! :waving::waving::waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 06:14 PM SOS, do you mind saying his profession was? What made it so different from yours that other's felt the need to comment? If you feel you should not for whatever reasons, I understand. Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 06:52 PM Nice question! It wouldn't bother me under certain circumstances...if he was doing mission work, if he was going to school, or if he truly loved his job. My husband has to have ambition whether it is to spread the word of God, to get his master's degree, or heck to be the best grocery store cashier ever. These 3 things and I am fine with making more cash than my husband. However, I have been poor before. I have been on welfare and fought tooth and nail to get myself off of it .I can't and won�t go back to poverty. It is an extremely strong fear of mine. I have to have a partner who can understand that fear. I need money in savings and for the bills to be paid on time. He can make less so long as together we can meet those needs. Post Reply
View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 17 Jul, 2010 09:32 PM I agree with Elisa. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	Would it bother you if... Posted : 18 Jul, 2010 12:46 PM @Baby I just viewed your post now. He was a seaport crane operator. You know these huge and high cranes they use in ports to put the containers from the tankers to shore (and back). The operator sits I don�t know how many feet high operating these huge cranes. I was a productmanager (marketing) I must admit that it was quite a different working environment and culture. The harbours are usually linked with rough labour and many think that those who work there are somewhat low in pay AND THEREFORE IN CIVILIZATION. So actually it was not the salary but the assumptions and things people contribute to others when they hear about your profession. (when you have a terrific salary you are thought to be a terrific person.....) And by the way, he is an owner of a container company now! I guess the american dream also applies in Europe! hahahaha And I am a farmergril in Brazil (hahahahaha) :waving: Post Reply

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