ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 03:56 PM
Cobbler
"Do you have any guys in mind that you wished would ask you out? Try asking a friend to talk to him about you."
Don't you think this is kind of junior highish? Is the friend going and saying Dee Dee told me to tell you she likes you and wants you to ask her out" or "I know you are seeking God for a spouse. Have you thought of Dee Dee"?
ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 04:23 PM
Well, if you state in a junior highish way, then yes. This is the way I normally do it.
Me: Hey Joe, what are you up to ... blah blah blah, usual banter.
Hey, are you dating anyone?
Joe: No, there isn't anyone I'm interested in.
Me: Have you considered pinogal? She likes the same kind of music that you do, likes traveling around, visiting places. You're always going places, right?
Joe: Yeah, I don't know...
Me: Come on, she's even good looking too. :winksmile:
Joe: It doesn't matter, she wouldn't go out with me anyways.
Me: Actually, she wouldn't mind going out with you.
Joe: Oh, yeah, sure! You're just making that up.
Me: No, really. I talked to her about you and she said that she'd like to get to out with you. You should ask her out.
Joe: Whatever, I'll think about it.
You just have to remember that the focus is about helping two people get together, about them being happy. It�s not about you trying to �set him up� with someone or just passing him a message, it is about you trying to help him find someone. And when I said I've done it before, I mean two adult couples that eventually got married. But, sadly, most people won't do it for someone else because they are only thinking about how they might be embarrassed by it.
ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 04:58 PM
New around here after trying out other sites for months and eventually found my way here, so may as well chime in.
The town I live in is of decent size, but my day to day life tends to prevent me from meeting new people. Working in a cubical and having no single's group at church leaves me with little choices. I could join a different church, but am friends with the pastor at my current church and as a whole enjoy it there. Neither shall I compromise myself for self gratification. The last option is to get involved in the community which I intend to do, but am doubtful it will help much.
I am here in the hope that I will find a marriage partner, but must have faith that I will meet her someday. Ideally, I would not settle for less than what I am. I neither drink nor smoke and do not believe in sex before marriage. To me means that the only chance I have is a long distance relationship which pose their own problems.
As an introvert, I have always kept my heart guarded which makes it difficult to be around people I am unfamiliar with. This seems largely due to the state that society has been driven to as it creates a divide of mistrust between people. So to answer the original question, to some extent the answer would be a yes.
ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 08:31 PM
OK, I guess I sort of misunderstood your post, Cobbler, but I still don't think it's quite as easy as that. Right now, I know two guys that I'd be very willing to date. One isn't interested in a long-distance relationship (though I've tried to make it clear that I would be interested), and the other isn't interested in me (or at least he's ignored all my attempts to get to know him better for more than a year now).
Arranged marriages are sounding better and better to me...
ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 09:42 PM
Well, have you talked to your parents? Whether we start dating or not (I'm still waiting on God's direction on that one), my mom picked a pretty good girl for me.
ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 10:32 PM
DeeDee,
This question I agree with: If God felt we were ready we would be married right?
If you just wanted to be married to be married, you could go to Vegas and pick somebody up in a casino bar who would be a willing participant, but most of us here are wanting more.
Maybe, "Do we want God to prepare us for a godly marriage or do we just want Him to hand us a spouse? is a question we should consider. I didn't marry until I was 29. I had a career and my own home. I thought I was ready. Evidentally, God didn't. During that time, I took as many opportunities as possible to study the Bible; attend seminars, conferences, workshops, etc.; and read any (Christian) book I could get my hands on that would help me be a godly woman and wife. I did not "waste my years" as (I think) Cobbler is trying to say. I wanted to be the best single or married woman I could be for God's glory. I still do.
However, whether we are wasting time on our laurels or being prepared is only something we can decide about ourselves with God's discernment. When Joseph was in prison because of Potipher's wife, he did not know that he was being prepared to be second in command of Eygpt. Yet, the Bible tells us that God was with Joseph and He prospered Joseph. While Paul sat in prison wanting to be in Rome witnessing to Caesar, he did not know that God was going to fill that desire of his heart, but he still took every opportunity to tell everyone he met about Jesus.
If I understand Cobbler correctly, we need to be about our Father's business while He is preparing us for our hearts desire. Being a hermit couch potato doesn't fall under the category of doing our Father's work or preparing for our heart's desire - unless your heart's desire is total apathy.
I was lonely a lot over those early years, but my heart's desire was worth the wait.
ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2010 10:39 PM
@ Tulip : "Am I the kind of person that the kind of person I would want to marry would want to marry?" We can build our relationship with Christ, grow in our faith, and grow personally, but we can't hurry up God's timing.
ARE WE STANDING IN THE WAY OF GOD BLESSING US WITH A SPOUSE?
Posted : 12 Oct, 2010 10:30 PM
@ Tulip : "Am I the kind of person that the kind of person I would want to marry would want to marry?"
This is a very valid question. However, if the answer to that question always comes back as "no" then what? destine to be single forever? Or does that person just have to "make do" with what will have him/her even if it's nothing like what they want?
example: If an intelligent person is looking for someone who is close in mental calibre as they so that they can enjoy deep discussions but that intelligent person only attracts people who have a below average IQ... should that person dumb themselves down just for the sake of having someone?
