Author Thread: Weddings: who pays?
bcpianogal

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 2 Jan, 2011 07:11 PM

OK, so "traditionally" it would seem that the bride's parents are expected to pay for the wedding. In years past, girls often married young, focused on homemaking skills rather than a career, and had very little money with which to pay for a wedding. However, in this modern era women are marrying later, focusing on their careers and bringing home a decent income, and tending to move away from home and live out on their own.

My question to you ladies is, has the expectation for "who pays" changed with the times? Who is planning to pay for your wedding?

And guys (since I know you are probably going to answer anyway!), is there ever a situation where you would want to help out with wedding costs? I know that "traditionally" your parents pay for the rehearsal dinner...has that changed in any way?

And for both guys and girls, does your age and/or life situation have anything to do with your answer to "who pays"?





Personally, I plan to pay for my own wedding (if that day ever comes). My mom doesn't have a lot of money to spend on her three daughters' weddings, and I have a full-time job. Why shouldn't I pay for my own wedding? I've been saving up for it for about a year now, and have enough tucked away for a nice little ceremony and reception. If my groom wanted to help pay for things, I sure wouldn't refuse his help...but I wouldn't expect it.

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 07:39 PM

Well, Mark, I've set my standards pretty low for my own ceremony, wink wink.

But seriously, I get a little depressed when I think about paying for things, being an unemployed student and daughter of a schoolbus driver (they don't exactly rake it in). My hope is that if I got engaged, I'd be in a position to maybe find a part time job to help out with a modest-as-possible-without-disappointing-the-family ceremony. My brother and his fiance got $13k apiece from my dad when they got engaged, but my relationship with my 'dad' being what it is, I don't expect the same treatment.

That's probably a good thing... I don't want to know what my body would do if I opened a check for 13,000 bones.

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 08:16 PM

I would want me and my partner that pay. But if my Mom or his parents want to do some "charity" for us, I wouldn't stop them lol :goofball: we can't reject any type of blessing, right :ROFL:

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 5 Jan, 2011 09:22 AM

My opinion on this matter has changed.

what if the guy had to pay a dowery to the girls parents?

ladies- do not be offended here.

Think about it???????

if he had to pay Dad and Mom to Marry you, would that give him 2nd thoughts about divoroce???????

How much are you, the lady worth?

I herad an African preacher say he had to work 6 years to pay his father in law to marry. What is love????

Is she worth it????

What if he had to have a character refernence?

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rainbowian

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 5 Jan, 2011 09:51 AM

dgrimer:

If I was a woman, I'd be offended. So women are just property to be purchased?

And 70% of divorces are initiated by the wife. The chances of the husband leaving the marriage are small.

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 5 Jan, 2011 11:57 AM

So if the women initiates the divorce, do you get your money back?

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 5 Jan, 2011 12:49 PM

dgr, I fail to see what you are getting at. Most of us don't live in a culture that does that. A woman is only worth as much as the man spent on her? I don't follow.

Anyway, both parties have things to lose if there is divorce, no matter who it was who shelled out for the wedding.

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Firehawk

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 6 Jan, 2011 10:41 AM

Actually rainbow, the bride price was to cover the inconvenience to the bride's family without the bride and to cover cost if the husband dies or divorces her.

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beautifulheart4Him

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Weddings: who pays?
Posted : 6 Jan, 2011 11:20 AM

I am 41 now, so if I ever get married again I would expect that my future husband and I would pay the expenses. However, when I got married young, my parents took care of that and his parents took care of the rehearsal dinner. LOL that's been TOO many years ago to count.....:ROFL:

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