Author Thread: Being harassed
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Being harassed
Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 06:32 AM

There is this christian man i used to date but i cut if off, could not work for me, I told him we could be friends just friends. He still insist that I am to be his wife and he is having all these dreams of us being married and me being pregnant, he evens wants to come by my home which never happened before. I feel wierd i am telling him those are his dreams not mine GOD has never confirmed to me that I would marry him so I cannot agree and he has his cell group praying for me to marry him. How do I truly get him to see I do not love him enough to marry him. PLEASE HELP :toomuch:

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Being harassed
Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 09:38 AM

@cowgirl



Apparently you have gleaned the "two sides to every story" put have ignored the "reading between the lines". There are some things I believe you may not have seen in Vals posts because of 'knee jerk emotion'. That's ok; you're 100% female and that's a good thing.

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Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 10:28 AM

Val, I just got here. i have read this for the first time.

If he comes by your home that is stalking and he is breaking the law.Not only do you reort it but if possible photograph it.

Have evidence to back you up. a witness is needed.Do you have a good friend who can help?

Do have the police pay him a visit no matter what.Push them.

They are here to protect and serve.

Dennis

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cowgirl1984

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Being harassed
Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 06:23 PM

@twosparrows. I did not ignore the "reading between the lines" part. I responded to it, but you keep ignoring my response. I have now said TWICE that being a man you do not understand the potential safety issue here. Therefore, no matter what I read between the lines, it does not matter. It was not "knee jerk emotion" that caused my response. That's ridiculous. It's a "safety first" issue. I never said have him arrested right now. I agreed that reporting it to have it on record is good. That way if something DOES happen, the authorities will be able to help her more efficiently. It is not emotion, it is wisdom. The fact that you are defending someone who does not take no for an answer makes me think you also are someone who does not take no for an answer. I could be wrong, but that seems to be the case as you continually do not listen to what I am saying and you keep repeating yourself when I am answering you. I will say ONCE MORE, as a man you do not understand the potential danger of the situation, so it is better to be safe. I am going to stop answering you now because it is a waste of my breath. Or rather, my fingers.

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aceets

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Being harassed
Posted : 22 Oct, 2010 01:04 PM

Sparrow,



You are dealing with someone who is going to use spiritual abuse if nothing else works, i.e. asking his house group to pray for you. Sounds to me as if the next desperate thing that he will try on you is to start telling you that God had told/ordered/commanded him to marry you. Just remember that God has not told you anything and that unless that changes first whatever this guy says may safely be ignored.



Hope this helps.



Blessings

Aceets

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Posted : 22 Oct, 2010 04:38 PM

I knew somebody that told a woman that GOD said that she was to be his wife.The woman married him.I met them after they had been married for 11 years.The marriage was marred with one diaster after another.Then it came to a crashing end. Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Be carefull that you do not make your will, "Gods will ".

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marikashome

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Posted : 25 Oct, 2010 08:01 AM

I was stalked for several years by a man who would loudly pray that I would come to my senses, stop being so rebellious and marry him. He followed me around town, around the grocery store and at church. People thought it was funny. It wasn't. The hardest thing about it was that I got NO support-no one wanted to "hurt his faith". Come on--he had done this to several women. He had threatened to do illegal things if he didn't get the woman he wanted. He was verbally abusive to me, calling me names, following me around saying I was going to hell for rebelling and being unsubmissive to him because he was a man and I was a woman so I should do anything he said. He wouldn't accept me telling him "no"-he called that "playing hard to get".



Do what I was finally advised to do. Make note of every incident, including exact words said. Keep copies of any voice mails, IMs or e-mails he sends. This doesn't only help you if you file a restraining order (which isn't always a good course of action), but it will help you personally--the incidents are real, and when you begin tracking them, you may notice a pattern that could help you avoid some of the problems. Also, good records keep things in perspective. People kept telling me it was just my imagination and that I was overreacting. My records helped me realize that wasn't the case.



Talk to neighbors and someone at your workplace (someone in human resources, a receptionist, or a security guard might be best). Ask them to please call the police if there is suspicious activity at your house, or to let you know if there are suspicious calls to or about you at work. You don't have to say you're being stalked.



Cyberstalking is also very real, so if you are being harassed online, don't rule out that possibility. There are people who volunteer to track cyberstalkers, so if you feel you are being cyberstalked, please google and locate one of these groups. They can help.

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bcpianogal

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Being harassed
Posted : 25 Oct, 2010 08:09 AM

Those are some good tips, marikashome!

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