Author	Thread: Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter?
Admin	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:30 AM I wanted to just get some insight into the world of Christian dating about attraction and the physical elements that come along with it. I understand that this life is short and we shouldn't be concerned with the physical but when it comes to dating and marriage...that is something that we only get here on this Earth. I don't believe I get to heaven and my wife comes running to me saying "I'm so glad you're here, I've been lonely." Till death do us part means our relationship ends at death correct? So anyway, it seems like people expect Christians (Specifically men) to overlook physical beauty and look at the heart. I know men are very visual and God created us that way (Why? I'm not sure) but do you believe we should pursue or even entertain the thought of dating women we are not attracted to physically? I know women do that all the time, but I feel like they are wired differently. I guess I would just like to hear some well thought out responses to this, because I seem to get a lot of ridicule for having high standards and wanting certain physical attributes to be there when I consider dating and marriage. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 09:30 AM @Mark: Can I laugh now after reading what u said? Lol. Since I have hold my tongue in what you guys were saying in the "christian men dating women their daughter's age" post since it was posted in the ask a guy forum lol *Anyway peace, dun mean anythin by saying that I've hold my laugh on the post before so.. I think I now can at least laugh..a bit hehe* Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 09:44 AM JesusLoves, go ahead and laugh @Mark...but I'm still over Rabbit comparing his aged wife with his old Ford pick-up...:ROFL: If it had been a Chevy, I might have been offended. :ROFL: Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 10:07 AM Yeah...I kinda got lost and invaded your territory:laugh:. Didn't even notice it was the ask a girl section when I posted, and I always go through my profile to check the posts again so I didn't see it then either. But I just noticed yesterday that I was the first poster in the "ask a girl" section, lol. Oops. Well, hey...there's a girl in my picture, and another poster has mistaken me for female before! It's only fair then! Now we're even...or something... :peace::peace: Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 11:23 AM We still play slug bug...one w/e my oldest son almost tasted the rainbow, I think all we lacked was a green bug. :boxing: Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 06:05 AM Mark: I could keep this going for a long time but I'm just going to stop and apologize for my mean responses to you and your girlfriend. Her post triggered me and that's how I responded. I could defend myself all day but I'm too tired to do that. There is a way to word a response without making others upset. As long as it's just your opinion its ok I guess...haha Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 06:08 AM I even deleted my preferences! :peace: can't wait to meet all the awesome people I've been missing :goofball: Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 08:23 AM Way to go, Righttwing :) now I can see that you're a humble guy ;) gud luck in ur search :) Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 03:50 PM :bow:Well...if it means anything, you've got my respect. Not too many people would do what you just did. I figured that a smart/good-looking guy like yourself would have just said, "forget this stupid little free website...", but you didn't. Nice show of character. And you don't need to apologize to me, if anything we're even. I was pointing a few too many fingers at you and I'm sorry for that. ANYWAY! Once again: "welcome to the forums". Sorry we got off on the wrong foot, and again once again, I agree with your post. Keep them coming! Physical attraction plays a major role in a relationship and we shouldn't be penalized for wanting to be attracted to our partners. It just confused me as to why you'd have the list if it wasn't important. My girlfriend for example...she's a confident person, and she probably would have just passed you by because of it. It would be a shame to let something on your profile disqualify you like that, especially if it wasn't even that important. :peace::peace: Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 07:45 PM * puts down two pennies* here's my two cents... While yes I agree that there has to be some element of physical attraction in a marital relationship. I do not begrudge anyone for saying so or wanting such. However, what I do have a small complaint about... is when someone feels they absolutely must have that "spark" (ie: lust) for their potential partner immediately right off the bat and as such overlook way too many a possible excellent match. Many times, there aren't any flying sparks at first but as you get to know someone better features that you never noticed before all of a sudden you find very attractive and the physical element grows into that spark from there. I've seen it happen more than once. One of my mom's students was a "girl next door" type.. not beautiful by any worldly means... most would go as far to say she wasn't even that cute. However, she managed to become friends with the "guy every girl wanted" he was very handsome, well built, smart, successful... in essence he was a "prince charming". This girl who befriended him watched as he went through broken relationship after broken relationship... she was always there giving him valuable advice, a shoulder to cry on, and a place he knew he could safely vent. She knew she liked him more than she should and even at one point in their friendship asked what he thought about dating her... His reply "Your great, my best friend... but I am just not into you like that" She was crushed but cared for him too much to not be his friend.... however, long story short... after 14 years of being best friends he suddenly noticed something about her he never noticed before... an attractiveness that he would have sworn was not there before...now all of a sudden he saw her as something more than a friend... he saw her as his "one". Needless to say he proposed a couple months after this "a-ha" moment and they have been happily married now for... wow almost 10 years. It is possible to not have that instant spark but rather for that spark to grow over time until suddenly you realize... wow! how did I miss THAT! when she was right there the whole time! As I said... just my two cents... I myself... keep hoping there is a guy out there who has that "a-ha" moment for me... guess we'll all wait and see yes? Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 10:22 PM Mark: Thanks, Honestly...that's one of my biggest struggles. I tend to be very reactive and I'm seriously working on it. Nobody deserves to be attacked because of their opinion even if they totally disagree with me. So I do apologize to both of you! As far as the last post goes. There is one issue that I think is important to point out. You said that they were friends for like 15 years. Relationships are not all about appearances but I think attraction is very important. You said that he developed that attraction then they started dating. He didn't start dating her without being attracted. I've found plenty of girls attractive that maybe my friends thought were "eh" but I was really attracted. So I don't believe people should date someone they are not attracted to with the hope that they might become attracted. I think it's backwards. If they started dating and he wasn't attracted, I think he would have had a harder time finding that "ah ha" moment because of the nature of serious relationships. Post Reply

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