Author Thread: girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 07:26 PM

I notice some girls say "I want a man, don`t need a man."

What`s the difference?

Psalm 23... the Lord is my sheppard I shall not want.

Phillipians 4:19... My God shall supply all my needs (including a mate)

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 07:36 PM

In my case - I do not need a man. To complete me, to change tires, to assemble furniture, etc.

But I would like a man - for companionship, for back massages at the end of a long day, to talk to my kids about sex, that sort of thing.

I am a fully functional member of society and a capable adult all on my own. I am a daughter of God, and He meets my every need. But it would be nice to have someone to snuggle up with on occasion. Does that make sense?

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Elisa

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 08:00 PM

In this circumstance, need implies that I cannot survive alone. I can, with God's help. Want implies a desire that while not a necessity, would be lovely.

Example: I need food to survive. I want mangos because they are one of my favorite fruits. The mango may help fill a need, but is actually a want. To survive, most any fruit would work. However, I have a taste for mangos. Wants can also be like chocolate. I want chocolate, but to eat it will cause me major health problems. Just because I want it does not make it good for me.

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 08:32 PM

Men have conquered and tamed the wilderness, built cities and societies for women to be safe and at ease in. Women no longer need a man to survive or even funtion in this world. Women view men like accessories ; somebody to match their goals, fulfill their dreams, all the while ignoring the scriptures that identify her as the helpmate. Women don't need a husband, they want a helpmate. If men were needed as they once were the divorce rate would be under 10% and children would still have their fathers.

Whew...:toomuch:

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Elisa

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 08:42 PM

I disagree TwoSparrows. In my humble opinion, most women do not view men as accessories any more than men view women that way. My answer was simplistic to illustrate a point and to not hijack the discussion.

Concerning your comment that if people really needed each other, the divorce rate would be lower....let me give that some thought. My first inclination would be agreement, but something something about is bothering me and it will take rumination with careful thought to figure out what.

You are right that people can survive alone in today's world. There is no longer the need as was present in previous generations. Once a couple is married, I would hope they need each other. Having never been married, I am going out on a limb here. Once the two become one, for half to leave would be to leave a gaping wound.

Just some thoughts and by no means do I claim expert status in answering this. I am still feeling my way through it so to speak.

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marikashome

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 09:14 PM

I would love to have someone special in my, to love and be loved, to share life with, and so forth. I do not need a man, though. And Mt 6:33 refers to the verses above... "consider the lilies", "consider the sparrows", etc. God will supply our needs of food, clothing, shelter, etc in other words. However, if I never get married, I still have His companionship and that of other people. Therefore to me marriage is a want, not a need. That doesn't degrade men or marriage. It makes marriage more special--if I marry it will be because I love someone and want to be with them, not solely for personal benefit, gain or survival.

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 09:21 PM

Elisa,

sorry I didn't even read your post until now...hehehe...I just saw the topic and thought I would add alittle hot sauce!

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 11:50 PM

A lot of the talk of needing and wanting becomes politically correct like everything else these days. Its natural to feel a need and a want for my mate but not healthy if I need one so bad that I can't live a normal, happy life and end up in a relationship because I "can't" go it solo. God said He is our everything and to seek Him first and then all these things shall be added.

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 11:58 PM

I understand the spirit in which the ladies answered the question, but my view varies a bit. I believe that we have created a cultural bias against being needful. We want to project a persona of strength and control...of which, in our own right, we have neither. We are creatures that need a great deal more than food in our mouths and a roof over our heads.

The truth is, men and women need each other. God created us that way. Within the bond of marriage, there is a completion, a compliment, a balance, a stability that is not found in being single. I think few are called to go through this life alone. God's desire is for Godly marriages to promote Godly families and raise children in our Faith...to strengthen and further His Kingdom. Yes, God will supply our every need...physically, emotionally, spiritually...and often times He does so through a mate.

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i_live_in_canada

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 22 Dec, 2010 12:29 AM

I do not believe that it is healthy to think you need any one to survive. When you are stuck in that frame of mind you will allow your self to be treated poorly and even possibly abused.



As humans we do need to feel love and acceptance in order to feel complete. This does not mean we can not survive with out it. We will still be able to find food and shelter.



twosparrows you are wrong about the past. Yes the construction was most likely done by men based on pure the size and strength difference but women were not week. Human kind has always been selfish. I am sure there were women that had to fend for there selves. The bible even talks about divorce so it was happening in that time as well.



Just because people felt they needed each other to survive did not mean they were happy. Some women stayed and were beaten and killed. Is that better?



From other posts I have read from you I get the impression you are some what sexist. This is too bad as you do not need to feel fear and hatred towards women because they do not need you the way you wish.



I love my children with all my heart. If the need be I would give up my life in a heart beat to save there's. A lot of parents especially mothers feel empty when there children no longer need them to survive. This sounds like how you view the love between a man and a woman. That they must need you and if not there is some thing wrong. This is a selfish love. One based on fear and co-dependency.



Sure it can be hard to let go but the harder you try to hold on to some one the more they want to push away. Loving some one fully is excepting them. Helping them to be all that they can be and letting them go if they feel the need. Being there for them when they fall and supporting them in there decisions.



So my friend you need not fear us because we are not week and helpless. Respect and appreciate us for all that we are and can be. Keep and open mind and never underestimate any one no matter what there gender, age or race may be.

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girls..Want a man,don`t need a man..difference?l
Posted : 22 Dec, 2010 05:45 AM

God Created Women as a �HelpMate�. That does not mean �servant� or servile. The key word there is Mate and a �mate� is an equal.



To say that women need men is to imply that they are �less� than men. In my opinion it is the other way around. I�ve seen grown men in combat cry out for their mothers in time of their most need�not their fathers.



God Created men and women as Unique and Singular creatures�with the ability to stand on their own two feet�alone. Any dependency on each other is just that�a dependency and prone to abuse.



A lot of men and I mean a lot of men�NEED to be in control (of women especially) and they do that by �belittling� � �patronizing� � �manipulating� and �classifying� women. The reason they do this is FEAR! Fear that they will be �found� out as being empty vessels with no real substance to them. Fear that it will be found out that they live in a �house of cards�.



These men puff themselves up and bluster and preen and strut, but will bolt and run at the first sign of trouble (whether that trouble is relational or physical).



I do not want my wife to �need� me, but rather I want her to �want� me. I believe that God does not want us to Love Him because we �Need� to, but rather because we �Want� to Love Him.



The difference is in The Will. That is why I say that Love is in The Will. If you feel that you Love someone because you �need� to instead of because you �want� to�then your Love is pretty much a �reaction��like pushing a button. All I have to do for you to fall �in Love� with me is find that Button and push it!



As for your comment Chuck that:



�If men were needed as they once were the divorce rate would be under 10% and children would still have their fathers.�



What you are really saying (and I deduce this from reading many of your posts and threads and from your personal emails to me) is:



�If men were allowed to �Control� women the way they �used� to -- then the divorce rate would reflect only how unhappy these men are with their Servants (wives) and that children would have their Dictators (fathers).�



Now there are women that are so confused and weak of spirit that do like men that �take control� and these women will �follow� those types of men.



But, to get back to the Thread�no women should not Need men. Sorry Chuckie!

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