(I came across this and I thought it worthy of sharing with you.)
Understandably, no person or marriage is perfect, and some marriages fail and must end for obvious and necessary reasons; however, the overwhelming majority of marriages (and families for that matter) could be saved if both partners put forth more effort to implement these few foundations . The Husband also need be accountable in the Leadership capacity which has seemingly almost died off forcing women to take on this role.
1) Absolutely No Pornography: This must be at the top of the list because it is unquestionably the leading contributor to unhappy and unsuccessful marriages in our current day. While women can (and increasingly are) victims as well, the majority of perpetrators are of course men. Commit now to never look or get involved. Realize that each of us are daily tempted (commercials, TV shows, advertisements, websites, etc) � so develop the habit today to just �turn away immediately.� If already addicted, get help now! Looking at this filth will lead to impure thoughts, which lead to actions, which lead to habits, which result in marriages failing and families being torn apart.
2) Date Nights: Men, when was the last time you took your wife out on a date? Do you make time and actually schedule in regular date nights? And perhaps more importantly, while on a date, do you participate in entertainment that contributes to building and strengthening your relationship, or entertainment that promotes infidelity, selfishness, and lust? Make time for each other � just be together, talk, listen, laugh, express affection and appreciation, and do it consistently.
3) Enjoy & Make the Most of Today: We need to stop waiting for future events to come and heal our present day problems; for when those events come, they become the present problems, and we go on waiting for future remedies. Are you waiting for that next pay raise, promotion, or bigger house to actually be happy? Never fall victim to the false securities of materialism. None of those things will lead to a happy and successful marriage. Enjoy now, and make time now to share and spend time with your wife and don't wait for the perfect time because it's now.
4) Financial Trust, Openness, and Honesty: We each have heard many times that finances are one of the leading causes of divorce today. While that is true, the reality is that the finances are not the problem � it is selfishness, integrity, and lack of communication that is the problem. Every couple needs to budget, be extremely open with and communicate about finances, and be honest with each other. More importantly however, couples need to live within their means and rid from their minds the cultural pressure of �keeping up with the Jones.� Women would do well to decipher between �wants� and �needs,� and focus less on how much her man makes and more on how well he manages that money. Men would do well to be equal and open with their partner about their finances, and live and teach his family more about saving and how it is actually good to occasionally go without. Oh and how about stop wanting more toys and the wife gets maybe a pair of shoes....
5) Men � You Can Do More: Every man reading this should ask themselves these questions: when was the last time I helped with the dishes, the laundry, or the house cleaning? Are changing diapers, giving the kids a bath, and cooking meals a woman�s responsibility? And - is my responsibility around the house limited to only yard work? Let me be clear in suggesting to (and telling) men that if they want a happy and successful marriage, they had better help more with the dishes, house cleaning, changing diapers, reading stories at bedtime, and cooking a meal for their wife � all this in addition to the yard work responsibilities.
6) We are Different: It is a common story to hear how happy and compatible a couple was during courtship, and yet not too long after the wedding it seems that there were characteristics, habits, and weaknesses that somehow were not revealed during the time they were dating. For every couple that has ever been married � we collectively say: �Welcome to Marriage.� The greatest challenge in any marriage is not in finding the right person, but in becoming the right person. We each need to spend less time trying to change our partner into who we want or expect them to be and more time appreciating their differences and strengths, helping them with their weaknesses, and realizing that the person looking at you in the mirror is probably very selfish and even to the point of never giving the wife a compliment. Look for and dwell on the good � and remember it was Benjamin Franklin who said: �Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.�
7) Love is an Action: Love may start as a thought, an attraction, kind words, and romantic feelings � but true love and lasting love requires effort, patience, understanding, unselfishness, and daily action. In fact, there are few people that can justifiably say that they �fell out of love� because the majority of people who �fall out of love� actually failed to continue to put forth effort, and focused more on their own needs rather than the best interest of their spouse and children. Marriage requires us to fall in love many times � with the same person! And never forget the wisdom expressed in this quote: �newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reason that families work.�
8) Hold Your Tongue � Kindness in Word: Speak kind words. Compliment more. Uplift always. Thank daily. And learn to hold your tongue. There should never be any verbal abuse in any marriage (or emotional and physical abuse as well, of course). Men � you must treat, think of, and speak to your partner as an equal. And, if either one of you ever become frustrated, irritated, or angry � learn to allow TIME to be a friend by �cooling off� and reacting maturely, kindly, and appropriately after you have regained composure and can act/speak kindly.This is your wife and she deserves the best love and kindness we can find in us.
9) Commitment in Thoughts & Action: It is not enough to be committed and true to your spouse in word and deed only. Much more difficult and important it is to be committed and true in thought! Impure thoughts lead to impure actions, which all too often unfortunately result in fornication and yet another marriage and family being torn apart. Keep your thoughts clean and true to your spouse. Ensure all your conversations and actions foster love and trust for the one you love and need to be committed to. In addition, both partners need also to do their part to stay attractive to each other (trying to impress and look good for your partner shouldn�t stop after you say �I Do�). The reward for commitment is not self-denial, but true happiness. Contrastingly, covetousness results in guilt, misery, mental anguish, family destruction, marital unhappiness, and often financial ruin.
10) You Must Have God in Your Relationship: I certainly recognize and respect the fact that not everyone reading this shares the same beliefs that I do but seriously Men need to take control as leaders of the family whether there are children involved or not. Those that know not can find in Gods word and Prayers, we need to start now today.
Successful and happy marriages require sacrifice, effort, and patience. Love is an action, not simply a feeling! And yet, despite the work and change required, marriage can also produce the greatest joy, satisfaction, and accomplishment life has to offer.
This is not Posted to make men angry but to understand we have failed and must do more and better or we will fail again .
Since Women was tempted first Dave...Ifin she be a Wise Women taday...She would diffinately know better...and Ifin an When a Man finds such a Wise Women...When she be talkin...He best be listenin...jus a lil Food fer thaught...:ROFL:...xo
As to the title, I think males have not failed in leadership but they have fallen short.
Fallen short towards God being their Leader and their Head.
This world would be a much better place if male leaders would have submitted to that.
Both in marriage and in other natural leading positions, men fail because they lead with their gut instead of being led by God.
It is not a matter of women submitting to men. It simply is a matter of men submitting to God.
Until now, the only male leaders who really submit to God are reverends, pastors, bishops etc etc.
But that is not enough. Presidents, Captains of Industry, CEO�s, Researchers, Scientists, Lawyers, Judges, Doctors, etc. etc etc. They all need a new Ethic!
And as fathers and husbands.... yes, they need to incline more towards God and lead their wives and children in it!
My prayers go out to you as this is a real challenge! I think all women would support you but the first step is yours. Could you please hurry to make it? The world is crying out for new leaders in Christ.
Everybody is falling short. That's kinda the problem. Men are bigger targets at the moment because they are supposed to be the spiritual leaders. If the roles were reversed, and women were the spiritual leaders since the fall of our race...do you think it would be different? Nope. Why? Because we're not alone. There is a being in this world trying to destroy us.
lol...if you say so...but power corrupts, and I don't know about anyone else, but I sure am seeing a lot of woman, with their "license to dominate", turning into egotistical "men". I'm not saying men and women aren't different...I'm saying that if women would have been the ones that had the responsibility to be leaders, Satan would be working on women like he's working on men. It would be the same problems, just with different ways to mess up...because men and women think differently. Pride is the problem...and I'm sorry to say...pride doesn't stick to gender boundaries.
Mark shared ~ I'm saying that if women would have been the ones that had the responsibility to be leaders, Satan would be working on women like he's working on men.
Mark ~ Satan HATES Women an this is why�..
Gen 3 :14 ~ And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
15 And I will put *** enmity between thee and the woman, ***( Betwix Satan & Eve ) and between thy seed and her seed; ( Betwixt Satans & Eves Offspring/Generations ) {{ it }} ( Lamb of GOD/Jesus ) shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. ( Lamb of GOD/Jesus )�
Regardless of Gender Roles, Pride, Egos the list goes on�OUR Battle should not be betwixt OUR selves�Men an Women but together against SATAN�.xo
I am not so much interested in the issue of marriage but more in looking at today�s world. The world which has been ruled by the leadership of men.
This is not about what would have happened if women would have been granted leadership.
This is about what has acutally happened when men took this leadership upon themselves.
satan is a strong and powerful adversary but is he as strong as our LORD; where in the bible has Jesus been beaten? Is it not that we do not want to submit to His will, rather than that we are unable to because of satan?
The bible is clear about who is to rule over the woman and you will find no woman trying to deny it.... but it never meant to say overrule or rule out.
I do not know of any female movement that wants to kick men out or dominate them. I know of a lot of women who want to be listened at, be taken seriously and want to participate before God in life and its choices.
If men want to be true leaders, then they must submit to Christ. If not, this world will be one suffering planet (which it already is in many places)
For ages and ages, men have made believe that the problem was the women being seduced by the snake. But then remains the question, if women never had any leadership, how come we have the world we have?
I am not blaming men, I am asking them to do what only they, as leaders, can do: submit to Christ.
the lawyer, doctor, CEO, etc etc will get a new ethic which benefits life.
I wasn't talking about marriage either...but anyway......there are women and "womanly groups" that don't like men much. I've seen'em. And I don't blame them. I just think it's pretty obvious that men are targets. Just like marriage. Do you think marriage has been a target for Satan? Why? Because it's God's preferred method. Satan is actively attempting to turn everything "Godly" upside down. Anyway. Bad men. Evil, horrible, failed men. Agreed. What I'm trying to say is...if women had been the leaders with the power...do you think the world would be all tea parties and flowers? No war? No pain? I don't think so. Satan and sin are here. Anything God sets up is a huge target for an attack of Satan. That's all I'm trying to say. If God had set women up as leaders, Satan would have attacked them into degeneracy just like he's doing with men. Men have been under attack...just like marriage...just like the bible...just like anything else God has set up. It's not Satan's fault that men failed, but I think his efforts sure made it easier. Anyway...just be nice and merciful...it might be helpful to help your brothers with their weakness. And by "help" I don't mean "take over". I just mean...maybe give men some reasons to take that huge responsibility back on their shoulders. I know women like to think it's easy to be a man, and it is easy to the typical man right now, but not when you have the responsibility to "be Christ". That's kinda scary...and hard...and even harder to do it right. Humbly and without force. And women have to submit to Christ too...it's not a gender specific thing. Men just have that extra responsibility to be a symbol of Jesus in their leadership role.
