I have tried online dating, but haven't ever been successful with it. I had a bad experience recently and it hurt me. I met a guy from another Christian dating site that said he wanted to get to know me and was interested in me. We talked for a month and half. We actually had a whole lot in common. We talked on the telephone a few times and had a lot of laughs. There were times when he would not talk to me for days, but he would always come back and say something to me. He would call me beautiful and say sweet things to me. He actually called me the girl of his dreams. Then, suddenly, he does not send me messages or calls anymore. I sent him a message telling him I was worried about him. He replies back when saying "Quit talking to me." He said it was not anything to do with me. He does not want any relationship. I kindly said I would be his friend after reading his message. He never relied back either.
What do you all think about this? If you are truly a Christian, you do not act like that. I have always been sweet and kind. It's hard after having such a great time getting to know him and then suddenly he acts like this. I know a lot of people have probably went through something like this before.
If you have any advice for me on the next time I get to know someone, I'd love to hear what you would say.
I can only guess at his reasons, and not knowing either of you, your guess would be better than mine. Sometimes things blow up in your face for no apparent reason, and if you know you didn't get it wrong, and he's saying the same, there's not really a lot you can "change" for next time...
Grieve for the lost relationship, ask God to mend your heart, mind and soul; when you're ready again you'll know.
So sorry to hear of your sad experience online. I have to say that there's quite a few of us that have had bad experiences also. I know that I have. As you can see, not everyone on these Christian Websites are Christians. So please be very careful and try not to fall for the guy too quickly, no matter what sweet words they tell you. And I think the best way to get to know someone is NOT online, but in person. So, if possible try to find someone that lives close enough to you so you can get to know each other. Trust in the Lord to help you through this and ask him for guidance. God bless you.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't think there is anything you can change that will guarantee that this won't happen again. You just have to move forward and realize that online dating is not so much different from real-life dating...you'll still meet jerks, you'll still meet creeps, you'll still meet frauds, and you'll still meet some really great guys too.
I had a pretty had online experience about two months ago. Last fall, I joined one of the larger paid sites that matches people based on "29 dimensions of compatibility." (You can probably guess which site that is!) The first few guys that I talked to on there seemed to have very little relationship potential for a variety of reasons. Then I started talking to someone who DID seem to have a lot of potential. We talked online for a couple weeks, then he asked if he could call me. I was thrilled that he asked, and we talked on the phone a few days later. That conversation lasted for nearly 2 hours, and was simply wonderful. We had similar interests, beliefs, values, morals, etc. Plus, he seemed like a really nice guy.
There was one thing that bothered me, though. He said that he hadn't always lived a very Godly life, and that there were things in his past that he wasn't proud of. He assured me that these things occurred before he was a Christian, and that he would tell me more about it once we knew each other better. At first, I was ok with that. After all, if it was in his past, and if he is a different person now because of what God did in his life, who was I to judge? But something just kept bothering me. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I felt that he hadn't been totally honest with me. Maybe it was that a small, seemingly insignificant detail on his profile was completely changed while we were in communication...the change made him more attractive to me, so I really noticed it. I was considering driving about 3-4 hours to meet him, so I needed to be SURE that he really was who he said he was, and that I would be safe if I made the trip to see him.
So I Googled him. All I had to put in was his name and city, and what I found out was shocking. His "past" was still occurring about 2 weeks before he contacted me online. That past involved multiple arrests and drug charges. There were other charges as well, but those are the ones that really stood out to me. He hadn't even had his court hearing yet for the most recent arrest.
I confronted him with what I'd found, and he confessed everything to me. Supposedly, he'd gotten saved in prison after the most recent arrest, and turned his life around. I think he was probably telling me the truth, but I told him that he needed to focus on his walk with God. I was not the girl for him.
So you see, we all have our really bad online experiences! Fortunately, there are also really good guys online, like the guy I met a couple weeks later and have been dating for the past month. :applause:
Hi there. I just read your message here and I had bad experience too. It's hard to trust men nowadays. I only want to meet friends at the moment. But let's put it this way: We may not understand why things such as that are happening when we know our intention here is purely to be loved and to love. But let's wait for the right. In God's perfect time. Things happen for a reason.
How curious. Do you really believe everything happens for a reason? I find that many people say this as though it is encouraging, but I worry that it causes people to become very passive.
To the original poster: my inclination is to believe that the online nature of this relationship led this person to view it as more of a "Plan B" that he could use to feel validated should his real-life romantic endeavours fail to work out. His sporadic contact, not to mention his sudden disappearance, would indicate this. You were convenient for him when he needed to feel needed, and he strung you along to fall back on in the event that something better didn't come along. It did, and so he was gone.
I would be very cautious about attributing too much commitment or importance to exclusively-online romantic relationships in the beginning stages - the beginning stages being ANY stage in which you haven't met in person.
Thank you all for the sweet words and advice for me. I did not ever get to meet this guy. We've only text and talked on the phone a few times for a month.
I know God is working on something great for me. As of right now, I just want friendship and see how it goes from there. I think since I've had this experience, I will know what to look for.
Meeting someone to date on an online dating site in some instances don't work out in many of us favor. They are good people everywhere, even online, and people online do date, fall in love, and get married. However, this isn't the case with everyone. Everyone experience is different. Most people may not find the ideal person to date or the "love of their lives" at an online dating site. You could be the nicest and sweetest girl in the world but this doesn�t exclude you from running into losers. It is part of life. You're going to meet some really nice people online and in person (offline). If this man doesn't want to talk to you anymore, "let him be." Don't try to be his friend. Move on. Try meeting more men offline at social events or the church as more men of character may be in those setting. Good luck again.
Your still blessed. More fortunate because you didnt meet him after all.. I also had an experience not really similar to you but almost. He is also a Christian which is a plus for me..
Just like you,we chatted,change mails, and even meet and had fun together. But after that things change..unknowingly He already had fallen for someone else that he was chatting online for years. He ended the relationship just because for the reason that we are not compatible. =)
Things do happen unexpectedly. It doesn't mean that when things go smoothly,everything is ok. All I can say is that dont fall for someone right away just because of sweet words or small efforts through there spare time with you. Even you have already fall for that person,know really well the person first and if that person is really intentional...So that in the end.when things goes like you didnt expect...it wont hurt that much..
I encourage you and some ladies out there not to give up on love... Cause love will just find you...
