Each and every woman have their own unique personality, looks, and other attributes that endear themselves to men. Usually men will make the first move as a sign of interest, whether it be just for friendship, romance, conversation, fellowship, etc. But what triggers women to be interested, whether it be for friendship, romance, correspondence, or merely a courtesy reply? I realize that even though this is a Christian website, there would be certain people that really dont belong here with the way they approach and talk to other people. Friendships & other relationships blossom with communication. You cant keep pronouncing how much you love Christ and how He has transformed you and yet your actions, or oftentimes inactions prove otherwise. I have approached several women, merely for friendships, because I believe love and romance doesnt happen on the spot; half of them responded in a mature christian way; half of them responded simply by reading the message and ignoring. Hopefully this topic hits people who promote themselves as christians, and yet completely ignores the fact that being a christian involves actions too. In any case, we must always ask ourselves, WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
I like the way you asked this question and the conversation you wrote around the topic. I was just searching the topics myself and debating about posted a question such as: Why don't most people respond on here? (to me in particular..lol).
The first thing I want (in regards to this site) is for men to respond to friendly emails I send out. Yes, my profile says looking for a marriage partner (and maybe that scares some off), but when I write, I'm saying 'hello' not 'will you marry me?' (lol) I also believe you should at least respond and say hello if you receive an email.
To answer your question---(This is assuming the man is a Christian first), then---I want a man to communicate back and forth with me, one I can even write and discuss the Word of God with, and one who's ACTIONS line up with the Word of God. You were so true in saying some actions of 'Christians' aren't always there. Communication is key in any relationship building. If you can't move pass the 'hello', you'll never be able to say you've met another Christian chatter, let alone 'friend.'
So that's my 2 cents. Thanks for psoting this question. Women, what other things are you looking for assuming the man is a Christian?
Well it's nice to see that the issue of not responding to emails flows both ways-male and female. I think you make an excellent point in stating that it's not very Christian like to not respond to emails. I try to make a point to reply to any and everyone who contacts me. Although, I have not always received the same courtesy here on the site. In regards to what do women want...this woman wants someone who is a Christ follower, honest, doesn't go missing in action, able to communicate about spiritual & natural matters, etc. You get the point.
Excellent question. I think that over the years women really get set in the type of man that they would consider for a relationship - and even for a friendship. I think a lot of women are really cautious in who they choose to speak to. And like you say, this is a Christian website, but you can�t really be sure of someone�s real intentions with why they are on the site - man or woman.
I know I really don�t like it when I get the messages from guys that are just like �hey, you wanna chat?� I like a message that is at least somewhat a little more personal & definitely just friendly and also faith-based. But I will always give at least some type of response.
You are absolutely correct when you said �Friendships & other relationships blossom with communication.� I�ve had good experiences with this site along with some that were just bizarre. But you can never know what to expect.
You said a good bit yourself that would help men understand what women want and evidently there are women who agree, myself included. Communication and active. I could say all day that I love Christ on here, but that doesn't tell if I'm worshipping the same Christ of the Bible. In fact, many Christians either cherry-pick, dispensate or completely disregard the Bible.
Personally though, I'm a little put off because of overeagerness. I've not lived in a good place or time (considering America's history) and can't help but think after all these experiences, "What does this person REALLY want from me?" I'd rather see an intelligent reply and possibly some good spelling. ;) I will try to answer emails, but sometimes I don't right away because the response I have isn't worth filling up their mailbox, but I intend to as soon as possible.
Also, I don't respond to winks that much. At most you will get a wink back, but either I ignore it or forget to check. This might not be the same for all women, but just offering my two cents.
Okay, I'm the naughty one. I don't respond to all emails. There are conditions, that to me, warrant no response.
1.) You give me your phone number in the first email. Uh...nope.
2.) You give me your personal email or IM address in the first email - this screams SPAMMER.
2.) I get home, check my email and find four (or more) messages from you in the same day - when we have never to this point had any contact. To me, that says either stalker or controlling.
3.) You wink at me. I don't respond to winks. What does that mean? You like me? You thought my profile was amusing? You want to be friends? You have something stuck in your eye?
4.) You write something like "I'd like to get to know you better." Better stick in a more specific question - maybe that sounds really mean, but my profile has many things to comment on: I list self employed, but not what I do - I have a picture posted with a guy and have "If you want to know about this picture, ask me" written in my profile - these are both good ways to strike up a conversation. "I'd like to get to know you better" is generic and could possibly be a quick line that has also just been sent to 15 other women. I like to get the feeling that someone has actually read my profile before writing to me.
Whoops, hit the wrong button before I was finished. Lol
I guess I'm the odd duck. I would rather send a message to a guy and have him not respond at all, rather than have a collection of "After reading your profile, I don't think we'd be a good match" emails in my inbox. I think that would get discouraging after awhile. However, if I ask someone something SPECIFIC or Biblically related, then I think a response is in order (and vice versa.) Example would be: "What kind of dog is that in the picture you have posted?" If the guy writes back, "It's a schnauzer" with nothing following, then I know he has answered my question and is no longer interested in going on with the conversation. However, if he writes "It's a schauzer - are you an animal lover?" then he has asked me a question back to get the conversation going.
Alright. I'm done. Lol Gonna hit the button again.
I think for me, it's about approach. You can learn some things about a person just by observation.. Also we gals talk (i know we have the gift of gab, some of us!), we network sort a speak. I means asking others especially those whose opinion we value, regarding a certain guy. Some of us want to know more about someone before pursuing anything.
I hear rejection is hard for guys (us too) but it is a compliment when i guy initiates/interested even if we're not. I mean to say not to take it too hard or to give up. Some gals can be shallow, and they're ones you probably don't want to be with if you're looking for a mature friendship etc. There may be a reason for things not going the way you'd like. Christ might want your eyes more focused on him at present, But he knows our needs and desires, our heart better than we do, don't give up hope.
