This is a serious question. I have been trying to find a virtuous woman my entire adult life. Even the single women in my church seem preoccupied with money and status. They all seem to be looking for "bad boys".
As a Christian man, I refuse to accept a woman who, after sleeping with half the men in town, suddenly decides that she wants a good man.
Ive worked hard all my life and tried by best to be a virtuous man. Now, when I am able to support a wife and family, there are no virtuous women left.
The whole point of deception is to conceal the truth from those that want it - you may be able to find court records of a potential partner's previous marriages or divorces, but with co-habitating now becoming more popular, there may be no paper trail to chase. Unless you can speak to people who've known them for many years you've only really got what they say to go on.
Having said that, DHTM does have a point: not everybody grew up in a Christian home and learning Christian values (I certainly didn't), and some of the strongest Christians around are those whom you wouldn't have thought it possible of years before (Nicky Cruz ring a bell?). Now some people believe that doesn't wipe out their past, and certainly in the eyes of the law that's true and there are dues to be paid, but with God it really is true and we are new creations in Christ - witness of the parable of the workers all being paid the same whether they started early in the day or at the eleventh hour. Heck, even Paul was doubted by the early church based on his past record!
I suppose what I'm trying to say, in a roundabout way, is that you may never know a persons' true past, and even if you did, it doesn't set things in stone for the future (this goes both ways as even the righteous can fall), so take them based on what you can see now; do they have that fire in their heart to love people like Jesus does? Are they passionate about serving Him? Do they love to spend time in prayer and praise? Or are they ambivalent about most of it, maybe with enthusiasm just for worship and "meh" about the rest of it? Do they put their own goals ahead of the collective good? Are they willing to do the 'small' sins that society doesn't bat an eyelid to?
Spend time with a person and you'll know if they're virtuous or not!
You still seem to be confusing vitrue with morality, dkj255.
Show me in the Bible where Jesus says it is ok to marry an adulteress? Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus contradict Himself like that. It doesnt say, "Thou shalt not marry a woman who has been put away for adultery...unless she repents, then it okey-dokey".
And for the record virtuous means "with virtue". If a woman has given away her virtue, she has given away her virginity!
This isn't the best example, but there is at least one account of God literally telling a prophet to marry an un-virtuous woman.
Hosea 1
2The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD. 3So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim; which conceived, and bare him a son.
Ezekiel 33:11
12 Therefore, thou son of man, say unto the children of thy people, The righteousness of the righteous shall not deliver him in the day of his transgression: as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall thereby in the day that he turneth from his wickedness; neither shall the righteous be able to live for his righteousness in the day that he sinneth.
13 When I shall say to the righteous, that he shall surely live; if he trust to his own righteousness, and commit iniquity, all his righteousnesses shall not be remembered; but for his iniquity that he hath committed, he shall die for it.
14 Again, when I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; if he turn from his sin, and do that which is lawful and right;
15 If the wicked restore the pledge, give again that he had robbed, walk in the statutes of life, without committing iniquity; he shall surely live, he shall not die.
16 None of his sins that he hath committed shall be mentioned unto him: he hath done that which is lawful and right; he shall surely live.
17 Yet the children of thy people say, The way of the Lord is not equal: but as for them, their way is not equal.
18 When the righteous turneth from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, he shall even die thereby.
19 But if the wicked turn from his wickedness, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall live thereby.
20 Yet ye say, The way of the Lord is not equal. O ye house of Israel, I will judge you every one after his ways.
Also, we were all enemies of Christ at one point, but Christ has forgiven us and "married" Himself to us. The examples of Israel and God in the OT showed that God was constantly taking Israel back, even though they committed adultery with other "gods" countless times. Is it so important that your future wife is a virgin? What if you find a virgin, and then she tells you she has lusted after another man in her heart? Personally, it seems like a woman who had made a mistake and turned from her past ways would be more humble, more merciful, and more virtuous. I'm not implying that you HAVE to marry someone who is not a virgin, but it's not Christ-like to hold a committed christian to their past sins. Maybe God is withholding such a person from you until you learn that lesson, otherwise all that "rightness" may tend to give you too much pride and you might fall into the "condemnation of the devil".
Can you show me a place in the bible where it says this?
"A woman cheats on her husband and he divorces her. She later repents of her sin and is forgiven, she still can not marry. Although her sin has been forgiven, she is still not virtuous."
I can't find anything that says a born again, truly repentant, chaste woman cannot remarry if she is born again.
Firstly, there's this:
Isaiah 1:18
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
But also, apparently there is some kind of exception if the man/woman was an unbeliever.
1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
I can find many places where it lists adultery as a sin, but not that they can never remarry.
Deuteronomy 24
1When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 3And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 4Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Matthew 5
31It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Judgment is being placed not on someone remarrying but on someone remarrying after pursuing an illegitimate divorce. If the divorce is invalid, so is the remarriage. But the reverse is also true: if the divorce is valid, then remarriage must be acceptable.
God told Hosea to marry Gomer as an example to Israel. Israel had "prostituted" itself to false gods and idolatry.
Im not Hosea and God has given me no such command. And the fact that someone uses this as an example is disturbing. I do not have to "prove" my righteousness. I am under the Grace. It is as if youre saying "If you were a real Chistian you would go out and marry a harlot". That, in and of itself, is incorrect thinking.
I will not send my soul to Hell so that someone can "feel good about themselves". If men and women had some self control and didnt just hop into bed, or marriage, with the first person they lusted after, this world would be a much better place.
Well, many christian people do not know what means a virtuous woman. She is a good administrator of all God gave her, and makes to produce these goods with work and perseverance. Her main job is care of her family, building a safe future for them. She serves her husband with love and respect as Sara served to Abraham. She teaches everyday the commandments of the Lord to her children, not only with words, with her example. She honors God in everything she does, and God honors her, through of praises of her husband, children and people. She does all these things because fears God.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue."
Proverbs 31:25, 26
Check out the word "dignity" it means she is chaste in her attitudes, and the way she dressed, as the apostle Paul said. No matter she is single, married or widow
"I will not send my soul to Hell so that someone can "feel good about themselves"."
I'm not telling you to marry a harlot, I gave that example to contradict your statement that God would never tell someone to marry an un-virtuous person. I'm trying to show you that there are all kinds of extenuating circumstances, therefore you should not be so quick to judge. If you marry a repentant/virtuous woman who is not a virgin you are not going to hell, and it's pretty offensive to imply that. You have every right not to marry a person who is no longer a virgin, but you should not treat those people as "broken" if God has healed them. If you lied once, should I treat you as a liar after you've turned from your lying and God has forgiven you? If I did, I'm sure you would rightly throw "the Book" at me. A Christian should be known by their fruits and not by their past. The idea that someone who was not virtuous can never be virtuous again is flatly against Christianity and everything it teaches.
No one is trying to take your pearls, it'd just be nice if you weren't so disparaging about someone's new pearls. Can I ask you where you got your pearls from?
And if I haven't said it before, I understand how you feel, I have managed to hang onto my "pearls" AND find a "virtuous" woman as well, so I know just how far from normal that is these days, but, you're taking that concept and casting shame on everyone who hasn't lived up to that standard, even if those people are repentant Christians who are living virtuous lives. If you have any sin that you've repented from, you ought to be understanding and merciful. Maybe you haven't committed fornication or adultery, but your sin deserves death just like mine does, just like everybody else.
"O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord."
And in reality, like the woman who washed Jesus' feet, whoever is forgiven much, loves much. I know a "virtuous" man who married a woman with a slightly sordid history. He accepted that she was repentant and changed into Christ's likeness, and the love and loyalty that she responds with is enviable. One might say that she is the more virtuous wife.
