i am on several online dating sites, and the social scientist prophet in me continues to see a recurring pattern.... a pattern that does not point to the character of the Christ.
there are SO MANY God fearing men seeking a Godly woman, yet when they (i) put their trust in Jesus, and send a message..... and in replay, these sons of God, get ignored, and or blocked so that they can never send another message....
so.... social science question #1... can anyone provide passages in the bible why this behavior is CURRENTLY accepted as being"Christ-like"?
social science question #2.... if the actions on the cross shows us that our God is a God of second, third, and forth chances (if not more depending on how many times a person is truly willing to repent), how is NOT giving a guy at least one or two chances, COPYING Jesus' example?
social science question #3a and 3b.... at want point in this current bent culture, do you believe that it became standard practice to replace grace, mercy, and forgiveness toward another sibling in God's kingdom; with ignoring and blocking AS FIRST RESORT? and how does jumping to the conclusion that would result in a ignoring and blocking represent anyone AS emotionally mature for a relationship?
I am sorry to hear that you had a bad experience on these dating sites... I have also had a number of observations. One of my observations is that women receive a lot more messages than men. I wonder why? LOL
Anyway, how people react to your messages has a lot to do with how you present yourself. If you start by saying, "I have been in prison for 5 years, but please give me a second chance!" then women might not want to experiment with you. Just like if lab results show that a certain drug is not working, because it causes blindness, then people will not want to take that drug if the label says, "This drug causes blindness, but please try it." It's all about marketing. If you want to prove that you are a good person or people should give you a second chance, then perhaps you should not talk about your dirty past (if it's bad). Talk about your advantages. Show your good qualities. Everybody has some bad qualities, but clever and successful people know how to present their good qualities FIRST and talk about bad news last. Tell the good news first and bad news last. :-)
By the way, although we are all Christians (or most of us are), not every Christian lives a holy life. So, it is wrong to assume that every Christian you meet is a perfect Christian who acts and thinks perfectly just like Jesus. We're not Jesus. In Matthew 5:48, Jesus said, "You shall be perfect, just as your Father in Heaven is perfect." I'm afraid, none of us can measure up to that. We try our very best, and once we are born again, we don't sin. But that doesn't mean we are PERFECT in every way. Each of us has areas where we need improvement, and sometimes the improvement takes some time. It can be more like a process rather than an instant thing. Anyway, my point is it is wrong to assume that all Christians are perfect. We all struggle with some things. Some people have fear. Some have prejudice. Some people struggle with anger. Some try to quit smoking. The list is endless. So, the word "Christian" doesn't necessarily mean that the person is already perfect. It describes a person who is in progress, who is improving, who is trying to live a holy life that is pleasing God.
I am also sorry that you have had these experiences. You are not the only one. Let me give you some personal insight, may you gain some new understanding and some peace. I have also had my share of what you have experienced. And I have learned to just not worry about it: God controls absolutely everything. The people whom never responded to me or whom stopped communicating with me after a period of communication--that is exactly how God planned it. And I learned something new from each one of those attempts. I believe God will eventually bring into my life my future husband, my perfect match, the man I was made for. And it is going to happen sooner or later. It is my desire that it'd happen sooner of course, but if it happens later, I will be equally grateful (for I am confident that it's going to happen when it's meant to happen). When I gave myself to God, the first desire of my heart was to find out what purpose God has given me on this Earth (with regards to His Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth). To discover the purposes God has assigned to me here on this Earth, I underwent a process, filled with: many tests, many temptations, revelations, divine confirmations, new understandings, and shedding of many old ways and old understandings. I recently received this revelation: The man I was made for, my perfect match--we both have the same purpose here on this Earth. I am to be his helper, in a shared joint mission. We all have a purpose on this Earth with regards to God's Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth. Following the example of Adam and Eve: Adam's mission needed Eve and together they shared a joint mission here on Earth. Brother in Christ, may the woman God made just for you, the one who shares your same purpose here on Earth--may she, sooner, rather than later step into your life. And may you both receive many divine confirmations to affirm that you are both indeed made for each other.
Well most woman receive more messages than men because of a combination of them thinking the guy must make the first move and thinking that the right guy will just magically show up saying the right words when all they themselves show a pretty face and a generic nice seeming sentence... nvm how illogical that is given how online dating works and that this is garunteed to almost only attract scammers or superficial men. Those idiots I just ignore, life is too short to have to play emotional tooth-puller with every second woman you see.
A lot of the actually fleshed out profiles I see are other idiots looking for worldly qualities like tall/dark/ambitious/handsome/etc, the direct equivalent of a man looking for pretty/submissive/cook/trophy/etc. The "modern christian woman" seems obsessed with money and power and equating her level of physical attractiveness to how much of a measure of this she is entitled to just like all the other heathens. Woman have been forced into a certain level of new equality with men relationship wise but are blindly refusing to take responsibility for any of it's burdens for obvious selfish reasons... nothing comes without price and you cant be a classical "lady" and have masculine rights at the same time.
Christ did not date, for a more direct example you have to look to how courtship happened over the entire span of the bible. Copying any of it directly would be missing the point given how social conditions have changed. Also Adam did not make the first move, God did. A woman is only "immoral" (the more accurate word was censored) if she is fickle flirting from man to man and should approach men she finds possible good matches... we cannot read minds especially over the internet.
question #1... can anyone provide passages in the bible why this behavior is CURRENTLY accepted as being"Christ-like"?
the basic response has been that no one can provide any answers from the bible, the standard of life coming from the Father Himself. instead, the response has been justification for a behavioral style that is not advocated in the bible: "women get more messages, therefore they have the privilege to disrespectful to men online." or, "nor everyone who claims to be a christian on here is not REALLY a christian... therefore holding anyone on here to the standard of 'being known by your love for one another' is a fool's errand."
its like selfishness has taken control of the responses from women on these sites, yet everyone wants to claim that selfishness is "Godly behavior", when in fact is it the idol of putting one's self above the standard that your GOD calls His followers to behave. what does the most basic form of love look like on a online dating site? ignoring people "just because" does not demonstrate love.....
yet no one can explain how church teaching has gotten SO MESSED UP that what the bible says is an improper way to behave, is ignored "just because women get more emails...."
question #2.... if the actions on the cross shows us that our God is a God of second, third, and forth chances (if not more depending on how many times a person is truly willing to repent), how is NOT giving a guy at least one or two chances, COPYING Jesus' example?
again... not answered. one of the guys who answered (in a ASK A GIRL section) tried to explain this with a hypothetical about a guy in prison, wanting a second chance....
the situation is like this..... guys try to get into girls pants online. girls get super defensive, therefore they treat EVERY GUY LIKE THE PLAYERS JUST TRYING TO GET SOME. this is why the justification for selfishness can look like it has some merit, from the female perspective, so long as THEOLOGICAL LOGIC is not applied. now the second, third, forth, etc chances that was discussed in question #2, was just concerning giving a guy another chance, when he has messed up..... that aspect cant apply here, when the women EVEN REFUSE TO GIVE THE FIRST CHANCE. because of how OTHER MEN treated them in the past.
if a guy doesn't type the "right" thing.... NO CHANCE FOR HIM.
if a guy doesn't have a good paying job.... NO CHANCE FOR HIM,
if a guy is not perfect in every way.... NO CHANCE FOR HIM.
i mean... all of this just demonstrates an idolatry that the women have that they trust in themselves more than trusting in God. THIS is where the forgiveness and additional chances really come in... because it is not the males that these woman have to give additional chances to.... IT IS GOD THAT THESE WOMEN HAVE TO FORGIVE AND GIVE ADDITIONAL CHANCES.
every time that a woman ignores, and acts selfishly.... she just demonstrates that she doesn't trust God, over her relationships.... that she trusts in her own understanding, (thus contradicting proverbs 3:5)...
where are the woman that DEMONSTRATE their trust in God, BY WAY OF their responding to messages sent?
question #3a and 3b.... at want point in this current bent culture, do you believe that it became standard practice to replace grace, mercy, and forgiveness toward another sibling in God's kingdom; with ignoring and blocking AS FIRST RESORT? and how does jumping to the conclusion that would result in a ignoring and blocking represent anyone AS emotionally mature for a relationship?
again... no answer.
there is lots of talk in the justification of this selfish idolatry behavior
interesting how the bible never brought up into this conversation... is that because if you truly devote yourself to the holy scripture, then you are either going to have to choose how the world does things (thus the current example of justification for current actions), or be challenged in your faith, and choose to do things how God says they are supposed to be done, even if the world would call you foolish for doing it that way.
After several years of refusing to join any social networks I was finally encouraged by a Christian couple at my church to 'give it a go'. All these years I thought meeting people online wasn't 'trusting God enough'. But, when you live in an area where it is hard to meet other Christians your age, what are your choices? Plus, getting to know other believers isn't wrong. In fact, it's a way to encourage other Christians and at the same time be encouraged and built up in your own faith. So, I registered on three sites and I was honest with what I wrote in my profile. I want people to know I am a Christian and that my faith is important to me. That way, if anyone chooses to message me they aren't surprised when I talk about God or ask what they believe.
Can I ask a question.. How do you know for sure the 'men seeking a godly women' are 'God fearing'? Do you know them personally?
As a Christian woman (or man) it can be hard to know who is a genuine believer until you get to know them, especially on social network when you haven't met them. There are many who just labels themselves as 'Christian'. When someone notes on their profile that they are a Christian but 'doesn't go to church' or 'only on special occasions', why would I (or you) think their faith is real. And, if they aren't willing to talk about God...? Well, I guess the only way to know if someone is genuine in their faith is to ask questions and seek wisdom from above.
Is it wrong then that I or any other woman (who's faith is important to her) would want to spend our time getting to know someone who can't even tell me what denomination they belong to or who say they can't understand why going to church is so important. Sadly I've had two or three people respond this way.
Also, as a women (or man) who isn't used to social network sites, it isn't easy messaging people I don't know for the first time. I don't want to come across as 'desperate' or have people think I'm interested in a way I'm not.
This is not an excuse for rudeness though. Just remember, not everyone will have same interests as you or me and some of us find it hard to communicate with people we've never met before (and sometimes, even with those we have met).
Addressing Q1
How is this a 'social science question' and what in fact is Christ-like behaviour?
Go to GotQuestions.org for a great article (copy the link below).
I don't know about others, but I want to be careful how I respond to emails or who I chat with on social network (which is why it took me so long to register). As I said before, I don't want to be rude to anyone or have someone believe I'm interested in them in a way I'm not. I'm also looking to befriend people closer to my age or those with a strong faith who are happy just to be friends... and this will take time.
Addressing Q2
Unfortunately we live in a fallen world and even Christians make mistakes. We aren't perfect, just forgiven.
As a women (and I'm assuming men are no different), when you have been hurt in the past (by unbelievers or believers) it can be hard to put our fears aside. Also, any women (or man) who throws caution to the wind and trusts people they don't know immediately is a fool. This does not mean the person contacting them isn't a real believer, it is just a way of protecting ourselves from those who aren't genuine.
It is so easy for people to label themselves 'Christian' now-a-days yet know nothing about God or His amazing gift of salvation (in sending Jesus to die for the forgiveness of our sins). So, be careful who you trust when it comes to social networks.
Addressing Q3a and 3#b
You've kind of answered this question yourself in your first sentence 'current bent culture'.
As I've said before, we live in a fallen world. We all "struggle with sin on a daily basis. We experience heartache and pain. We witness natural disasters and staggering loss. Injustice, inhumanity, and falsehood seem to hold sway. Discord and trouble are commonplace. None of this was God�s original plan for humanity." Quotes from another great article at GotQuestion.org (copy the link below).
https://www.gotquestions.org/fallen-world.html
While we often fail to offer grace, mercy and forgiveness when we should, God's love and forgiveness is free to all who call upon Him. He is perfect while we Christians are a 'work in progress'. We will never be fully perfect until He returns again.
Romans 3:23-24 - for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
Hebrews 10:14 - For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
Don't give up trusting the Lord and Saviour no matter how people respond to you.
It may seem hard to right away tell whether the person you are responding to is a Christian but profile can be one basis what anyone is really after. By exchanging messages you can feel if the conversation is not getting anywhere but an argument provoking you to respond honestly because Jesus never was a liar and never will be. It wouldn't be that unkind blocking people if you feel this is one way you can get out to being unkind. Photos too are important but of course you don't know who is behind those photos and it can't talk. I have read threads but some outdated and I'm not sure of this one.
I consider messaging people with interesting profile I think I can be friends with. If I don't get responses from people I messaged, it doesn't mean of course that I'm ugly or anyone of you. You can't force anyone to respond the way you want them to be or if you get no response at all, you "seek again" (Matthew 7:7).
As for people who consider themselves single but have gone through failed marriages, maybe God is telling you something. You may or not recognize His voice but of course this is up to you.
"We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." Romans 15:1-2
Rejection is one way to remind us who rejected Jesus in the past but never he got discouraged or weary. And He is still at work showing us to get up every time we fall asleep. To please his neighbor is not just by saying things he would like to hear or to sound too good to be true because that would be hypocrisy.
I don't know if any of you in this thread is active but if you like to befriend me, message me, I will not block you.
