You can wonder why you love and why you would die to love more.
Some times things make sense, and some times they shouldn't
Some times people don't make sense because you didn't.
Some times your arms are empty because they should be and
sometimes your arms are empty when they never should have been.
Some people bring out the best, other people help you hide it.
Ideas run through whats left of your mind, and you wonder
Did I? Could I? Am I? is this sunday yet?
Some times you wrestle with God. Sometimes he wrestles back.
Some times he knows you already know.
You can ask, and pray, and worry, and hope, and hurt.
You can stare him in the eye because you want something that you would lay down your life for. And He knows. Because you wouldnt have that thing unless he led your feet along that path.
He's a God of wonders, even while you wonder.
What amazes you about where you are in life is sometimes just simple.
Simple things, a simple love, a wonderful thing that you want to hold.
Sometimes hurting is as good as being in the clear.
Arms you use to reach out just don't seem to reach. But the God you love and serve can reach anything.
You want your kids to love and live and learn to love and live more.
You find someone who does all that without thinking. And more.
You love her voice. You love every day that you can call *ours*
You love every minute that led you to the minute you love because it is simply beyond you to dream how it happened.
You serve a God of love. And he loves you. And that love that you feel, you know it's from his hand because no other hand is big enough to hold what your sitting there staring at in your own small hands.
You fear, not because there is anything to fear, but because this life is full of worry.
You would think that your heart is stronger then it is, but you find yourself so weak.
You ask the people around you what to do and get a million answers.
Because none of them are your God or your woman.
If time has an end, you just hope you reach it with the right arms around you.
A little while is never forever, but when forever plays to its end, a little while means everything.
Staring at the cieling and wondering about choices you have, and have to make, you hope you will make the right choice.
It's so easy to live. So easy to take and not give. it's so easy to want all the right things and settle for half of what you want. Not because it's that easy, but because the answer to our prayers is usualy the answer to some one elses too, and all answers have thier cost.
You can think you are more then you are, you can think you have everything to offer. You can think that you are someone that would make a woman do anything to be with you. But when it all comes down to it, You're just you.
You can sit up and play your guitar and write all the love songs you want to, but if she isn't there to hear you sing about love, it just falls on the cieling.
Then you can wonder. Cause the people who really know you, who have known you, know more about your then you do about yourself. They try to reassure you, they try to offer arms, but the only arms you want around you are empty somewhere.
So you sit. and you wonder, you pray, you try to promise all the right things to someone who isnt there to hear you. God hears you, and he knows, and he has already wrestled with you night after night. He knows you 10 years from now, like he knew you 10 years ago.
You can wonder. Love holds all the answers to every problem you have. It is perfect when you arent. You can make a mistake and the one who loves you loves you right through it. it never fails. I wonder where my love is.
you know, i seriously have no honest answer to any of that, i think i tried to apply the teddy bear, brush my teeth with the deoderant, and slept with the toothpaste last night. (odder things happen with 5 kids)
yeh i called her. no answer. not good.errr from my perspective anyway.
Well, i just heard from her finally. It is officially over. Thank you all for your love and advice and prayers. God used alot of you to help me prepare for this.
dear trist man, sorry bro, you seem like a feller that loves deeply.. i feel for ya. she missed out.. take a little while ,regroup and get ready to go again man.
