Christian Chat Forums | I Need Some Suggestions - CDFF | Online Community of Single Christians

Login Create New Account

Author	Thread: I Need Some Suggestions
Admin	I Need Some Suggestions Posted : 8 Apr, 2008 11:01 AM I'm in the process of getting a divorce (her choice, not mine). Now, just reading that, it doesn't sound all that good for me. Is there any way that I can get women to look past that? I mean, I know I can't convince a woman that I am not at fault...that I have to let my actions speak for me. But in these first meetings, how do I let my actions speak when all I can use are words? Any suggestions? Post Reply
View Profile History	I Need Some Suggestions Posted : 11 Apr, 2008 10:59 PM First of all, stop being insecure about what women will think of you just because of a divorce, whatever the reason. If the women you are meeting are jumping to conclusions about it before they get to know you, then I say you are meeting the wrong women. Now, as for actions, be a gentleman. Chivalry still goes a long way. At least in my book. And does the reason you are divorced really have to come up in the first few meetings? If SHE brings it up, answer honestly. But I don't see a reason you should bring it up yourself. Hope this helps, at least a little. Post Reply
Feed_the_Poor View Profile History	I Need Some Suggestions Posted : 13 Apr, 2008 10:04 AM I would avoid talking about your past marriage unless asked specific questions, then answer them honestly. In addition, I would make a point of only saying (and thinking) good things about your past wife rather than criticizing her. Obviously, there were good things about her and bad things about her (like there are about all of us). It is healthier to concentrate on the good things. The same about your marriage. There were good things and bad things about it. Concentrate and talk about the things you learned from it. If you haven't learned anything about yourself from it, you probably need to examine this issue. The main thing you want to communicate about your marriage is not that you were the good guy and your wife the bad guy, but that you have emotionally moved past the trauma and have learned from what went wrong, and that you are emotionally free to start a new relationship. Best wishes! Post Reply

View Profile History	I Need Some Suggestions Posted : 29 Apr, 2008 02:02 PM If you want to have a chance of a good relationship, even just friends, I'd strongly urge you to wait until it's a thing of the PAST, not "going through" a divorce. The best thing to do for now is (in my humble opinion) make an inventory of what you did wrong, what you did right, and what you can do better in the future. It helped me, anyway. :) Post Reply
enV23 View Profile History	I Need Some Suggestions Posted : 27 May, 2008 01:00 AM My ex husband left me, so I know what you're talking about. You want everyone to know it wasn't your choice and that you weren't at fault. Not that you're perfect, but that you did everything you could to keep her from leaving the marriage. You want everyone to know that you would have fought for your marriage with every ounce of strength in you. But, like you said in your post, your actions speak louder than words. A woman will have to get to know you. It'll take a while, but that's ok. You'll find love again. I know I will, too. Post Reply
Phoenyx View Profile History	I Need Some Suggestions Posted : 6 Apr, 2009 01:36 PM I don't think a Christian woman can, if she believes in holding to one's vows, and that a wife and husband are of one flesh. Post Reply