Be honest people... Most of you have a racial preference right? I don't really have one, but I'm usually attracted to people with lighter skin tones. However, I try to give everyone a chance.
I've noticed on this site that people may put up a great profile and talk about how godly they are, but end up ignoring the message I sent which I put time and thought into.
So I did a little detective work. I checked out profiles of people who were white (males and females) and they have a TON more people who put them in their favorites list.
Some even go on to talk about how they love a guy with blue eyes or that they will ONLY date white guys. It's very insulting to me, really.
So you favorite all the white guys and blindly ignore anyone else that could be a potential match. There's no sense in denying it, because I see the evidence.
Note: I'm just a little upset right now, so please excuse my tone if I sound a bit harsh.
Oh yeah, and then there's all the people who are my age (~20) and they only allow people like 24-30 to contact them, exalting themselves as if they're so mature and perfect.
It Depends on what you messaging them for; Are you messaging them in being romanticallly interested?
If so, YOu have to realize that you may not be want they are looking for. Glancing over at your profile, You pictures are very similiar and to generic. Many guys have rthese type of pictures in their profile and it won't do them any justice. Women are looking for something "different", something that standouts from the sheer masses of profiles they view on a day to day basis.
Try taking multiple shots displaying each side of your personality. Have SOme pictures with family, some of a hobby, an intererst, a belief you have on something (ex recycling), One at your job, one with some friends/at church, something interesting about you that doesn't fall under what's already been mention.
You have to let people have their perferences and Ideas and pray that if it is true that they do have some prejudices/racism; that god will convict them of it but they have the choice to change.
In the meantime, draw closer to christ and let him change your from the inside. Than, you'll be able to handle rejection alittle bit better and realize that she may not be the one or they're just not as friendly as you would like.
Why would I say that in the first message? I'm just giving them a friendly hello, and mentioning my faith.
Second of all, it's your opinion about my pictures; and you have no right to speak for all women. If you would even read my profile you would realize that I'm serious about God, which most people on this site aren't. The problem with this society is that they judge too much based on pictures.
People aren't apart of a sick game wherein everyone must act this way to attract the other person. I'm not going to change myself for anyone, and the girl shouldn't have to either.
Where's your picture?
How do you even know ANYTHING about my convictions? You have no idea how Godly of a man I am.
It feels like I'm in high school again. It's all a popularity contest, right? Well you can count me out. I'd rather be single and be stronger in the Lord.
Wow, I was just offering my opinion on the matter. you can either take my advice or you can politely decline. No need to get all defensive becausee I was meaning good by what i was writeing. This information was based how the complaints i've read on multiple sites and what women have said themselves, inregards to a man's profile. you can choose not to believe me and ask a woman for yourself.
Hey guy, just thought I would throw in my opinion- and one bias. This is not meant to be negative criticism but something constructive and positive.
My bias is that mixed race people have more beauty. My out there theory is that God created one beautiful race. Pride became a huge problem, so God confused their language and people groups seperated. In a prior job, I dealt with up to 160 races in one county. I did home visits and always said that the mixed race children were beautiful (and adults too i.e. Lena Horne, Lisa Bonet). It is like mixing races of color are getting back to the original one race. Anyway, I have had friends of all races and in my (not gay!) opinion, I think you have an advantage in the looks department. Put a sparkling smile on in a couple photos and tell them in a beginning sentence that you are looking for an attractive Lady. Use the gift that God gave you- display some confidence.
I did look at your profile to see if I could see something. I just met someone of the Christian Reformed church. The North American (NACRC) has doctrines that are not in the bible including infant baptism (and only for church members), and women elders and ministers. They also believe in charismatic tongues, which many believe are not found in the bible also. I did not do an exhaustive study. If ladies are aware of these NACRC doctrines that could be your biggest problem.
I just put 'non-denominational' on my profile, so people know I only go by what the bible says (and not doctrinal differences outside of the bible).
I agree with your no dating stance. But many girls do, and it is a negative statement. Maybe change it to looking forward to a nice meeting because by only meeting in person will we ever know if the real attraction is there (or how ever you want to say that you want to meet them).
Finally, when you meet someone you don't want to hear them be negative, about themselves, others, or anything. People want to have a 'nice feeling' from the encounter. It is like giving them a big smile with words in your profile. I would change every negative into a positive statement. You can keep your positions that way -- and be fun with it. Wit and a laugh will get you more incoming messages than just strong theology.
I think you would have been a great friend. Spirited. In Christ. That cool exotic look. And a Winner attitude because you are saved. Man, isn't life a great gift. Enjoy !
That wasn't really advice. That was an unrighteous judgment based on an incorrect evaluation of my profile.
"Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment." - John 7:24 (KJV)
Have you considered that there's so many women and men both who don't put up many pictures? Or the ones they put up are often uninspiring. The text of the profile defines the person, and not the pictures. I also don't care about the majority of the world thinks. We need to critically measure everything up to what the Scriptures say.
It just gets under my skin when people assume for others when they have absolutely no idea what's going on.
I'm actually Reformed Presbyterian, and I believe in the doctrines of election. I don't agree with infant baptism or female elders either.
Not all denominations are unbiblical, but I just like to specify since after study I have realized that this theology is the most accurate.
I understand what you're saying to be lighthearted, but I'm not trying to be popular... I'm just looking for someone who takes God as seriously as I do.
I want them to know I'm serious about God and not just self-serving...
Thank you though, and I'll think about changing the text on my page to maybe something more easygoing?
I'm on the verge of leaving this site, but we'll see how it goes.
dear legend, you made a post.. and then when folks answered you and gave you their opinion on it.. you get testy with em,, my question to you is why come?
if someone wants someone with blue eyes i say so what.. its their preference.. they like blue eyes.. i really dont believe it makes someone racist for who they happen to like.. not everybody is gonna like everybody romantically. just search and find the one that likes you. and not worry so much bout if some dont prefer you or not.. ya know..
I feel I can honestly say I have no racial preference; I have primarily dated and been friends with white guys for the simple reason that those are the guys that approach me. Maybe you should be focusing more on your own spiritual condition than finding ways to read into the little things other people do that you simply cannot help. Yes, it may be a problem with some people, but it can also be a matter of overanalyzing.
And I side with Ole Cattle... don't ask for opinions only to tear them down.
Legend; Unfortunately I have to agree with all the other posters, that is that if people specify as to what their looking for, culturally wise, then so be it. I write about 10 letters a week and never get a response back. But that is a freedom of choice for these ladies not writing me back. All I have to do is move on searching for someone else that interest me.
What I have observed though is that I always get mail from paying sites, but not from free sites like this one. The only mails I receive on free sites are from scammers. If I were you, I take the advice from the second poster after your original post. It is insightful and makes allot of sense to me.
