I'm doing it now. My heart was taken on the sweetest ride ever by a lady, mentioned in another thread, whom I thought was divorced, but learned that it hadn't gone through yet. She took me to the stars, more than any woman had, since my wife, who passed away in 2009. We had "this" in common, "that" in common, God was showing us "signs" that we were meant to be. We would come on messaging here and chat for 2 1/2 hours every Saturday night. We seemed to grow closer with each passing day and week. Then last Wednesday she changed from Jekyl to Hyde very suddenly. She informed me she had a bad day Monday, her husband (that I didn't know was still her husband) was going to make trouble for her about their divorce. She hit me hard with the most harsh criticisms of emails I had written. I could not believe what I was reading.
This one is very very difficult, I am finding, to get over. It is literally a grief process. It is as if the person themselves have died. The sweet things she said to me for around 3 months, I now wonder if she even meant them. I'm on a tough walk now, crying nearly every day. I doubt she has shed one tear at all. I just wanted to say that being kicked to the curb suddenly, after being led to believe that one day you might marry, is the most severe and to me unChristian-like act there is. There was even talk between us, of how we slept, in a dark room, a sound machine. She always seemed to say "Oh that's how I do things too!" Now, I don't think so. She knew everything about me, my phone number, all of it. But I never was told even her last name or given her phone number. I should have been leery of that, but she had me by the heartstrings. I didn't care. I had no common sense to care. My downfall. She kept me a secret from her family. No one but her knew of our relationship. Another red flag.
My heart goes out to others who have been taken on a similar journey with your heart, only to be kicked aside like nothing had ever transpired. I truly understand! With God's help, I will heal, but it may take me some time to realize this goal.
I don't know why, but I totally forgot to say that she didn't really come after me, I was the one who initiated communicating with her. I don't know what drove me to start talking to her, I just did. My very monumental mistake.
Oh Musician... try not to beat yourself in the head about wanting to get to know someone.
I'm sure we all have at some point in our lives regretted our relationship and friendship choices, and blamed ourselves harshly when things didn't seem to go well.
Sometimes there just weren't 'red flags' to speak of, sometimes there were 'yellow flags', and sometimes we just were being sincere, looking for friendship, and the other person didn't have the same intentions.
There is always the free will, free choice in relationships, and some people choose to be mean and cruel in their behaviour.
(I am slowly learning to walk away, when is ee that happening.. no more giving them 'the reaction' they obviously were hoping for, nor running after them, for crumbs of love and acceptance.)
While it's always good to ask God to teach us whatever He wants us to learn, dwelling on it too much and too hard, trying to figure it all out can also hinder our healing, and keep us stuck in the same situation, instead of actually moving on. Too many times have I heard that phrase 'what is God trying to teach you', and it's not been helpful, when you're actually in need of support, compassion and love.
I'm sure we can always learn from what we go through. That sometimes comes afterwards, when we have gained enough perspective, and already moved on from the acute pain and grief... and God is not some petty, cruel teacher, hitting us in the head, until we have guessed what He intends us to learn..! 'He is moved by our infirmites', says the Bible...
Maybe the lesson in heartbreaks is for us all to learn how to support those who are suffering.. sharing in our grief and pain, instead of being like 'Job's friends', who thought he was to blame, and there must have been some hidden sin.
May you have peace in your heart, and assurance that you were being sincere and kind toward the person, although they did not appreciate that.
God never misses any detail, and He sees and rewards ..
I wish I could post the last sweet email she sent to me. I can't message you with it because of differing age preferences to receive private messages. I wish I could. That would show the reason I'm having such a hard time getting over her. There were nearly 100 emails showing her growing closer to me (so I thought). I have them all archived in my email program.
Thank you for such wonderful advice and help though. I appreciate it more than words can say.
I do agree on it all and about heartbreaks being meant so we can do as you say, be supportive to others. I am so thankful for all of you here. It means so much to me.
I'm still around, but just barely. Due to some low back issues, which are better now, I've been checked on weekly by home health. When the male nurse came to check me today, I got into this heartbreak. I showed him printed out emails and pictures of the one who hurt me. When I saw her picture, I lost it right in front of him! Went all to pieces! He was so understanding and himself, couldn't understand why she turned on me due to other circumstances.
To add to my problems, I've got the onset of eyelid vibration (Myokymia) that's about to drive me out of my mind. I didn't have that until all this upset! I sure didn't need something like that. Sometimes just blinking sets it off and it feels like my eyelid is going to stay shut on me! Again, thanks to everyone for your prayers. It feels like sometimes, my breaking point isn't but just within a heartbeat.
I've whined too much, but I have to say that ever since that horrible person hurt me so badly, I've had nothing but an increase in health problems! I spoke to a nurse by phone today, and she told me that having eyelid twitching in both eyes is highly unusual and a bit abnormal. It hasn't let up all day long plus other things going wrong, blowing up in my face! My nerves have taken one unfair huge hit from what happened.
I wish we had a health forum here. Even date-minded people can have health stuff going on.
Probably will cancel my account here and never go on another dating site as long as I live. It's only asking for big trouble and upset. Not worth it. Thanks again to all who have prayed for me, if I do decide to leave.
It's true that having a broken heart is making many health issues worse.. and causing them, too ..
Yes I do have set some limits regarding my inbox. (Funnily enough, someone was able to go around those preferences and message me anyway... so the system is not 100% accurate)
If you wish, I can try to message you later when I am on-line. just for to say hello.
That's sure right about a broken heart causing health problems, NarnianGirl. What happened with me, my eyelids started twitching, vibrating, almost drove me over the edge! Thank God, today they are much calmer. I had two days of that, and yesterday, I thought I was literally going to break.
That's strange about them being able to go around your inbox preferences.
Aw I would be honored if you want to message me hello! I'll gab with anyone who will read my typing. lol!
I will sure take care of my health. My nerves have calmed way down since the past 2 days. When you message me, I can give you the username of the one who broke me into, since I can't do that out here. I think she left here, and never is online.
I'll check that Suggestions thread out, and thanks for that info! Yeah, I kinda felt like a health and wellness forum wouldn't be a bad idea.
Had a scary event with my left eye today, but I think it's going to be ok. Probably a retinal vessel spasm. The entire last two weeks have been a nightmare in all ways possible!
My heart was taken on the sweetest ride ever by a lady, mentioned in another thread, whom I thought was divorced, but learned that it hadn't gone through yet. She took me to the stars, more than any woman had, since my wife, who passed away in 2009. We had "this" in common, "that" in common, God was showing us "signs" that we were meant to be. We would come on messaging here and chat for 2 1/2 hours every Saturday night. We seemed to grow closer with each passing day and week. Then last Wednesday she changed from Jekyl to Hyde very suddenly. She informed me she had a bad day Monday, her husband (that I didn't know was still her husband) was going to make trouble for her about their divorce. She hit me hard with the most harsh criticisms of emails I had written. I could not believe what I was reading.
He was so understanding and himself, couldn't understand why she turned on me due to other circumstances.