Author Thread: Dealing with desire...
stormcountry33

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 4 Jul, 2010 03:02 AM

Many of you know this through other post have made...I have been single my whole life and believe in remaining pure until marriage...however I struggle a lot with sexual desires. Looking at young women (women my age) in inappropriate ways and negative thoughts that enter my head. There is no doubt that my lonliness often feels like a prison to me. How can I deal with this negatvity. I don't really want to post this, but I feel I'll get honest feedback and from people that I don't have to physically face. Please help me....(I hope no one thinks bad of me...) God bless all of you!!

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othniel777

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 22 Aug, 2010 03:08 AM

Bro, you're not alone. Yours is not an isolated case. A normal/straight guy like you would be tempted by Satan - the accuser of the brethren, the father of lies, so that you'll feel guilty andg there's a chance that you would give in. You've got a lot of wonderful and biblical advice down th�s page. Mine is practical, if you are being tempted at home - GO SHOWER. If you are outside, divert your eyes then sing praises to God. Also, if you haven't memorized this vese yet, please do so "Submit yourself to God. Resist the devil and he'll flee from you." I hope these would help. I read somewhere that if you don't mean bus�ness with the devil, stay away from his orchard. And I could say that you are not frequenting his orchard that's why he's always tempting you.

God bless you.

Keep trusting God to keep your purity.

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SilverFire

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 4 Sep, 2010 05:40 AM

Every Man's Battle is a CRITICAL book. Go read it. Buy it. Do whatever it takes to get it and get it in your mind and soul. I say this as someone who's struggled with exactly what you describe. That book teaches you explicit tips and techniques on how to keep yourself pure. That's the thing that I was missing. There's a huge gap between knowing and believing the right thing and then the practice of it. I didn't know how to, day-to-day, not invite sin into my mind. But I'll just say this: it all begins with what you let into your sight and what you choose to dwell upon. Scripture memorization is important too, as well as a right attitude -- that is, thinking of how you can serve whom you see -- instead of just letting your flesh seek out its own fulfillment.



I tell you, though, marriage isn't going to be a sinecure, but it sure will take the pressure of us guys in this area.

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powdermoose

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 10 Sep, 2010 03:39 PM

Two books about dealing with desire were really helpful....

Every Woman's (or Man's) Battle

Not Even A HInt

Experiencing God by Blackaby was also life changing because my eyes became focused on watching for what God was doing rather than watching for what I was seeking.

God bless,

Sandi

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 13 Sep, 2010 10:00 PM

First of all, God gave us those desires. Having them is not a sin. But they are to kept within the limits of Gods standards(the marriage bed, Hebrews 13:4).

2: We have to learn to control the flesh.

Romans 13:14 But clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and make no provision for [indulging] the flesh [put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature] to [gratify its] desires (lusts).

3: We have to be willing to want to. God isn't going to turn us into mindless robots that have no feelings or desires. It takes some effort on our part. Ephesians 4:27 Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].

Matthew 26:41 All of you must keep awake (give strict attention, be cautious and active) and watch and pray, that you may not come into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.



The great news is, that's what the Holy Spirit is for! :D

Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).



Also, continually renewing our minds with the Word is a huge help. Try holding a porno in one hand and the Bible in the other. It doesn't work! lol



One last thing.

Hang in there!! You might be knocked down but you are not knocked out! 2 Corinthians 4:8 We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair; You CAN get a hold of this thing!!

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 07:10 PM

Rom.7

15. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.

16. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good.

17. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

18. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.

19. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.

20. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

21. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good.

22. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man.

23. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

24. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

25. I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

It's not that we are sinners because we sin.. It's because we're sinners that's why we sin.

Heb. 10: 2. For then would they not have ceased to be offered? For the worshipers, once purged, would have had no more consciousness of sins.

If we are cleansed, then there is no more consciousness of sin.

Yes, we've done our best not to sin. We never even willed to do these kinds of sins. You just looked at a woman and the sin aroused in your heart. You did not will it. so why burden ourselves with these sins as if we have the power to stop doing them for the mean time? Paul has been talking about it. And this is the Gospel that we be free from our sins so we can serve the Lord with a free conscience. If we are still guilty, we might as well review our hearts and consider Jesus' sacrifice again and see if we have been really taking the right track.

**These sins are the lusts of our flesh. These are the sins that are living within us. but as what was previously posted,in Galatians, it says, "Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh."

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 10:33 PM

feeling very glad in the fact that I can and do abstain,with God's help ,staying in constant prayer that the Lord helps me, while keeping Satan behind me~ Keeping at bay any thoughts or feelings at such a non existant level ,I'am able to live happily on my "own" with God being in on the fact that I'am waiting to keep my "desire" for marriage.God will keep you strong in your want to do what is right~ Also that being the goal, seems to put out a vibe that automatically makes people realize that you are not"looking" per se'.IF you are in ,or beginning a relationship,your desire should be for that individual ONLY~No discussion~God should be the answer and in the forefront of anything in question~

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cowgirl1984

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 7 Oct, 2010 10:45 PM

I agree with caitiealli that the desires themselves are not wrong. GOD CREATED SEX AND THEREFORE SEXUAL DESIRE. He's the one who told us to go forth and multiply. But also like caitiealli said, that is supposed to be within the context of MARRIAGE. Your desires/feelings are normal and not at all wrong. It's how you deal with them that defines who you are as a man of God. Sexual desire is natural. Impure thoughts are from Satan. But they are not one and the same thing. Bear in mind that along with impure thoughts being from Satan, so is guilt!! The more you allow yourself to feel guilty for something, the more you will focus on it. Guilt is condemnation. Condemnation is from Satan. Don't feel guilty. Learn how to turn your thoughts toward God when impure things come into your mind. We will never go a day without being tempted by Satan at least once. That's who he is and what he does. Even Jesus was tempted. Your job as a man of God is to reject the temptation and focus your eyes on Him and Him alone.



One thing to respond to Sparrow. Just because a girl is dressing immodestly does NOT mean she's going to hell. Many Christian women do not understand what they do to guys when they dress like that. Don't judge someone by how they dress. You raise a very good point though that instead of thinking about them in an impure manner, pray for them. Great advice!

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jc8866

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 08:14 PM

get the book, every Mans Battle!! its a good ONE>>



Hey Know this,, Man. breaking that covenant of God is More than just sex. it opens your life up soo much more to the Demonic attack than you have any idea.. Turst me.. I did it and payed the price!! no dout..



cast out every bad thought to JESUS, say to your self I Take my thoughts and eye's captive under the blood of Christ being obident to his will, his life, his authority and I submit those sinful thoughts to Christ. and I accept his blessing with Thanks Giving grace and Faith, Knowing that MY God has a blessing on the other end of every battle!!



AFTER EVERY CURSE THERE IS A BLESSING!!



after Every Test there is a Promise

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ineffable

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 24 Nov, 2010 06:32 PM

The first thing to do is to accept that you are a wretched creature (Romans 7); saved by Grace; and thus: you've nothing to prove to anyone.



You - like all human beings - actually ARE 'bad.'

Jesus Christ His self said: "Why do you call me good? There is none good but God."



But this doesn't mean we have to wallow in our sin?

"What then... should we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid!" - Paul



The other part of freedom is this:

Ask God to change your perceptions:



When you see differently you will think differently.



Trying to think>do differently - and condemning your self for failing in that regard - before you see differently is not the way.



Be well; as inspired by Him

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Dealing with desire...
Posted : 22 Jan, 2011 08:09 AM

I must say Michaelkeith.Amen to your post...I know men have a bigger temptation to these desires than woman .I do know also as a woman there is times I just want to be held.I know there is so many marriages that fail because of this issue...My church would try to confront these issues,but there has to be a softened to heart to accept the rebuke Donna

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