What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness And Morals???
Posted : 3 Nov, 2010 04:25 PM
I wouldn't post anything here if Jesus was sitting right next to me. I would ask Him the questions we ask here though. I think some things get off track and out there too but most of the time we are able to keep the subject reigned in. I agree that there are some subjects that might be a little risque, but we are adults and as Christians we face an awful lot of questionable stuff in the world and in the Church today and sometimes it's good to hash it out with fellow believers. Did you know the average person in the U.S. sees 60,000 images a day? How many words do you think we hear? Sometimes it's important for us to talk about topics that some may find offensive because we need the wisdom of others to help us navigate through the muck of the world. There are some things that get brought up here that I never gave any thought to before.
I also think it's important for us to let someone know when they have crossed a line with a topic or comments and I think most of us do that anyway.
So I do agree with your sentiment. Perhaps we need to keep some things in better check than we do some times.
What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness And Morals???
Posted : 3 Nov, 2010 04:46 PM
That is very true. A lot of people seem to let themselves be influenced by the ways of the secular world. They think that some things are ok to say because it's something that everyone else says. They would be wise to take the advise of Romans 12:2, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think".
What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness And Morals???
Posted : 3 Nov, 2010 05:41 PM
thank you! :applause:save by grace ,believe that from me personally(& other men out there i'm sure) that we can be sometimes carried away with material things like cars,sports,news,(girls) & the computer which distract us away from from the bible.when it comes to that point, we need ladies like you in our lives to remind us with this instead of allowing things to be bottled up inside of you which can lead to nasty arguments.
What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness And Morals???
Posted : 4 Nov, 2010 10:12 AM
couldn't agree with you more. Its just like everyone is so concerned about looks. If you look hard enough you can find something attractive about everyone you meet. Plus since we are suppose to be christians we all need to ask ourselfs what if god was sitting right next to us as someone in old, worn out cloths and his apparance wasn't that great. Unfornatly most people wouldn't even give a second look even though it could be the nicest person in the world. It seems that this also goes on in the dating world too. How sad people can't look on the inside.
Before I get a bunch of backlash from everyone I have asked out plenty of woman online that had no pic. I am more interested what they are about on the inside. That is what a true realtionship is built on.
What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness And Morals???
Posted : 4 Nov, 2010 09:14 PM
This is an implicit slam of some unpopular topics here, and that's frankly, not very loving. The world is sick and dark and even we sin. We'd better be able to discuss these problems openly or they will shame us into silence and one by one, destroy us. Don't you know that's how the devil works? The devil wants us to think that only we have done something so horrible, something that no-one else understands, and that we can't tell anyone about it. The devil wants us to think that no-one will accept us if something horrible happens to us. The devil wants us fearful, isolated, lonely, and ashamed. Do you know why? Because people in that state are perfect opportunities for SUICIDE. Furthermore, if we as Christians, can't discuss sin openly, we're not going to be able to minister to the lost and dying who are drowning in sin. So first we destroy one another and then we become more useless than used salt.
To drive the point home, how well has the church's "no, never ever" approach to sex ed been? By ceding that to the godless schools, look at what has happened. It all begins with fear.
What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness And Morals???
Posted : 5 Nov, 2010 12:38 AM
At the risk of being accused of either implictly or even explicitly "slamming" anyone, I'd have to say I agree with the majority on here. There should be some sort of proper decorum or etiquette on this and all internet sites. Although this is a dating site, it is still a Christian dating site. And yes, I agree, we are all sinners, this is an open forum, and I understand the merits of free speech. I simply don't believe someone should be accused of acting in an "unloving" manner because they'd rather not read about certain topics that may or may not seem a little risqe for a so-called Christian site when there are more proper venues that some of these issues could be addressed in a more helpfull, professional, and delicate manner.
It seems the older I get I see people getting bolder and bolder with their words and expression under the guise of free speech, or human rights. The problem is, it seems some people have more rights then others.
On the other hand, I understand too if you don't like or agree with the subject matter, you don't have to read or comment on it. It doesn't cost anything to subscribe to this site so it's not like you're getting "gypped" or anything by skipping it. However, I believe we must take into consideration that this is still a Christian site and many people subscribe to it and read these forums, so maybe we should choose some of our words or posts a little more carefully.
I love everyone one here and am "slamming" no one. I just thought I'd take a moment to exercise my rights and express my opinion as a fellow Christian.
What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness And Morals???
Posted : 5 Nov, 2010 04:41 AM
As someone who has been on the receiving end of explicit derogatory comments regarding my topics and posts on CDFF (including multiple comments by the OP of this thread), I'll toss in my two cents here. I've received multiple comments on the open forum here and have received well over 100 messages privately during my nearly 7 months on this site. Following some nasty comments on a thread of mine 2-1/2 weeks ago and related hate mail, I actually deactivated my account for 1-1/2 weeks. I just started posting again 5-6 days ago, I believe, and the hate mail has started up again.
Knowing how the OP feels about me, as expressed in her explicit comments towards me and my topics in the past several weeks, I can't help but feel as though this thread may, at least in part, be directed towards me. Of course, I have no way of knowing this for sure. When I first read this topic soon after it popped up, I hit the reply button all ready to lash out. But, as I was sitting there praying about what to say, the words weren't coming, so I came to the conclusion that God didn't want me to post at that time. I decided to take a break from the forum for a day or so (I last posted on Wednesday afternoon) to do some praying about what, if anything, to say, and whether or not I perhaps needed to leave CDFF permanently.
I give all of that as a background to hopefully place the rest of what I have to say in context. Please realize that I mean no malice here and that I have prayed several times regarding if I should and how to respond.
I've brought up some pretty dark topics here in my time on CDFF. I've talked about being recruited into a sex ring when I was a young child and have said that I was essentially a child prostitute. I've mentioned that there are pornographic pictures of me from that time floating around the internet. I've talked about my history with bulimia and have mentioned that I used to cut myself. When I was raped this August, I talked about that too. I also talked about the resulting pregnancy and the miscarriage.
Regarding all of these things, I have gotten feedback that I was being inappropriate and that I wouldn't talk about such things if Jesus was sitting right here with me. In reality, I absolutely would talk about all of these things if Jesus were present with me in the flesh. In fact, I pray about all of these things and I am 100% confident that God has never once considered it to be inappropriate that I come to Him with these things. He's never shushed me up or told me to take my thoughts elsewhere.
I've also been told that I've glorified sin by talking about the various things in my life. When I talked about having become pregnant, I was told that I was glorifying pregnancy outside of wedlock. One person even told me that my "b*st*rd" child would go to hell because of the fact that I spoke of such obscene matters as rape.
I've been accused of being a "sl*t" and have even been told that I was arousing people sexually by talking about rape. I've been told that I should never mention being raped to anyone except for a counselor because counselors are specially trained to not be turned on by rape.
I could go on and on. As I said, I've received well over 100 pieces of hate mail in the last several weeks. And, yes, some of these comments have been from people who actively post in the forum on a daily basis.
You know what? I get it. I get that my past isn't wholesome. The message has come through loud and clear. And, I am fully in agreement that sin is not wholesome and not moral. "What Has Happened To Good Ole Wholesomeness and Morals???" Sin happened. Adam and Eve disregarded God in the Garden of Eden and it went downhill from there.
But here are some other questions: What if Jesus had thought that our sin was too unwholesome to be talked about or to be addressed (with His very life!)? What if He was just so disgusted with our fallen nature that he tossed us all into Hell without giving us any hope for redemption? What if He never talked to the woman at the well because she was just too unwholesome for Him? What if God had decided to flood the earth again instead of sending His Son to die for us? Why would someone so powerful and righteous want to come down here and dwell in the midst of our unwholesomeness? Why would He want our grubby human hands touching His robe?
He, who was perfect, He, who could have clung to His rights as God, ministered in the midst of unwholesomeness. He didn't sweep sin under the carpet or tell us that we were so lost and so dirty that we needed to be ashamed forever and never speak of our lives aloud. He knows everything about me. When I was being forced to have sex with hundreds of men as a child, He was there. When I was sitting on that beach in August, deep in prayer, and was then attacked and raped, He was there. He has always been there and He has carried me through. He has never turned His back on me for a single second. He was never so horrified at the site of me and my unwholesome life that He shut His eyes or walked away.
The tragedies in our lives are not the things that happen to us and the unwholesomeness doesn't stem from ministering through our brokenness or through reaching out for help. The tragedy is when we feel too ashamed to speak out. The tragedy is when we assume that nothing good can come from our brokenness. The tragedy is when we shut Jesus out of those dark places and tell Him that He can't use those things in our lives for His glory, because someone might embarrass us on a public forum or because someone might send us hate mail. The tragedy in my life is not that I've been violated sexually. The tragedy is that I sat around in shame as long as I did. The tragedy is that I was afraid to tell anyone. The tragedy is that I saw no hope whatsoever for a very long time. The tragedy is all those times when I sit around being selfish and thinking that I have some right to a wholesome reputation.
You know what? I don't have a right to a wholesome reputation and I don't want a wholesome reputation. I don't want to be fake or to put off pretenses. I want to be so wrecked and so stripped of everything that I'm tempted to define myself by, that all you see when you look at me is Jesus shining through. I don't want people to have to wade through a wholesome exterior to see what Jesus is doing in my life. I don't want them to just pass on by because they assume that the exterior is all there is. I don't want to playact and I don't want to try to upstage Jesus with pretend wonderfulness.
When we deny the darkness of sin because we want to keep things all wholesome and when we choose to ignore the depths that we ALL come from, then we deny the cross. We deny the necessity of the sacrifice of Jesus and we deny His power to redeem us. Redemption is so much more than spending eternity in Heaven; redemption is in the here and the now as we let God take everything that is messy and awful and let Him make something beautiful from it. We cannot live lives worthy of our calling if we don't talk about those messy and awful things. How can we say anything that truly reflects who God is and what Jesus did for us is we pretend that unwholesome things don't exist? You cannot preach the Gospel with your life when you live as though everything is all wholesome and rosy; when you do that, what you're really preaching is that you have your own righteousness and that you don't need Jesus. That's not grace.
There's nothing wholesome about the cross and I'm okay with that. What we did to lead Jesus there wasn't wholesome and what He did for us would be considered R-rated. Christianity ISN'T wholesome.
I read posts/threads like this and the first thing that pops into my head is, "Do you know Jesus?" Have you ever truly experienced Him? You can't walk away from experiencing Jesus and decide that parts of your life are off limits. You don't walk away deciding that Christianity means that you get to wear rose-coloured glasses and live in a bubble where you never have to grow and mature. You walk away wanting to give Him everything at any cost. You walk away wanting to give Him your pride and your comfort zone and those parts of you that want to run from things that aren't familiar and that you'd rather talk about. You walk away wanting to show Him to others. You walk away wanting to be compassionate in a way that only true followers of Christ really can be. You don't walk away not wanting to show people Jesus -- the Jesus that stepped into your brokenness and is healing you and loving you.
Someone asked me why I do stick around on CDFF when I get so much hate mail and whatnot. And I explained that I don't just get hate mail. I also get mail from women who have been sexually assaulted. Many of these women explain to me that I'm the first person they've ever told, because all of the other Christians they know don't want to talk about unwholesome things. They say that when they've seen me be open about my life on the forums that they know that I'm different and that they can talk to me without me making them feel ashamed. And while I"m certainly no authority on recovering from sexual assault, it is truly my honour to be able to reach out and see God be glorified. That's the redemption of my darkness: knowing that God's glory can still shine through.
If anyone is even still reading at this point (it's long, I know -- sorry), know I don't speak about my life because I feel like I have a right to free speech or because I'm trying to be risqu�. I speak about my life because that's the work of redemption. As Christians, we're called to live transparently because the world can't see Jesus in us if we don't.
While this thread upset me and while all of the unkind words that have been said explicitly to me have upset me, I would be more concerned if I wasn't getting backlash. I'd wonder if I ever did anything that really mattered for Christ.
