Author Thread: To believe or not believe---That is the question.
1desire

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 11:22 AM

Read and chatted with people online and I have encountered many fakers. One of the most craziest things that I've encountered here on CDFF, was a man who pretended to be of a different nationality rather than his own. And it's not only nationality, but many other things as well.



Knowing to that this is a dating site, this is bound to happen no matter if you're a male or a female. Too many fakers out there.



My question is how many of you actually believe what the person on the other end is saying? And how long does it take for you to believe?

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Tulip89

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 11:35 AM

Well I don't do internet long distance, so it simplifies a lot of things. Usually after a couple messages, I invite her to coffee or over for dinner. I've never had any problems meeting people off the internet this way, so I guess it works. It's a lot harder to scam someone in person (and when I'm so darn charming!).

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1desire

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 12:06 PM

lol.....Nice one Tulip!! And I guess you're one of the exceptional ones hehe....



Although, being where your at----to some-----comes off as it being "easier" to meet other fellow Christians.



I believe that many (many) people out there find it hard to meet their 'significant other' at the same location they're at-----hence----joining sites such as this.



But seriously----->being deceptive and knowing that its already hard---just make things even more complicated/difficult.



I know, I know---its an online thing----but seriously!! haha....

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 06:42 PM

putting ourselves out there is all about weighing risks versus rewards. For some people it won't be worse the muddy waters we have to go through in this online world, because seems like vast percentage are 'fakers' but I still think its worth pursuing for the potential reward.

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bcpianogal

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 08:18 PM

Yes, there are a lot of fakers online, but there are also a lot of genuine people online. I've had conversations with both. One guy from Egypt declared his undying love for me, and begged me to marry him...in his first message. Another guy who claimed to be from the USA wrote messages that sounded like he'd put them through an online translation program first. I have been lucky enough to have met two guys in person who were exactly what they claimed to be online.

But how do I choose to believe what someone says? It's not always easy. For the most part, I'll believe them until something proves differently. I watch for inconsistencies from conversation to conversation. If they are fakes, it's hard for them to maintain the same story every time.

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cmseeker10

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 17 Nov, 2010 01:44 AM

Being on A Christian Dating Site doesn't always mean It's free from fakers.Actually I think there a lot of fakers come here because they think they can easily fake Christians,but they are wrong.

I think all of us experienced the same.How long does it take for us to belive them? It takes a long time.We should ask qeustions and a lot more.Don't believe everything.Just recently I talked to a guy who claimed to be single .I gooled his name and found out that he is married with 3 kids .HA HA HA.But It doesn't mean that there are no true Godly man in here,there are....

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 19 Nov, 2010 09:31 AM

Personally, I think successful online relationships are the exception, not the rule. Consider yourself lucky if you've found your "missing rib" on here. But if not, God has BETTER plans.



I think some people wanted to take a break from their 'normal' lives and pretend to be someone they would want to be. I've encountered such person online. I just feel sorry for people who feel that they need to create a persona as a means of escape.



What they do not know is that GOD can fill that void that gnaws at you in the dead of the night. Money, beauty, worldly lusts-- all of these fade, but the love of our Father never ceases.



The 'fakers', as we call them need prayers as we all do. A quick, "Lord, please save them" may spell the difference between a soul lost and a life gained.



Jesus is almost here, aren't you excited? I know I am. ^_^

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 27 Nov, 2010 06:04 PM

No, there are many people out there who are lonely and need love in their hearts. I am such a man. We are not fakes and tell the woman all about ourselves and are denied even a mesage. If you have no photo on your profile then you are doomed. I was new to this website and hadn't posted one yet. But I found out the hard way that mostly It's how a man "looks" only. Why won't women even give us a chance. I had the love of my life, or though I thought, for six happy years and then she just walked out on me. We talked and laughed together, and I loved and treasured her. Her name was Kim. No reason and no explaination at all. I treat all women with the upmost dignity and respect as a Christian white man. Now I am shattered and confused. What "AM" I supposed to believe, and what in God's name do women want? How do you love a woman when ypu give them everything you have? Now, I wish I could just die!





Sincerely,



Beatnik



(The Lost)







BLC

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 27 Nov, 2010 07:16 PM

I ache for you...and for those who may not post on here but are victims. It is difficult to reach out. It is maddening when you are too "cautious." It is humiliating when you get "taken."



While I have found no "happy medium," I have figured out a couple of things.



My ex changed dramatically over our 20+ years of marriage. (Just recently, he confessed our whole life together was a lie. He claims that he accepted Christ last August.) He supposedly made a profession of faith while we were dating in the early 80's. We were married in 1984. I treated him as a Godly husband; he accepted being treated that way, but never ACTED as a Godly husband. He went through the motions and was a good person for many years, but there was always something missing. (hindsight) It didn't matter as I was married and was going to honor my vows, grow old with him, love him, etc. As his true nature became exposed, and the conflict of living the life he chose evolved, he abandoned our marriage, me and our three children. His "recreational" drug use ( of which I knew about before we were married ) was more than he led on, he deceived me and lied until the substances overtook him, and he just stopped caring. This was gradual for the first 16 or so years of our marriage. Then his demeanor became dark and he just dropped off into his lifestyle. I had young children at the time, and as he was no longer "hiding" his drug usage, I took steps to protect them. I asked him to leave, still trying to save our marriage. He took steps to cut us off financially and sincerely felt he no longer had to be responsible for us. I initiated the divorce.



He has gone through drug rehab, but not changed much. I choose to believe he has a relationship with Christ and pray change will come...but that is really between him and our Father. There is of course much more to this, and I have had to beg his forgiveness for what I was responsible for in the deterioration of our marriage.



I will never know what really happened...the deceit, the lies, the abuse; if all this was necessary to bring him to Christ, then God's Will was done in His excellent timing. Should I have seen the warning signs and known this would happen? What would it matter now? As I can digest it now, sin is sin and we have all fallen short. My ex is no better, no worse than I am. We are at different places in our walk. He may meet someone who will find him perfect for her. She could have her opinion of me and question my commitment to Christ.



I have dated seriously 2 men since my divorce, and they both knew what I had been through. They both had ex's who had their issues with them. I felt at a time that both were wonderful men who were marriage material. I loved them and trusted them. They felt similarly about me. Yet, both abruptly dumped me to the disbelief of me and my friends. No one saw it coming. Now, in these guys' minds, they had perfectly logical reasons for breaking off the relationships. I will never know. Again, what does it matter now?



We take the chances, trust in God, pray, hope, grow in faith, serve, love, BELIEVE...but all we can be sure of is our relationship with God. I am certain I will be worshiping in heaven with many who have wronged me. That's what I try to boil it down to. My responsibility is to forgive them and pray for them. Their sin is just that: their sin. My sin is my sin that I choose to give to God.



(pant, pant) Whew! Sorry this was so long-winded.

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To believe or not believe---That is the question.
Posted : 16 Nov, 2011 08:39 AM

Well said and honestly written!

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