Would you rather read a profile that is very detailed or one that is not?
Posted : 10 Oct, 2022 10:04 AM
okay... so... example... i get a wink... not a message, but a wink... >.< when and where i grew up... culturally women could wink at a guy, but guys didn't wink at girls unless they had dust in their eyes :P
so typically, i just ignore winks... i have a long profile... so i figure if someone can't think of anything to say to me other than a wink (or a message of "hi" or "your [sic] pretty"), then they probably are responding to my pictures and ... didn't read anything... And nothing irks me more than being messaged cos of nothing more than genetics...
Because of the user name, i yolo'ed it and read his profile. Wow. Good think that I did. Why?
Cos his profile painting a picture of what a life together with him might look like... and tbh, it captivated me completely. (I wouldn't write this if i thought that he'd notice what i wrote... hmm... this is a risk...)
So, yeah, his profile was long and detailed and ... just perfect for me to get a sense of the completely wonderful man that he is.
Unfortunately he has family connections in his country... and its the right place for him... and likewise i have strong connections in my country and would be unlikely to ever leave.. which is kinda heartbreaking, but...
y'know? you get one life partner (typically), but there's no limit on having a nice person who you love but don't have a romantic relationship with.
anyway, point being that i wouldn't have wrote him if his profile wasn't so... special. and despite that being romantic seems 100% impossible, I'm so thankful to have him in my life, even if just in a small way...
i just figure they have something stuck in their eye :P
no, i don't react... kinda think maybe that they aren't confident enough to write anything... and kinda annoyed that they'd think that now i should respond... i mean, respond to what? you didn't tell me anything about you (and often the profile is too bare bones to give me ideas even if i did want to write back.)
so... if you have enough interest to wink, please look at her profile a bit more and write something... even if short. just enough to give some ideas for return message...
agree with Fustasjeoppheng... almost every single person who writes me... there's nothing for me to write back as their profile is... kinda useless.
not sure why almost all profiles here are either generic, or else the person posts weird stuff that screams to stay away from them :P lol...
on OKCupid, the profiles and the question format makes it easy to write people back. problem is that almost no one on that site is christian.
i'm patiently waiting on getting my second Covid injection next month and being able to go to church in person in my new city... cos online during Covid has been two years of nothing... (well, had about 4-5 months talking to one christian man... that was nice... but he lived in another country and neither of us could move, so...)
I mean, almost all the messages I get are from people who are almost certain to be non-Christian, with most of them Muslims. I mean, it doesn't take much intuition to think that someone from a Muslim majority country, who doesn't reflect Christian values on their profile... am I really to think that they're one of the few believers in their country? Really?
As far as photos, I mean, if I take 30 photos, I probably hate 25 of them for various reasons, 4 of them are meh, and maybe one of them I don't want to poke out my eye posting it. Even then, since I feel like a pretty high majority of men (80%? 90%?) only judge me on my age and the photos... and don't read what i wrote (based on the PMs, they can't be reading my profile)... so ofc I focus on the only thing that they actually look at before writing (and usually badly :P ).
So I think I can be forgiven for not posting pictures of today, when I was too sick from Covid to make lunch (fortunately my sister in law was home to cook.)
Aaaaand, if someone starts to talk to me (at my age? someone who doesn't want a Schengen Visa? hahahaha, prob not happening :P lol)... i mean, my pictures look like me. so its all personality to either make or break things after that. and its not like i don't send pictures and videos (all G rated, mind you) to the very rare person i talk to. So any hidden truth stays buried for maybe a day or two? :)
when i was younger i liked to read about spy stuff... i preferred the ones that were (supposedly) true stories.
i'm forgetting the name of the book, but there was one about a cell that was commissioned after the attack on the Israeli Olympics team by the Mossad. Team was drawn from non-agents to add to plausible deniability.
anyway, team had a lot of success killing off the persons that Golda Meir put on the list of those that her government thought was responsible.
but one night after a successful hit, while back at the hotel, the team left one of the members alone in the bar with a young woman...
it was the last they saw him alive....
(they didn't ever figure out who paid her; who she was working for. but they did get revenge... something that was hard to read about, for obvious reasons...)
so yes, when setting a trap, beware of the "prey" ;)
i guess with any movement/philosophy/party my first thought is of Uncle Screwtape and his advice to Wormwood in terms of how to deal with the upcoming World War - whether to push his "patient" towards pacifism or nationalism.
Screwtape finds the question amusing and emphasizes that its not important which way the patient is pushed, so long as they become so absorbed with it that they neglect "the Enemy" (meaning our Lord).
sadly, it seems that most 'christians' are more interested in some movement or other, to the detriment of their relationship with God. with MGTOW being just one in a long, long list of distractions.
(As a pure aside, I had some time ago a short correspondence with a man who turned out to be an incel... someone who was broken and hurting and who i was trying to witness to. it took some manner of time for his to start making incel-inspired accusations... but once it started it was... well, pretty scary and i quickly blocked him.
(my other thought on this is that if women want to seperate from men due to prior abuse, or men want to seperate from women for similar reasons... as an individual decision, i can't fault them... but in either case when it becomes a political movement... the risk of fear turning to hate and thence to abuse of 'the other'... its a sad thing...)
expressing the internal sense of panic appropriately with words is... something of a challenge...
i mean, on one hand, i have good memories of trips with my ex... really special times... although it causes more pain now, ofc...
what i mean is that vacations are special things... seeing/experiencing the world, but...
but. i can't imagine how i'd learn more about the relationship... i mean, its the best of circumstances... can't i be happy with anyone in good times? vacations? both long term relationships were unmitigated disasters that i regret... so the nice trips really misled more than anything (neither person did i travel with while single).
the other thing... i mean, if i don't trust someone well enough to share a room, then i wouldn't want to go on a trip with them to figure out how i felt, and...
and if i trust them enough to travel with them, then i'm in risk of not wanting seperate rooms, or not sticking to it. I've avoided temptation all my life... but that was by not taking those kinds of chances :)
so, yeah... a guy could floor me by offering a trip to Paris, but I pray I'd keep having the wisdom to say its premature :)
slightly ironic that you'd be the one to warn about the dangers of a sailboat when your avatar seems to be from the Titanic disaster ;)
but yeah, totally appropriate warning, given that the offer was romance novel material ;)
(i'm old enough to daydream a beautiful future, while being completely "steeled" against actually responding :) ).
it did remind me of a nice co-worker who had a yacht and was about to do a six month tour... timing was such that my contract was expiring just in time to join them. my marriage was over, but i was still trying to salvage it. so i didn't go. it was the right thing to do... to still try even though i knew i'd fail. but i have *so* much more peace that i made the effort and didn't take the "low hanging fruit".
obtw, read your profile... was... well, there's not many good profiles on this site of people around my age... but yours was really nice... lots to think about :)
sorry your experience... i had not so different on another site. but same issue in that their actual closeness to God was... well ... didn't really exist at all.
took me much longer to break free, but yeah, kinda soul sucking...
on this site... idk if its my location or age, but pretty much anyone writing me... i read their profile and its clear that they're probably actually muslim (seriously), and at least definitely not christian. while my daughter met her fiance on this site (which is great, we all love him), i've only wound up finding two people to talk to in... 18 months or so.
i guess the one good thing is that the profiles of people who aren't really following Jesus... imo, its pretty easy to spot. but yes, very sad when winding up in a long term relationship and start to realize something is wrong. (kinda long for the old days, when your family and their family talked and talked and figured out whether a couple was compatible... modern internet opens doors worldwide, but the risk is... really high...)
