Author	Thread: A sensitive subject
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 25 Jun, 2011 08:57 PM I have a few questions about apperance. I could be wrong, but it sounds like women have a need to be pretty, even attractive; if this is true, than why? As a man I feel pressure to dub a woman as pretty, attractive, etc even if a woman is not, and we all know not ALL women are pretty etc.. I feel compelled however to apologize to those who have been treated unfairly because you were judged on your "looks" when they should have never been a criteria...i.e. a job interview. As for myself I know Im not very attractive, and I am ok with that, I just wish some women didn't look at me as if I was going to eat there souls lol. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 25 Jun, 2011 09:14 PM first off women like to hear that they are pretty beautifull ect it makes us feel good about ourselfs atleast that is the way i feel i dont think that im an attractive person i dont care if people dont find me attractive thats there opinion n there opinion doest matter to me its how i feel about myself if a person doesnt like you then they dont have to be around you Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 25 Jun, 2011 09:44 PM Like Chistiananna said, women do want to hear that they are beautiful. I think the key is if you think a woman is beautiful enough for you, just tell her she is beautiful and keep the rest of your opinion to yourself. We as guys know that when someone asks us what we think is beautiful, we will just someone by our ideal standard. But, there is a huge difference between our ideal standard and what we find attractive enough to want in a wife. The hard part is getting women to understand the difference. For example, if my �ideal woman� was Katherine, Duchess of Cambridge, but I had a girlfriend who I found attractive but was tall, slender, long dark hair, small figure, a little bigger on the bottom, and had a beaked nose that if she put on a pair of dark rimmed glasses she would look like Groucho Marx, you just tell her that she is beautiful, tell her the things you like, like her hair and her slender figure, and keep the rest to yourself. Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 12:37 AM do you know what men and womens problems are sometimes we only look at the apperance of a person and not beyond that you may run into someone that you may not think is attractive but if you take that chance and get to know that person then you may end up finding that person more attractive if you start a relationship just on looks you may find yourself wanting to get out of the relationship because eventually that person is going to show you there true colors Post Reply
Ivory_Guitar View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 12:40 AM Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you know. Technically, that means every woman is beautiful. I must disagree, however, about what you said about looks not being a criteria. You have to be attracted to a person, in my opinion. Of course, a compatible personality is the most important trait. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 01:15 AM We're kind of getting off the subject here...basicly I want to know why women want to be told they are beautiful. It owuld seem misleading to tell a woman who is not pretty that she is, objectivly speaking. I recall in a dif forum the issue of wight came up, and the author of the post was a woman...of..great girth (for lack of a better term) there and there wasn't much physically that many would find attractive about her. Yet friends of her ralleyed around her telling her how beautiful she was....why??? :) Post Reply
tuesdayof88 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 04:46 AM Because beauty has to do with the heart, not physical looks. A girl can be a bombshell, and not be beautiful. Just as a larger woman can be not so physically appealing, but have a beautiful heart. Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 06:21 AM Rabbit, women like to know that they are beautiful. It�s similar to telling a guy that he is needed and useful. But, I agree with you that we shouldn�t lie to a person just to make them feel better. It�s a fine line, really. For that woman in the other post, she was crying out for answers, and I think it was wrong to not tell her the truth. But, for someone who is your girlfriend or your wife, it�s important to tell her what you do like and keep the rest to yourself. There is also the flip side, where women expect you to think that they are practically perfect, when you know full well that she is not. But, as Ivory alluded to, there is no set standard of beauty. Every guy has his own idea of what he likes. The trick is to find a guy that likes how you look, and not be concerned about what everyone else thinks. Chistiananna, there are people who tend to find someone more attractive as they fall in love with them. This usually is the case for women, but the hard truth is that is NOT the case for most men. If they don�t find you attractive at the start, they are not likely to find you attractive as they get to know you. It�s the harsh truth, but there it is. One of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that we each think the same way. We can�t push our way of thinking on someone else, and then complain when they don�t fit your ideals. Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 10:19 AM Cobbler said: "women like to know that they are beautiful. It�s similar to telling a guy that he is needed and useful. [snip] there are people who tend to find someone more attractive as they fall in love with them. This usually is the case for women, but the hard truth is that is NOT the case for most men. If they don�t find you attractive at the start, they are not likely to find you attractive as they get to know you. It�s the harsh truth, but there it is." Cobbler you just hit the nail on the head with those above statements. Women like to hear they are "pretty" from the person they are "with" because it goes back to the basic needs of a women... and that is to feel wanted and desired by their mate. We also are programmed to know that guys are visual creatures. It's why we seemingly obsess about our physical appearance and seem to always need that verbal reassurance from our mate as we age that we are still "desirable" to our mates... Does this mean that if a man doesn't find a women attractive he should lie and say she is? No. I would not want someone to lie and say they found me attractive when they did not... that would actually hurt more than being told right off that they found me ugly. However, just because you find someone unattractive doesn't mean you should be rude about it either. But then... not everyone has learned the skill of tact either... I know that first hand lol. Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 12:23 PM I don't know that it is a matter of women feeling they need to be told they are beautiful..... so much as it is a need in most (if not all) women to feel attractive. Personally, when a guy tells me right away that I'm beautiful I am immediately turned off because I know darn well what I look like from the outside, and by the world's standards I'm not beautiful. (I am very happy and comfortable with my looks, by the way, but I know I am not beautiful. That is 100% fine with me). Even when a girlfriend tells me I'm beautiful I take about 40% off the top. Why? Because I know darn well I'm not, on the outside, beautiful by the world's standards. However, my girlfriends also know my insides and the kind of person I am, so I know when they say I'm beautiful they are talking about the whole me. I think it is being attractive more than beautiful that women need to know from men. And there are lots and lots of ways you can tell a women she is attractive. For just me, based on my experience, I would not want to be told I'm beautiful, even by someone I've been dating for 3 months. But he could let me know he finds me attractive. THAT would capture my attention and heart much more than beauty. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 05:38 PM we just want to hear that we're pretty by the man that matters...when we're small, our Fathers should told us that we're beautiful because that's where our confidence starts. when we get older, the man that wins our heart obviously, we want him to find us beautiful...it's all about feeling safe. I think alot of times, the attraction grows when getting to know each others hearts, too. Post Reply

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