Author	Thread: Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry?
Admin	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 10:41 PM What is your take? What would such a guy need to disclose? What would such a guy need to offer to be considered date worthy? Should such a guy give it up? Mike Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 11:14 PM Why should he not? We're all going to die at some point, right? I'm in great shape, but at any second I could be hit on my motorcycle, be hit by lightning, develop cancer, have a staph infection get into my blood, be mugged and murdered, or any of many other random ways to die. God numbers my days just as he numbers yours and everybody else's. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 05:20 AM I agree with tulip - we're all gonna die somehow anyway sooner or later. I think they should do exactly what every other guy does to get a date - whatever that is. The fatal health issue - I'd say it after you've established a relationship, and you're comfortable with telling her. Wait too long, and she might do one of those "you lied to me!" tantrums and act like she's scarred for life. I've seen that in movies; that's ridiculous to me. I have a small health issue that I usually disclose after we've established a relationship - not fatal, but is worth a disclosure. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 06:56 AM I think it depends on just how fatal of a health issue you are talking about. Like Tulip said, any of us could die at any moment. Know about a health issue might not make a difference, but if it does, it's better to find out before you marry her instead of afterwards, when she is sure to find out. Hopefully, if a woman truly loves you, it won't make a difference. I know a girl who married a guy who had leukemia; it was in remission when they actually got married, but they both know that it could come back and kill him at any time. It doesn't matter to her. She loves him enough that she is willing to care for him, and she would rather have a few years of marriage to him than no years of marriage to him. By the way, if a health issue is contagious, the girl needs to know...and sooner rather than later. In my own family, there is a history of heart disease and diabetes. I feel that I need to tell any guy who is serious about me that there is quite a good chance that I'll become diabetic when I get older, and that if I don't keep an eye on my general health, I could have heart problems as well. (All of the heart problems have occurred in males, not females, but there's still the chance.) Did that make any sense at all? Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 09:44 AM I know a guy that got married that could die the next time he gets a paper cut. Just depends on the person you find to marry. If they can handle it, then sure, tie the knot. :peace::peace: Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 10:17 AM Is the fatal disease AIDS? Is it something that could could become fatal for me? I would want to know sooner rather than later.... Post Reply
pjay470 View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 12:04 PM Mike, I would say definitely NOT give it up. If God has someone out there for you, then it would be a shame to not be receptive to His plan. Being honest and laying your cards on the table is necessary however. Your possible partner then has the ability to make an informed decision. Pam Post Reply
View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 12:13 PM For discussion purposes, lets assume that this is not something that can be caught or transferred to someone else... Lets assume; 1) The remaining good health expectancy for the man is five to ten years, with a life expectancy of ten to twenty years. 2) The life expectancy once the future condition manifest itself is about five years. For example, some sort of pre-cancer, pre-diabetes, or pre heart condition that while it does not have any effect on the mans health today, has been discovered by medical test and it has a reasonable chance to manifest itself between five to ten years of today and a high probability of doing so within ten to fifteen years, with a life expectancy after it shows up in force of about five years. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 12:20 PM Cardinal: Given your further conditions and examples, then my answer to your question is sure, if he is led to by the Lord to seek a wife he should do so. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 04:46 PM Thanks for the clarification...Yes I would... Post Reply
marikashome View Profile History	Should a guy with potentially fatal health issues down the line date and/or marry? Posted : 24 Oct, 2010 10:03 PM Date-most definitely. Marry-after discussing the issue if it's sure to be an issue. What would such a guy need to disclose? Anything that would pose a risk to the woman should be disclosed, definitely. ie if a person has HIV, then she needs to know. On the other hand, if heart disease runs in the family and the person is just concerned but hasn't shown any signs of carrying it, then it could be discussed for diet and exercise's sake, but not as a deal-breaker. The main thing in those cases is to take care of oneself and prevent the issue if possible. What would such a guy need to offer to be considered date worthy? Love and respect, just like any other guy. Should such a guy give it up? No. You may question that by my profile, because I mention that I want to grow old with the person. That would be my preference, yes, especially since longevity runs in my family. (I could get married within the next two years and easily reach my 60th wedding anniversary!) However, if a person is doing what they can to live life to it's fullest and isn't depressing to talk to (always down on themselves and saying no one will want them because...) and is doing their best to stay healthy and fit, longevity isn't such an issue for me. So... if heart disease or diabetes runs in the family, and you eat five double cheeseburgers and drink three liters of pop a day, sit around the house watching tv or on the computer and don't get up for anything, you wouldn't be the one for me. If on the other hand you knew those things ran in the family and maintained a healthy weight, exercised regularly, and had regular checkups, then that would be different. Also, how far down the line makes a difference. If you think you've got 1-2 years and huge medical expenses coming, those are things you'd need to discuss with a significant other sooner rather than later. Post Reply

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