Brother, usually it is a very painful and private life tragedy, not something you'd really post on an open page for everyone to read. If they were an innocent party and have forgiven the 'ex' then 'blabbing it' would not be a godly thing to do.
If you are interested in the lady, other than that issue, a polite inquiry will reveal all and let the sister in the Lord know that you care about her personal story and not just her as a statistic, and either put your mind at ease or set you looking elsewhere.
Selfishness (what about me? my wants, my desires, me, me, I want, I need, etc.) and PRIDE, which comes from...THE ENEMY.
Which leads to lack of forgiveness, hurt feels, hatred, bitterness, resentment, anger, etc...a hard heart.
Then comes the worldly idea that we would "be happier with someone else." and then there is cheating, lies, adultery, broken families and more pain.
This happens because people don't understand how important marriage is to God, and how to really put Jesus at the center of your marriage. It's about more than living together, raising a family and having sex without guilt.
It's a life long soul tie to another person. If that other person is not a strong Christian, or struggles with things of the world, or are not even believers to begin with...you set yourself up for a lifetime of pain and misery with someone that you never had any business marrying in the first place.
Not many people will actually pray about their engagement and ask God's permission to marry a person. Not every marriage meets with God's approval, even if both parties are Christian. God has a destiny for each person on earth, and if you marry the wrong person, that person could potentially prevent you from fulfilling the call of God for your life. If you go ahead and marry someone based on only your emotional feelings alone, and don't seek God's Will...you're gonna run into problems.
Then people are surprised when it doesn't work out, they are miserable, or they don't walk in the blessing of God they thought they would.
We all have free will and choices to make every day. Who you marry is your choice, but you have to be willing to live with the consequences of that choice, if you go against God's Will for your life and marry someone other than the person God has for you.
I dont thin Smili seen ur question so Ill refer you to what hes talking about.
Matthew 19:8
Viewing the King James Version of Matthew 19:8
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Even though there is legal Biblical reasons for divorce it seems as if Christ our King ans governer of grace is saying that if ouyr hearts weren't so hard towards each other and Gods Spirit, we could and should be willing as a couple to forgive one another of anything,, even adultery, just as our heavenly Father has also forgiven us of all we have did in this life.
Just a though.
Some spouses doent want forgiveness and keeps committing the same offence's/tresspasses.
And like God doesn't forgive us if we dont truly repent "meaning to turn from" we arent require to stay in the life style either.
As for me, Unless a woman or man is being Physical abused, i think its always better to stay married and let them stay with us as Paul has said, or let them leave as Paul has said.
"For what Knowest thou oh Woman, whether thou shall save thy husband"
"Or what knowest thou Oh Man whether thou shall save they wife."
For as long as they remain, you are a covering and your children are blessed. Well you know the rest of the story
Refer to above;
"The main reason for divorce is marriage",,, LOL,,:laugh:
Thats Pretty Funny and it definitely brought a smile to my face. Sad to say,,, divorce never is easy or funny.
I dont thin Smili seen ur question so Ill refer you to what hes talking about.
Matthew 19:8
Viewing the King James Version of Matthew 19:8
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Even though there is legal Biblical reasons for divorce it seems as if Christ our King ans governer of grace is saying that if ouyr hearts weren't so hard towards each other and Gods Spirit, we could and should be willing as a couple to forgive one another of anything,, even adultery, just as our heavenly Father has also forgiven us of all we have did in this life.
Just a though.
Some spouses doent want forgiveness and keeps committing the same offence's/tresspasses.
And like God doesn't forgive us if we dont truly repent "meaning to turn from" we arent require to stay in the life style either.
As for me, Unless a woman or man is being Physical abused, i think its always better to stay married and let them stay with us as Paul has said, or let them leave as Paul has said.
"For what Knowest thou oh Woman, whether thou shall save thy husband"
"Or what knowest thou Oh Man whether thou shall save they wife."
For as long as they remain, you are a covering and your children are blessed. Well you know the rest of the story
Refer to above;
"The main reason for divorce is marriage",,, LOL,,:laugh:
Thats Pretty Funny and it definitely brought a smile to my face. Sad to say,,, divorce never is easy or funny.
I agree with you Hedgedweller, that even adultry can be forgiven. A single act of bad judgement does not need to end a marriage, though councelling and much prayer and grace will be needed to restore trust and ease in the relationship again. Easier to resist the temptation to begin with!
A repeat offender, however, ...someone who can't seem to stop this behaviour... often complicates their selfish sin with mental and physical abuse, blaming and even accusing the innocent party for the same or related issues ("I wouldn't cheat on you if you weren't.... blah,blah,blah")
Suffice it to say that we can judge our own hearts, with the help of the Holy Spirit, and God is our ultimate judge. After that, each marriage-seeker can judge for themselves, when considering a partner, once they know the circumstances of a divorce, whether marrying them would constitute a sin or not.
Of course, a certain person also stated that we are absolutely free to judge another's sin when we are without sin ourselves! :yay:
I think many marriages end because they were not "God breathed" or "God inspired" to begin with. I mean, the vows state "What GOD has brought together"........well unfortunately many people choose to get married without God being the chooser. Rather, the humans chose. I'm not a rocket scientist, but putting the cart before the horse and then blaming the horse, doesn't seem logical :ROFL:
I should not have married either one of my husbands.
They were not Godly choices; okay, I get that, Really!
But even through my first husband did not cheat and proclaimed to be a Christian, he was mean as a rattlesnake!!!!!
I was told how to dress, had to take off all my makeup, was not allowed to see friends and family, "he choise who I could see" could go only where he allowed. and was hit.
I divorced him, and we don't get along to this day.
I loved my second husband like crazy, but he had real problems, plus was mentally ill, (refused treatment) when I feared for my life and sanity, I left.
Now their are those who say because of this I must remain forever alone!
O.k. OP it's been 8 to 9 years down the road since the events leading to my divorce; I'll bite.
My wife of 20 years had been embezzling from her employer for over 7 years to the tune of $120,000.00 and she had at least 2 sexual relationships in the last year of those events.
I did not know anything was going on simply because I trusted her, and I knew she could trust me. When I did find out, everyone and their brother told me to get a divorce. I would not divorce because I knew that God hates divorce.
I told my wife simply that if she wanted to remain married we should; but it was noted to her that trust in our marriage would take a long time to be restored. I humbled myself greatly to even walk down that path simply because it was the Godly thing to do, and I wanted to be an obedient servant to Christ.
My wife did not even answer me (literally) turned her back, and walked out the door. At that moment, I knew it was necessary to see a lawyer. Unfortunately I had to divorce her, she left me.
Now mind you, my own business bank acct. had been embezzeld to the tune of $12,000.00 as well as what had been stolen from her employer. To some, that would have been reason enough to divorce.
Today, I live with the results of her actions. I spend a lot of time alone and unsure if there is a future for me regarding a family. Sometimes I am very scared to even begin the path down that road again. It is very lonely now, even 9 years down the road.
My advice to anyone is 'if you don't have to get a divorce, don't.
